Life in the year that was 2016

From changing jobs to changing cities, from transforming a house to a home, from being demonetized to demoralised, the year sure had a lot going on for me, but that's so far, don’t know what’s in store next!

They say, lightning never strikes a place twice. Mother nature has a way of being considerate, however life doesn’t offer mercies like that, at least not to some of us. Life has its own way of handing over one blow after another to certain people and I happen to be one of them. The year 2016 is almost nearing end, and when I look back at the year that was, the term ‘eventful’ seems to be an understatement. This year definitely has taken me on a roller-coaster ride, unfortunately (or fortunately?) the lows outnumbered the highs in the journey.

Firstly, it took me to the stars, by handing me a job opportunity that was like a dream to me – one with a Fortune 500 company, that too one of the best public sector companies in the country. The professional, the patriot, the nerd and the philanthropist in me were all on cloud nine. Should have known Murphy’s law better – whatever goes up has to come down. I had not finished basking in the glory of my achievement, when “life” happened, and as is it is the way with life, it sometimes manages to flip 180 degrees in no time. The company that I had given all my time, energy and life into for three long years, which was all praise for me, suddenly seemed to dislike me, and all it took was a resignation letter and a strong resolve to move out. So what if I had wanted more from my job than making an already rich person a little more rich, so what if I had cracked a national level test for post graduates and outperformed similar others in a rigorous selection process to make it into one of the best public sector companies in the country, none of this mattered in the tough corporate world of private sector, I couldn’t go unless I had paid my dues for having worked (often ignoring the fact that I even had a life beyond work) so hard for the company, read “notice period”. But serving the notice period would mean kissing good-bye to the job opportunity forever, as my age would never give me an opportunity to even apply again for that job. So, what would ideally have been the happiest day of my life, the date of joining the company that I had struggled so hard to get into, turned into nothing short of a nightmare. I didn’t have a relieving letter, I didn’t have any proof that I even sent a resignation letter to my manager (heights of blind-trust in my manager, which I regret to this day) who turned his back on me at a time when I was desperate for help, by assuring me that I would be relieved on the date that I requested and then changed his word at the very last moment when I was all set to leave; I would not have expected a similar treatment even from the worst of my enemies, not that I have any. However it struck me really late that I did have a copy of the mail acknowledging my resignation and the date that I wanted to be relieved, which was my saving grace (reinforcing my belief that God does exist and he delays, not denies). One hurdle crossed, joining formalities done, trainings and work began, and everything was returning to normalcy post the nightmarish phase, when “life” happened again. This time it was not a nightmare, it was an ordeal.

So I had a new job now in a new city, next step was to get a new car and a new house. That thing they say about arriving in life, sounds so good and looks so good on paper and celluloid, but in real life it is an arduous, painstaking, laborious task, which was nothing short of an ordeal, I would say. Having been brought up in a typical middle class Indian family, I had a very decent upbringing, my parents made sure that I got all that I wanted, the best education (a strict ‘no-compromise’ factor especially for Keralites) and all the comforts that any daughter would want. It was smooth-sailing for me all along, being the youngest in my family, I was always under the protection of my parents and elder brother. That also meant that I had little knowledge on matters related to managing finances and managing home, I never had to do either of it, as they were always taken care of by my parents or my brother. So it goes without saying that I ended up a complete mess when I had to run the show myself.    

I had always been cynical about my friends who could go on for hours on end about the benefits of investing, saving money, reducing taxes and matters like that which always tend to go above my head (got to admit this, I don’t have any clue how I managed to clear all those finance papers in B-School and even manage to get a rank). When my colleagues at work used to spend hours on their laptops, making declarations to save tax, I used to say with a lot of pride, “I don’t believe in all this savings and investments stuff that you talk about” and continue my work, as they busily typed their way into tax-saving heaven. It all came back to me, all those memories, when I found myself staring in disbelief at the swipe machine as the message “Card declined” showed up on the screen on swiping my card. I was at an electronics shop to buy a washing machine for my newly rented apartment. I figured out in an instant what had gone wrong and I knew that the gentleman at the shop too did, but inorder to save me from embarrassment, he said something like “Madam, it seems there is a maximum limit set by your bank for purchases through this card”, a blatant lie that one. I walked out of the shop, shocked, disappointed, ashamed, and embarrassed all at the same time, to be honest I am unable to describe that feeling in words. I had never came across a situation like that in my life, running out of money.


I realized that day that arriving in life, literally meant arriving, with absolutely nothing in hand, starting from zero and working your way up. Whatever little savings (if one could call salary that went unused as one, remember I had never really believed in savings) I had, I exhausted it all on buying a car and renting a brand new apartment, not to forget the long (really long, never-ending) list of items that are needed to transform a house to home. This was clear unchartered territory for me, setting up a house, and I had to tread that path all by myself, absolutely alone, with no support from my parents (their decision to stay away perplexed me at that time, but like all parents they had a really good reason for doing that, took me a while to figure it out though). I learnt many a lesson in life during that period – the importance of savings, the importance of planning, and the most important one – the value of money. Want to teach someone the value of money, look no further than setting up a house on one’s own. I transformed from a person who used to apply zero thought into shopping, to someone who prepares a well thought-out list much in advance before heading out for shopping. What twenty nine years of my life couldn’t teach me, the first couple of months in my new house taught me. I realized why my parents wanted me to do this on my own, they wanted me to stand on my own feet, they wanted me to not just live but thrive without any support from anyone and I believe that I have been able to do justice to them to an extent. From being dependant on my parents for anything and everything, to being on my own in a city that is totally new to me, I think I have definitely come a long way.  All said and done, I have to say that there was something lacking in my house even after I had everything readied in it. It was just a house to me until my parents came to stay with me for a while, and that is when I felt that my house had actually transformed to a home.

