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Dedicated to all the “beautiful” people in my
life!
I have always wondered, what is it that endears a person to
someone? Is it their looks, is it their character, or is it their personality, or is it something which is beyond all reason and
logic, like an inexplicable emotion that simply makes them attractive to you. Growing
up, I used to believe that good looks were what made someone attractive. If you
look good, you invariably become a magnet, drawing everyone around you, towards
you. At least that was my belief growing up, and life gave me plenty of instances that kept strengthening my belief. In school, all the good looking
children had lots of friends, they were showered with love and affection by
teachers, parents, students alike. In college too, good looking people were
always surrounded by a group of people, they were the topic of most
discussions, their opinions were valued more than that of others, they enjoyed so
much attention in a day which probably people like me with average to poor
looks never got in our entire lives even! The story was no different at the
workplace too. Good looking people seemed to have everything going for them, at every
stage of their lives.
When I look at the world around me, it seems to me that everyone is so obsessed with looking good all the time, wearing the
best clothes, sporting the trendiest hair styles, trying to attract everyone's attention towards them. You post a photo in social media and
eagerly wait for the “likes” and comments to pour in. Everyone wants to hear others say
that they are beautiful. I would be lying to myself if I said that I was any
different, I too have at one point of time in my life, wanted to look good, wanted
so desperately to get some good comment about the way I looked, but all I used
to get were some very harsh comments on how skinny I was or how my hair was such a terrible mess, to which I had always wanted to reply, “tell me something I don’t know” (a popular dialogue from the movie ‘Simmba’ that I watched recently) because (a)
I know that I am skinny and (b) I know that I have a ‘bad hair day’ 365 days of
the year, but that’s how I am! Being a fair person in a country that is obsessed with
fairness also didn’t help me much, because there were people who
used to tell me that I was so white I looked like a sick person! A young me
took all those comments to heart, got dejected and sunk deeper and deeper into
my shell. But over a period of time, however, I realized that I had been so
wrong and so foolish all the while to think that one’s looks were all that
mattered to the people around you. It must have been in my late twenties that
this change in my notions of beauty started manifesting itself. I had slowly
started to realize that this obsession with looking good was meaningless,
pointless, and totally not worth it. Gradually the realization set in that
there is more to being beautiful than one’s external appearance. Recently I
read the book ‘A Picture Of Dorian Grey’ by Oscar Wilde and it just sealed the
deal. It is a book that entirely changed my concept of beauty.
‘A Picture Of Dorian Grey’ had been on my reading list for
last year (it was a new year resolution that I had made at the beginning of
last year to read at least one book every month, a book which readers across
the world had said in unison were amongst the best books to read in one’s
lifetime), so when I picked up the book from the Crossword store in Cochin last
year along with the other must-reads in my list, I knew that the book was going
to be special, but that it would bring about a sea change in the way I looked
at beauty and life in general, of that I was unaware. When I finished reading
the book, it left me with a very uneasy and unsettling feeling, which I found
very difficult to break free from for many days, many months, in fact. But once I broke
free from it, I realized that I was not the same person that I was before
reading the book. Something in me had changed and I knew that it was for the
better. The book is a tale of fiction, but it is as real as it can be in
depicting human nature. The book tells the story of Dorian Grey, a young man
with such exceptional good looks that one could say that he was beauty
personified. One day, his friend, who is an artist, paints a beautiful picture
of him. Once while looking at the picture, Dorian wishes that he could stay
just as he is in the picture all throughout his life, beautiful and youthful
forever, and instead of him, his portrait in the picture changed and grew old, as he changed with time. And to his surprise his wish comes true!
At the first thought, it is like any human being’s best wish
come true, isn’t it? Who wouldn’t want to be timeless and young and beautiful
all their lives? But how does Dorian’s wish change his life, does it change his
life for the better as one would expect or does it change it for worse? Was his
wish coming true, a boon or a bane for Dorian? One has to read the book to find
answers to what happens to Dorian. However, in real life, if we were also
granted a wish like that of Dorian, choosing between eternal beauty of the body
or the soul, what would we have chosen? Would we have chosen differently from
Dorian? The answers to what happens to Dorian’s life can be found in the lines
of the book, but the answers to whether it is worth wishing for beauty of the
body over beauty of one’s soul, can be found between the lines of the book. It
is a book that will make you think, a great deal. It will have you asking
yourselves questions that perhaps you have never asked yourselves before, and once
find answers to your questions, trust me, there will be no going back to your
old self.