It took a few months for things to stabilize in life, expenses were now in check, savings had started growing and yes I was back to my smooth sailing phase, and then “Demonetization” happened. I was not aware that a term like that even existed, and so did many other Indians until that midnight when the Modi government made a landmark decision that was to change the lives of many Indians overnight. From having no money in my account to having money but not been able to withdraw, I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry at the games life was playing with me. Like Ross in “Friends”, I kept asking myself, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”. I seriously doubted if I actually was a good person and if infact I was, then why was all this happening to me. I recover from one setback and then I have to brace myself for the next one, why? Is it just me or is everyone going through similar struggles, I kept wondering.

Demonetization was supposed to be a bolt from the blue for black money hoarders, but unfortunately it was the same, maybe even worse for innocent people too. As an educated Indian, I am expected to sing praises to the government for such a bold move, else I would either be branded as a black money hoarder/supporter, which I definitely am not, or not elite enough, which is quite true. One of my comments in social media on how this move had affected me very badly and  how it proved so costly for innocent people, drew such flak from my friends group, I was left wondering, “Wow, Are there so many elitists in my friends group?”. Well, I do realize that the executives who commute to office in their own car, or take Ubers, Olas or Merus to their offices which have dedicated ATMs in the premises for their employees and to whom transacting using online wallets, net banking and cards comes as naturally as breathing (I know the feeling because I was one of them six months back) this decision must not have created much of an impact on their daily lives. However, as someone who has seen for real the hardships faced by a section of people, especially in rural areas who were already struggling to make ends meet when they received a death blow in the form of “Demonetization”, I am not able to laud this decision of the government. However hard I try to see reason in the arguments made by the supporters of this move, I am not able to understand how one can justify the loss of a human life as something which is for a “greater good”. Well, would they dare try saying that to someone who has lost their loved one. Then there are all these comparisons that are totally meaningless, so many people die in mobs at other places. Well, did they do that out of compulsion? Were they forced into doing that? The comparison with soldiers at the border, which was by far the most lame one of all, how can one ever compare what a soldier is doing for his motherland to something like standing in a queue all day long? I have always believed in the power of honesty, but something inside me hurts when I think of the plight of honest people in the current situation. Yeah I am not an elitist and I am glad that I am not, because if being an elitist means being blind to the suffering of people around oneself, then it is better not being one. I am trying hard not to get demoralized, because like anyone who has suffered because of this decision, I too hope that the suffering was not in vain, but if things are going on the way they are right now, that day is not far away when even that glimmer of hope also goes off.

As if all of this demonetization woes were not enough, there was more bad news around the corner, especially for the people of Tamilnadu, the death of the former CM of Tamilnadu – J Jayalalitha. Though I am not a Tamil, I was deeply saddened by the news of her demise, partly because I have this connection with Tamilnadu that goes way back to 2008, my first job after completing my engineering degree was in Tamilnadu. From my I.T days in Chennai to my B-School days in Coimbatore to the present stint in Tanjore, I share a special bond with Tamilnadu, some of the best things in my life happened in Tamilnadu. As much as I love my home Kerala, I have to say that I feel more secure when I am in Tamilnadu than when I am in Kerala, and a part of the credit goes to the “Iron Lady” as Jayalalitha was fondly called, for putting in place such a robust law and order system in the state. The way she lead the state, the way she brought so many companies to the state – from I.T to automobile to energy, the way in which she carried herself despite several setbacks in life and her pro-poor schemes, she just commands respect and she is nothing short of an inspiration for all of us, especially women.

The year is about to come to an end. It has been quite an eventful one for me, went through a lot of tough times, but everything only served to make me more strong and wise. It was also a year that gave me a lot of satisfaction and pride in the job that I am doing, directly and indirectly benefitting a lot of people around me. It is also a year that taught me that one should never put work before family, a lesson learnt a very hard way, because all the good work you’ve done may be forgotten in one day by your company or your superiors, but the moments you spend with your family, they last a lifetime. I had read this somewhere, no one remembers powerpoint presentations at your funeral. One must work to live, not the other way around. I also learnt two very essential life skills this year – driving and cooking. I learnt a new language. I learnt how to set up a house all by myself. I learnt that I can finally be on my own, not having to depend on someone to take care of me from time to time. The year that was 2016 was like this for me. I vaguely remember the lyrics of an English song that goes “life is a roller coaster”, well the lyricist is right, life definitely is one. What is a roller coaster ride without the lows, isn’t it what makes the ride worth taking, wouldn’t it be boring ride if the roller coaster went only in one direction. So, all we have to do is just sit back and enjoy the ride and always remember to keep our eyes open for what’s coming next.

Sandesh2Soldiers: Diwali greetings to the bravehearts of the Indian Armed Forces

Two years ago, me and my parents, we found ourselves in a situation, escaping unscathed from which seemed next to impossible, let alone escaping alive. It was the devastating Kashmir floods of 2014. We were among the many people affected by the incessant rains and subsequent floods in Jammu and Kashmir in the year of 2014. Many days passed without food or water or a place to stay, and we had lost that crucial factor that keeps one going at times of distress – “hope”. We had lost all our hopes of making it back to our home alive, when we first saw that ray of hope and it came in the form of men clad in a uniform that we had associated with the “Indian Army”. My concept of God till that day had been very simple; I believed that the goodness in me was my God. When I had to give a face to that belief, the picture of my parents were the first to come to my mind. To me they personified goodness; their love and concern for me, I knew was unconditional, without any expectations. But then I met a group of people, whose love and concern for their fellow beings who were total strangers to them was so unconditional, I felt that they were too good to be real. Never before had I come across a group of people who were so selfless, so dedicated to serving people, that they would happily sacrifice themselves for the sake of the nation and its people. They were the officers of the Indian Army and the Indian Air Force. Now, if I had to put a face to the belief that is ‘God’, the faces of these officers are also sure to make their way into my mind as their selflessness is something that is out of the world.   

Picture courtesy: timesofindia.indiatimes.com

I still remember how the news of the Indian Army being deployed to rescue the people affected by the floods in Kashmir brought hope to the hundreds of us who were stranded and badly in need of help. We had only heard about the valour and courage of our soldiers, their stories of success in every task assigned to them, however we got a chance to see that for real and I would say we were among the very fortunate to have had that opportunity, because it was an experience that bought about a sea change in all of us, in terms of our attitude towards life, our attitude towards our duties as responsible citizens, and most importantly about how life should be lived. Of what use is this life, if it is not for the benefit of those around us? It is something which I have kept asking myself ever since my experience during the Kashmir floods and the main trigger for it had been these officers and their selfless attitude.

From the moment the Indian Army and Indian Air Force arrived to our rescue, we knew we were in safe hands. The way the officers co-ordinated and planned the evacuation of all stranded people from the flood relief camp still makes me wonder as to how someone can think and act in a calm and composed manner given the circumstances that they were working in – a total loss of communication networks, chaos created by a mob that was desperate to get back to safety, limited supply of food, water, fuel and manpower, a total breakdown of all road links to name a few. Common men would have fallen apart in a situation like that, but then the officers were no common men, from the first time that we saw the men in action, we knew there was something special in them. Imagine not been able to contact your near and dear ones for days on end, but still keeping a straight face and consoling other people, instilling hope in them that they will make it through these tough times, working day in and day out without any complaints, most of the Army officials in our camp had not been able to contact their families, however they were working round the clock to ensure that we get back to our homes safe and sound. The only way out of the flood affected area was by air and the Indian Air Force was operating helicopters till late in the night to evacuate maximum number of people from the camp and to bring us food and water. The next day morning even before we woke up, they would commence their work for the day. We were mostly awakened by the sound of the approaching helicopters only.

The efforts of the men in uniform paid off; hundreds of us who were stranded were airlifted in a matter of days and we all returned home safe and sound. Sometimes, when I look back, I think about what would have happened to us had it not been for these officers, would we have made it back alive?

Ever since I returned from Jammu and Kashmir after that near death experience, I have been more appreciative of life. Every day since then, used to end with a prayer – a prayer to thank all those men in uniform who bought us food and water when we were in the camp, all those who kept vigil as we slept, all those who instilled hope in us when we felt that all was lost, all those who helped us reach home safely. I used to pray to God to give me one opportunity to do something similar to what the Indian Army officers did for me, for someone around me. I knew that I would never be able to hold a candle to the Indian Army officers and jawans, but I hoped that someday I could also do something in my own small way to make a difference in the life of another person.

Two years later, I did get that opportunity after I got selected as an Officer with one of the leading Oil Marketing Companies in the country. I was among the group of officers, whom I would like to call “God’s chosen few”, who got a chance to be a part of the ‘Pradhan Mantri Ujjwala Yojana’ – a prestigious initiative of our beloved Prime Minister Shri Narendra Modi, that aims to eradicate smoke from every kitchen in India, by providing free gas connections to women from below poverty line households. I know that I can never match the acts of our brave army men, however whenever I feel that I am making a difference in the life of someone through my work, I feel that I am saying thanks to them in a small way and I have a lot to thank them for – for giving me this life that I am leading now and for teaching me that a life in the service of others is a life well lived.

This Diwali, Modiji has advised the nation to send their greetings to the officers and jawans of Indian Army through the ‘Sandesh2Soldiers’ campaign. As someone who owes her life to the Indian Army and Indian Air Force, I thought I would dedicate this blog to all the men in uniform who have dedicated their entire life to this nation. This is my message to all the soldiers, jawans and officers of the Indian Armed Forces –“You are truly an inspiration for me. You have not only given me a new lease of life, but also given me a new way of living life – a life in the service of the nation and its people. You are our saviours and we, the people of this country would run out of words trying to thank you or appreciate you for what you’ve done for us. You and your families will always be there in our prayers. Be ensured that Victory will always be yours as you have a billion hearts praying for you. Here is wishing you and your families a very happy and prosperous Diwali. May you continue to inspire the generations to come, may you continue to make us proud. Jai Hind.”

 

Celebrating 'Swades'

As the nation celebrates its seventieth year of Independence, we Indians have a lot to be proud of. We have come a long way and we are well on the way to becoming a country that the world looks up to. We are also fortunate to have a leader like Shri. Narendra Modi who is trying to make a difference in the lives of the common people through countless welfare schemes. There are oppositions, still he is going strong. This reminds me of a movie that drove home the point made by Mahatma Gandhi – “Hesitating to act because the whole vision might not be achieved, or because others do not share it, is an attitude that only hinders progress “ . The movie was ‘Swades’, directed by Ashutosh Gowariker, starring Shah Rukh Khan in the lead role, and released in the year 2004. It is one of those rare jewels of Indian Cinema which portrayed patriotism in a very subtle manner using a simple but moving tale. It is undoubtedly one of the best patriotic movies of our times, perhaps the best.