There are all kinds of theories about beauty – some people say
that beauty is skin deep, some say that beauty lies in the eyes of the
beholder. But what exactly does beauty refer to – is it restricted to what we
see or is there more to beauty than meets the eye. People spend all their lives
obsessing over beauty, it is no wonder why the beauty industry is a thriving
one, with multiple brands promising to make you look like a ramp-ready model in minutes and the growing number of professionals who claim that they can transform you from an ugly duckling
to a Prince Charming in no time. But in this endless obsession with having a beautiful
outward appearance, what people often forget is that there is something inside us
which is far more important than what’s on the outside and which needs constant
nourishment and care – our souls. The interesting thing is, no matter how much
effort we put into improving our external appearance, one always falls short. There
will always be someone who will not find you good enough, someone who will find
faults with your looks. But, even if we manage to get everything right, how do
we stop the passage of time? With time our body will start showing signs of
ageing, no matter what we do to overcome that. Then there are unexpected things
that can alter the way one looks – accidents or diseases, and I am not even
talking about life-threatening ones, even a simple illness can have a very
adverse impact on the way we look. Some people take great pride in being very fair,
but what they don’t realize is that, all it takes is a few minutes of a walk in
the sun to go from fair to dark. One thing is for sure – one’s looks are not
permanent. Looks are as transient as they can be and the earlier we understand
it, the better it is for us to leave our obsession with looks behind. However, it
is not the case with our souls – they do not get worn out with time, in fact
they become more beautiful with time, provided we refrain from doing things
that damage its beauty. If we keep nourishing our souls with good thoughts it
remains beautiful forever. No illness, no disease, no event in this world can
diminish the beauty of one’s soul. The better as human-beings we become with
time, the more beautiful our souls become. It’s a pity that most people spend time on making themselves beautiful on the outside, when they should be
spending time on enriching their souls by reading good books, gaining more
knowledge, listening to wise people and doing good deeds. Most often, it is too
late by the time they realize this fact, but by then their looks would have gone and their souls would have been damaged beyond repair. One can always make
peace with the loss of one’s looks, but how does one ever make peace with the
loss of the beauty of one’s soul. It is something that no one can live with.
‘The Picture Of Dorian Grey’ by Oscar Wilde, serves as an
eye-opener to all people in the world who are obsessed with outer beauty.
Reading the book made me look at all the people in my life in a new light. I
thought about all the people whom I like very much in this world, starting with
my parents. My parents are no superstars or supermodels, but I find them more
beautiful than anyone else in this world. To me my father personifies all
things good in the world – honesty, integrity, goodness, kindness, dedication,
perseverance and it is his soul that is the most beautiful part of him. My
mother is to me the epitome of love, affection, compassion, simplicity and
sacrifice. What makes my mother beautiful is all of that. I thought about my
best friends from school and college, well, they may not be the likes of Greek Gods
or Goddesses, but they are amongst the most kind and supportive people I have
come across in life. I thought about my teachers, but no matter how hard I
tried, I could not recollect even one instance when I was vowed by the way
they looked, but I could recollect countless lectures of theirs, where I was
completely in awe of their knowledge, their wisdom, their rich experience, their
grace, their poise and their way of speaking. I thought about some of the best
colleagues in my work life, even though I do not remember the days when they
wore a new dress or looked exceptionally good, I remember all the instances of
their extraordinary kindnesses which endeared them to me, each and every one of
them. I also thought about myself, if looks were what mattered in order to
succeed in life, then probably I would not have been able to study in some of the
best colleges and work with some of the best companies in the country!
When I look back at life, I cannot find even one instance
when I had been attracted to someone who is dear to me, because of the way they
looked on a particular day. All I can recollect about them are the times when I
had been touched by the beauty of their soul. It had never been about the way
they looked, it had never been about the dresses they wore, it had always been about their
soul. Yes, it was their soul that made them beautiful then, and it is what makes them
beautiful even now, and it is what will remain beautiful in them, forever. So the next
time, you look into the mirror and you feel that maybe you don’t look good
enough, tell yourselves that it doesn’t matter because as long as you have a beautiful
mind, it is all that matters. The next time someone tells you that you are not
beautiful enough or someone gives you a harsh comment on the way you look, just
forgive them as they do not know what true beauty is, forgive them as they
cannot see you for who you really are. Stop worrying about what other people
have to say about you, because if we start living our lives thinking about what
others say or think about us, we will only have time to worry. So let people
say all that they want, good or bad, but don’t take any of that to heart. Even if the whole world body
shames you, do not lose heart, instead just listen to your heart, and if your
heart says that you are beautiful, then that’s it, you need not look any further for validation.
God has made all of us a
certain way, we have to accept everything that He has given us as His gift and
be happy for it, because if He has made that decision for us, we have to trust
that it will be for our best. The best gift that we can probably give our creator and for that matter ourselves and all the people in our lives is to love
ourselves just the way we are, because everyone who loves us also loves us just
as we are, so why should we be any different! Here's to beauty that lasts a lifetime and beyond!