‘Swades’ tells the story of protagonist Mohan Bhargava, a Project Manager at NASA, played by Shah Rukh Khan, who comes to India for a short while and how that journey changes his perspective about his country and his duties and obligations towards the people of the country. The movie was released at a time when brain drain was on a rise, with the I.T boom luring many qualified Indian professionals to pursue career opportunities abroad. I remember, I was in the first year of my engineering degree at that time. The only dream that we youngsters had at that time was to complete our engineering degree and secure a high paying I.T job in the U.S. This movie was an eye-opener for many such youngsters who were forced to rethink.   

This Independence Day, let’s celebrate the spirit of ‘Swades’. Here’s why ‘Swades’ makes for a re-watch if you’ve watched it earlier, or why it a must-watch if you haven’t.  Lessons from ‘Swades’ and some of the most memorable scenes from the movie:

Be it your parents or your country, they need your support

Ever wondered why that feeling of going home always brings an inexplicable feeling of joy and peace in our hearts. One of the reasons is the voices and faces that greet us as we open the doors of our homes. Our homes do not feel complete without the elders – grandparents and parents. Merely seeing their face itself gives us such relief. However it is a pity that in many homes, elderly do not get the love and affection they deserve, and are forced to stay in old-age homes, as their sons and daughters leave them in pursuit of their career or riches. The film draws a parallel between children who in their selfish desire to achieve success in life abandon their parents, and citizens who leave their country in search of better opportunities abroad. Just like our parents and elders need the support of their children, our country too needs the support of its people.

We all are one

There are numerous instances in the movie, where the topic of gender inequality and caste system comes up. The movie throws light on the inequalities that still exist in certain parts of India, discrimination based on a person’s caste and discrimination based on gender. It tells us that what has been going on for ages doesn’t necessarily have to be right. If it is wrong, it has to be changed.

Stand up for what is right and take action rather than blaming each other

The movie teaches us that one should always stand up for what one believes is right, whether others believe in it or not, whether others support you or not. Instead of blaming each other for things that are going wrong, the movie urges us to take collective action and set things right.

There is a part of India that is still struggling to make ends meet

One of the most moving, heart-wrenching scenes of the movie is the one where Mohan meets a farmer who tells him about his plight, about how he ended up losing everything he had, due to the injustice meted out to him by the society. It is one of the turning points of the movie.  While there is a part of India that is making rapid progress, there is a part of India that is still struggling to make ends meet, to stay alive. Majority of the people who are economically well-off are either unaware of this latter section of the public or conveniently chose to ignore them. An eye-opener of a scene this one, credits to the actors and the director for portraying the emotions so well. Don’t be surprised if your eyes well-up after watching this scene.

The nation beckons

This one goes without mentioning; when you have a lyricist like Javed Akhtar penning the lyrics and a maestro like A.R Rahman composing and singing the song, the result is a masterpiece. Every Indian’s heart skips a beat when they hear “Yeh jo des hai tera” from Swades. Even after all these years, the song still continues to tug at our hearts. What better way to say that the nation beckons than this beautiful song.

Serving your country takes you places

There is no feeling better than the one of having made a difference in the lives of the people of your country. While some may argue that a job back home, may not always have the same perks as a job abroad, the pride and joy of serving one’s nation is unparalleled. One of my favourite scenes in the movie is where Mohan is leaving NASA and his Manager at NASA tells him, “You could have gone places” to which he replies, “I am going places”.  

‘Swades’ is a movie that not only makes us realize our love for the nation, it also makes us realize the goodness of people. It is a movie that I always go back to whenever I feel low in life, whenever I feel the need for some inspiration in life. There is a saying in Malayalam, “Nattinpuram nanmakalal samrudham” which translates to “Villages abound in goodness” in English. One of the reasons why this movie touched a chord with many of us is the setting of the movie – the village which has a nostalgic feel to it, and the endearing characters in the movie – from the protagonist to the different people in the village, all of whom we can very well relate to, and yes, that feeling of homecoming that just warms everyone's hearts.

With an IMDB rating of 8.3, this movie is definitely worth watching, more than once. If you still haven’t watched it, what better time to watch it than now, when the feeling of patriotism is in the air with Independence Day celebrations still on. This Independence Day as we salute the heroes who got us our independence, let's also salute the unsung heroes who have dedicated their whole lives towards serving the nation and making it a better place for its people. Jai Hind!

Of living life between "Hi"s and "Goodbye"s

“All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players, they have their exits and entrances”, so began the play ‘I don’t like it: As you like it’ in Prithvi theatre, Mumbai. The play, directed by Rajat Kapoor, had various instances that made the audience look back and introspect at life and moments that made the audience think about what one actually wants in life, but for me the defining moment had to be the initial sentence of the play, taken from the very popular monologue from the play ‘As you like it’ by William Shakespeare. It triggered off myriad thoughts in my mind, thoughts of life, of people who came into my life at various stages, and most importantly of the ones that left. It got me thinking, “Isn’t life just a long series of events interspersed with chance encounters and farewells?”

It’s strange how it takes just a “Hi” to start relationships, but it takes more than a “Goodbye” to end them. I wonder, if it’s a given that people who come into your life are bound to leave at some point of time or the other, then why is it that every farewell is laden with tears, why is it that when some people leave, they leave tugging at ones heartstrings?

When I look back at life, I realize that I have had a fair share of teary farewells in my life, while some people left with a promise to stay in touch, some left without any such assurance and some left forever, but with an unspoken promise to meet in another world, perhaps. As much as I hated the thought of farewells, life kept taking me places and I found myself saying more Goodbye's than Hi's all the time. Off-late my life has been about very short encounters and abrupt farewells, by now I feel I should have gotten used to saying “Good bye”, however each farewell leaves me teary-eyed and down. Then again life happens and the daily trials and tribulations of life fills up the voids created by farewells and life goes on as usual, but nothing, not even time can take away completely the memories of people dear to us, can they?

I always believed that I had built this invisible wall around myself, the entry into which was restricted only to those who were very close to me. It was in my opinion, a measure to protect myself from the misery of a broken trust or a relationship gone sour. However with time, I realized that the walls had begun to crumble and I had let in more people than I had intended to and when anyone left, it hurt. The irony of it all is that, if saying that initial “Hi” to that person was difficult, saying “Goodbye” was even more difficult.

Recently I was reading the novel ‘Guide’ by R.K.Narayan. There is a character Joseph in the novel who tells the protagonist of the novel Raju that he only does his duty of providing his guests with all that they require during their stay at his place, unconcerned about their blame or praise. If we were to look at our lives this way it makes sense, because aren’t we also like Joseph for the guests who are the people who come into our lives. If we consider the people who come into our lives as guests, our aim should be to give our best to them, be it our time, our support or our love and affection, but not to expect anything back in return, and not to get attached to them. In that way, we can protect ourselves from the pain of them not sharing the same feelings that we have for them, or them leaving us. A lot of people come into our lives, while some give us memories of a lifetime, some give us not so pleasant ones, while some help us become better human beings, some give us a chance to help them become better human beings, but in the end once their role in our life is over, they leave, sometimes with a promise to return, sometimes forever. It is only when we get attached to them, it brings us misery. All that I have read and understood from books by great minds, all that I have learnt from my experience, tells me to not get attached to people or places, however in the battle between the head and the heart, seldom does the head win.

It is an ideal condition to wish for, one where someone is totally detached and devoid of attachment to anyone, but I am not sure how one can attain that state or if it can ever be attained. Until then, let the cycle of encounters and farewells continue, let me still shed tears at every farewell, but let me be able to tell everyone who came into my life, “Yes, I will miss you” from the bottom of my heart, let me be able to tell them that I have tried to make their life better in every way possible, but may have failed at times and for which I am extremely sorry; let me be able to tell them that I am thankful for all the memories, bitter or sweet, that they have given me and that I will cherish them always, and that this farewell is but a short hiatus till we meet again sometime, in this life or another.   

 

Undefeated

“Failure is the stepping stone to success” – My first tryst with this age old adage was many years ago, when I was in school. It was the moral studies class in school and we students were all ears to our teacher as she taught us this lesson in moral science. Back then, for us, it was just a sentence which we had to learn by-heart to get good grades in the moral studies class. However, years later, after a fair share of victories and defeats in life, I realized the significance of that sentence in my life.

There have been countless instances where I met with failure in life;however there are three which I believe are the ones that have had the greatest impact in my life and which I feel are worth sharing with everyone. Each of them belongs to three different phases of my life.

At School: That first encounter with failure

As a student in school, I always excelled in studies. My interest in learning coupled with my perseverance kept translating into good grades year after year at school. My parents and teachers were proud of me and they were confident that I would ace all the exams I gave. Life was going great for me, until the tenth board exams happened. The much revered (and equally dreaded) board exams were considered to be the deciders of the future course of our lives. Like all students, I too was nervous, but my greatest fear was not that of failing the exam, but something else. My parents and teachers were sure that I would not only pass the exam, but also secure one of the top ranks in the exam. I studied, much harder than I ever had in all my years in school, and gave my board exams. I passed the exam with very good marks, but my marks were not good enough to make it to the top ranks. After being the topper of every class, year after year at school, I failed at a juncture where it mattered to me the most. I felt that all my efforts had been in vain, I had disappointed everyone who believed that I was capable of something more than just passing the exam. Angry, disappointed, dejected, I prayed for a miracle to turn back time so that I could fix whatever it was then went wrong with the way I gave my exams. With much pain, I realized that I had lost the opportunity forever and there was nothing I could do to change that. I had passed the exam, but I had failed – failed my parents, failed my teachers, and failed myself. It was the first of the many encounters that I was to have with failure later on in life.

At the First job: When starry-eyes turned moist

Ranks kept eluding me even after school. I graduated from engineering college with a distinction, but no rank, yet again! However I had no reason to be sad, because I had managed to make it into one of my dream companies, during the campus placements in college. I was elated at the idea of becoming a part of the company that I had always dreamt of working with. I remember the first day in office when we, the company’s new recruits, the ‘crème de la crème’ of the best engineering colleges in South India, took our first steps into the corporate world. We were a group of starry-eyed youngsters, fresh out of our engineering colleges, hoping to make a brilliant start to our career. All of us worked hard to complete the three month long training program with flying colors. However on the day of completion of the training period, we were told that our training period had been extended and that we were to go through more evaluations in the coming days, the performance in which, would eventually decide our future in the company. “Recession” – a term that we had only heard about till date, had become a reality. Our company was badly affected by the recession in the year of 2008. The company was not in a position to on-board all the recruits at the end of the extended training period, so they decided to retain the top few recruits and lay-off the rest, and I belonged to the latter. The truth that I had lost my job had not dawned on me, until one of the H.R team members asked us to enter our resignations in the company portal on that last day in office. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that my career had ended even before it had actually begun. With moist eyes and a heavy heart, I entered my resignation in the employee portal. I felt that my life had suddenly come to a standstill. That starry-eyed girl who had dreams of reaching great heights in her career was lost; she had fallen into a deep abyss of despair. 

After M.B.A: When life changed

The year was 2013 and the venue was my M.B.A College. I was attending the interview for the post of Management Trainee in one of the leading Telecom Operators in the country . My interview went well. My joy knew no bounds when I came to know that I had been selected for the job. After completing my M.B.A, I joined the company. We trainees spent the first few months in the organization learning and working on internal projects. However the real work began, when we were assigned to various districts in Kerala. I was assigned to a district that was far from home, which meant that I had to stay away from home. Just when I had begun to accept the new place and its people, I was assigned my new role of a Service Center Coordinator. The role required me to handle the service related aspects of various franchisee owned service outlets in the zone. It involved managing collection, reducing churn, improving C-SAT (Customer Satisfaction), ensuring showroom profitability, reducing complaints, increasing walk-ins, driving sales of products and services, among many other responsibilities which were not included in our job responsibilities, but which we were expected to do. A few days into the job, I realized that I totally disliked my job. After completing my M.B.A, I was expecting a job that would be all about doing analysis, making power point presentations and being part of strategic decision making discussions, and here I was standing with folded hands in front of irate customers and disgruntled franchisees hurling abuses at me. I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my first job after an M.B.A was a far cry from what I had imagined it would be. With a total lack of interest in the job, I felt like a spent force, towards the end of a year into the job. I felt that I had failed again in life; despite of having worked so hard during my M.B.A I had ended up in a job, that least interested me.

Well, those were the three stories of my encounters with failure, which I wanted to share with everyone. Every encounter with failure hurt, however each of them taught me a lesson that would help me get the better of failure later on in life. I would like to share ten such lessons that I learnt from life, and which I like to call my ‘Ten Commandments for staying Undefeated’. 

Lesson #1: Do not fear failure

Many years since school, I analysed what went wrong with my tenth board exams. I realized that my failure was not due to lack of effort, as I had put in more effort than usual in my tenth grade. If there was one factor that differentiated my tenth grade from all other years at school, it was the burden of expectations that my parents and teachers had thrust upon me. They expected me to get top ranks in the exam. The fear of failing to live up to their expectations, put me under tremendous pressure, during the exams. In the end, the fear of failure got the better of me and I failed to achieve what I had wanted to achieve very badly – a rank in the exam. It took me years to realize the fact that the fear of failure is often the very cause of failure. One way in which I overcame my fear of failure was through sports. Sports taught me the art of being graceful even in defeat; it taught me to look at failure as not an end, but as an opportunity to learn how to do better later on.

Lesson #2: Be a student all your life

This is a lesson that I learnt from my second major encounter with failure, when I lost my first job. I realized that we live in a highly competitive world that lives by the motto – Survival of the “Smartest”. I realized that hard work alone doesn’t suffice in today’s world; one had to be smart, and to be smart, one had to keep learning and evolve with the changing times. I understood that there is no dearth of opportunities in this world for people who are willing to work hard, for people who are willing to learn.The key to surviving in this highly volatile world is to follow what Steve Jobs said, “Stay hungry, Stay foolish”.

Lesson #3: Do not look for instant gratification

Looking for instant gratification for efforts, will most often leave one disappointed. Sometimes, it takes years to finally get to where one wants to reach. A mistake that most people often make is that of giving up mid-way or at the first sign of failure.The key is to keep going at all times. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, Failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts”.  Patience, perseverance and a ‘never-say-die’ attitude will keep you going till you reach your final destination, and once you’re there, should there be any looking back! 

 

Lesson #4: Build a support-system

Just as a cushion reduces the impact of a fall, a strong support system protects you when you hit a low in your life. Surround yourselves with friends, family, teachers, people who adore you. At times when you are feeling down, there is nothing more reassuring, than that friend or loved one telling you “Don’t worry. It’s going to be alright.” Having a great support system helps make the pain of a failure more bearable.

Lesson #5: Learn to believe

‘Belief’ is a very strong word. I have seen it work wonders in a person’s life. A person with a strong belief – be it belief in God, belief in destiny, belief in oneself, or belief in some super power that controls the world, is very hard to defeat. While there are many things in life that we can control, there are a lot of things over which we have absolutely no control. It is always good to believe that there is a God or some mysterious super power out there to take care of those which are not in our control, for us. If one does not believe in God or destiny, a strong belief in oneself, would also do. They say, “Man can move mountains by faith”. A person, who is a true believer, remains unperturbed even in the midst of failure.

Lesson #6: Offer a helping hand

In my school and college days, I remember that whenever our teachers made student groups for group assignments, they made it in such a way that every group had a bright student and a student who wasn’t very good at studies. They used to ask the bright students of the group to help the weak students with their assignments. It is something which we can replicate in our personal and professional lives. Take some time out of your busy schedule to help someone, because if there is something equally rewarding, if not more rewarding than one’s own success, it is being instrumental in the success of another person. Help someone achieve their dreams – sponsor a child, volunteer to teach underprivileged children, offer guidance to someone who is need of it, even a seemingly simple act of just being there for someone when they need you, will leave you feeling elated. 

Lesson #7: Know that you are not alone

History stands testimonial to the fact that failure is a stepping stone to success. Take some of the most famous names in history – Albert Einstein, Charlie Chaplin, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, J.K Rowling, Silvester Stallone, or our very own Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, everyone has failed at some point or the other in their lives.  They failed, but they picked themselves up, and emerged stronger than ever after every defeat, and finally made it big in life. Whenever you feel that you have failed, just think about all these beautiful people, and you will realize that you are not alone.

Lesson #8: Give it up

The ‘Bhagavad Gita’ is a book that I always refer to when I feel the need for clarity in life. I would like to share one of my favorite lessons from the Gita that helped me overcome the fear of failure – ‘Abandon the desire for the fruits of your actions’. Very often one gets so attached to the results of one’s actions that the fear of not achieving it overpowers our actions, which ultimately results in our failure. However, when we give up the desire for enjoying the results of our actions, we are not concerned about success or failure, and this indifference eliminates our fear of failure. Never give up action, but give up the desires for its results, and you will find yourselves on the road to success! 

Lesson #9: Enjoy the ride

When one sets out on a journey to achieve something in life, one is not sure of how the journey will end – in victory or in defeat. Though one cannot predict the outcome of the journey, one can decide how they want the journey to be – they can either go through the journey worrying about the outcome, or they can choose to enjoy each and every moment of the ride. The choice is entirely up to the traveler! So enjoy the ride all along so that you have no regrets at the end of the journey.

Lesson #10: Master the art of ‘Equanimity’

Last but not the least, the key to remaining undefeated is to learn the art of ‘equanimity’. A person, who treats victory and defeat as the same, is neither overjoyed when successful, nor disappointed when unsuccessful.The one, who has learnt to master this evenness of mind, remains undisturbed even in the face of defeat.

Well, those are my ‘Ten Commandments’ towards combating failure and staying undefeated. The lessons that I learnt from each failure, helped me overcome failure at a later stage in life. I would like to share a few of those instances from life, where my past failures helped me defeat failure and emerge successful. 

After years of missing out on the top ranks in school and engineering college, I finally got my share of due credit in my B-School, as I completed my M.B.A with a rank in the university. What was different in M.B.A? Well many things, I had thoroughly enjoyed the whole process of learning while doing my M.B.A, I had totally let go of the desire to get a rank in the exams, and most importantly, I was not afraid of failure.

After I lost my first job, I was disappointed to the extent that I had started doubting my capabilities. But thanks to the support of my family and friends, who constantly kept reminding me that I was capable of achieving whatever I wanted in life, I regained my confidence. I went on to work for one of the leading software firms in the country, aced their training program for new recruits, won accolades for my work, and completed two years, before quitting to pursue my higher studies.

And what happened with my first job post M.B.A? Did I quit? I would have, had it not been for two noble souls in the organization who offered me a helping hand when I needed it most.They gave me some sound career advice, which made me rethink my decision to quit. They made me realize that I was wrong in looking for instant gratification – a job that was of my liking, in hardly a year into the organization. I could either quit my job, which was the easiest way out of the situation, or I could do my job with such dedication and passion that I could prove that I was worthy of taking on that role of my liking within the organization. I chose the latter and here I am, about to complete three years in the organization! Yes, I had to wait for eighteen months to get a role change, but I have no regrets, because I learnt a great deal about managing people during my tenure as a Store Coordinator. Those eighteen months helped me make the transition from an engineer to a manager. It also served as a good learning platform for me as I learnt more about the telecom industry during my tenure in the role. Now when I look back, I realize the importance of a field experience in laying a strong foundation to one's career in any industry and I thank the organization for having given us new recruits such an experience very early on in our career. 

Well, that brings me to the end of this article. In life, we win some battles, we lose some, but we just have to keep going, no matter what happens. The only thing that we do need to remember at all times is that nothing in this world, no failure, no loss is big enough to stop us from living life happily. Every moment in life is to be celebrated and cherished because we will never get it back. Success and failure are both transient, so why worry? I would like to conclude this article, with yet another quote from the ‘Bhagavad Gita’ – “Never in this world is a sincere person defeated”. So, here’s to the spirit of staying sincere in our efforts and here’s to the spirit of staying ‘Undefeated’!

Neerja Bhanot Lives On

I am no film critic, but I had to write this, because there has been no film in the recent times that has moved me, inspired me, and touched me the way the movie "Neerja", starring Sonam Kapoor and directed by Ram Madhvani, did. The movie is based on the true story of Neerja Bhanot, one of the pursers on board the ill-fated Pan Am 73 aircraft that was hijacked by terrorists at the Karachi airport on September 5, 1986.

I was not aware of the whole hijack incident until I first saw the promo of this movie on TV. I asked my mother about it, and she hardly remembered the incident. She said she only had a very vague memory of having read about it in news. The trailer of the movie looked promising, so I decided to watch the movie the very next day after it released. Little did I know that I was in for a cinematic experience that would bring about a sea change in the way I looked at life. 

The best thing about the movie is that despite being a biopic, it is neither preachy nor high on melodrama, and still manages to strike all the right chords in the hearts of its viewers. You will fall in love with the protagonist Neerja, portrayed beautifully by actress Sonam Kapoor, in her initial scene itself as she quotes one of Hindi Cinema's most loved dialogues - "Babu Moshai, Zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahin" from the timeless classic 'Anand'. 

Beautiful, fun and full of life, she is the sweet heart of everyone in her family. The director gets straight into the main plot of the movie within minutes from the start of the movie. It is not long before the images of the happy family of Neerja give way to images of hapless passengers at the mercy of a few trigger happy terrorists. The Pan Am aircraft on which Neerja was flying as the head purser for the first time in her career gets hijacked at Karachi by armed terrorists. The pilots of the aircraft abandon the aircraft and escape to safety as Neerja alerts them about the hijack. This leaves her and other crew members of the flight and all the passengers of the aircraft at the mercy of the terrorists. The film maker succeeds in creating the sense of terror and fear in the minds of the viewers, which helps one relate to what the characters in the movie were going though. Initially just like everyone else on the plane, Neerja is terrified. The rest of the movie is about how she overcomes her fear, keeps a steady mind, thinks and acts wisely and eventually saves the lives of about 300 passengers on the plane. 

Neerja was just a simple girl, with no extra ordinary powers or capabilities, but she did things that many of us would even shudder to think - facing armed terrorists with courage, negotiating with them, protecting over 300 total strangers from the wrath of the armed men compromising even her own safety. What made her do that? What is it that set her apart from others? There is a scene in the movie where Shabana Azmi who plays Rama Bhanot, Neerja's mother, asks herself this question as to what made Neerja act in the way that she did. Even when I got out of the theater after watching the movie, I kept asking myself, "What made her do it"? If I had to take a bullet for saving the life of a total stranger, would I have done it?  

The answer lies in the highest and finest qualities of a human being - 'Selflessness'. Neerja is an epitome of this fine quality of selflessness. Such human beings are very rare, which is why the story of Neerja finds resonance in today's world. In a world where people would go to any extreme for their own benefits, including hurting others in the process of getting it, the story of the selfless act of Neerja is worth telling over and over again. Her's is a story that needs to be told so that those who are not aware of it come to know about it, and those who have forgotten about it are reminded it. Though Neerja Bhanot was awarded by the Indian, American and Pakistani Governments for her act of bravery and human kindness, there were many who were unaware of her story before the movie released, including me. This movie not only reminds us of the heroic act of Neerja, but also about the menace that is terrorism. Though the incident happened 29 years ago, the threat of terrorism looms large even now. It has taken the lives of innocent people before and it continues to take more lives even now.    

Hats off to the entire team of the movie 'Neerja' for telling us the story of the braveheart. Thanks to the family of Neerja Bhanot for letting the world know about this incredible woman. Though the movie will leave you with moist eyes towards the closing credits, though the movie will leave you with a lump in the throat during certain scenes, though the movie will leave you with a strange sense of uneasiness, days after you have watched the movie, it is a "Must watch". The movie is undoubtedly one of the most inspiring movies of our times. It will serve to inspire us to be better human beings, it will inspire us to face life with courage and it will inspire us to be more selfless. 

I would like to conclude this article with a quote by Swami Vivekananda - "They alone live, who live for others". Neerja Bhanot, you will continue to live on! 

When you've lost that lovin' feelin'

Well it's that time of the year, when "Love" is in the air. Pick up a newspaper to read, it's there. Turn on the TV and it's there too. Tune into the radio and yes there is more of it there. After all it is Valentine's - the most special time of the year for lovers. I had often wondered what the big deal about this particular day of the year was, until I fell in love. St.Valentine had gained new found respect in my mind and the fourteenth of February went straight into my list of most special days in a year. It's amazing how love changes one's perspective in a single sweep. Those "Anti-Valentine's" and "I am proud to be single" years of my life had started to feel like they were ages ago. Being in love is a magical feeling. Wish I could put that down in words, but it simply is inexplicable. All is well till that magic of love is alive. But what happens when the magic fades away? What happens when the magic suddenly stops? What happens when one loses that loving feeling?

Fortunate are those who get to spend their lifetimes with the ones they love, but for the less fortunate it is as Lord Tennyson wrote "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". For the fortunate ones it's all about keeping the magic alive at all times, and for the less fortunate ones it's all about rediscovering the magic and not losing faith in the magic. Many a times, I have seen people lose faith in love after a failed relationship. But is love to be blamed for a relationship that did not work out? Most often, relationships fail, not because of the lack of love, but because people let love take a backseat and let their personal differences and egos take over. Had love been above all, the relationship wouldn't have failed. 

Any day is a good day to give love a chance, but Valentine's day is just the perfect occasion to give love a chance. So if you are in love, take some time out to be with your loved one, to tell them how special they are and it doesn't hurt to get them a nice little present too. If you are among those waiting to fall in love, step out, look out and speak out when you find the right one. And yes for the heart-broken ones, I know it is not easy to get through a Valentine's day without thinking about that lost love of yours, but you deserve to give yourselves another chance at love. Just because someone broke your heart, doesn't mean that you have to become all morose and bitter about love and turn into an "Anti-Valentine". This Valentine's keep you heart and mind open and you never know when love may find you again. 

But if you are among those who are not yet ready to move on (strictly only for those who cherish the memories of lost love, and not for those who are saddened by it), then that's what movies and music are there for. Get your collection of the best romantic movies and songs ready before the V-Day and you're good to go. There is nothing like listening to that favorite love song of yours, immersed in the thoughts of that long lost love on a Valentine's day. And if someone said "Move On", tell them, "Maybe some other day, for now this feels good."

As I get my playlist and movies for the day ready, I just wanted to wish everyone a very happy Valentine's day. Though I believe that love is something that needs to be celebrated every day of the year, every moment of our lives, for now let's just try and make the best out of the day of love by loving unconditionally not just our loved ones, but everyone in this world. Happy Valentine's Day!