Black, Write or Grey?

After having survived a flood and a cyclone, I find myself thinking about life and people in general, much more than I used to. I have all these questions in my mind that I try to find answers to, but the more I think the murkier my mind gets, as every question leads me to further questions and the answers keep evading me. I have always found life to be a puzzle, but more puzzling than life are the people in life. People have always been a mystery to me, I have always wondered why certain people are the way they are and why they do the things they do. Though every day in life has helped me gain some insights into the same, there have been certain days, certain incidents in my life, that have given me invaluable insights that laid to rest many of those questions in my mind, but at the same time gave rise to some more questions. I distinctly remember two such incidents – one was a flood in Kashmir four years ago and the other is a very recent one, a cyclone in Thanjavur a few days ago.

When what starts off as a pleasure trip turns into the stuff that your worst nightmares are made of, you can be rest assured that you are in for a very rude shock. It was what happened to me four years ago, when we, me and my parents, found ourselves stranded at a disaster relief camp during the floods in Jammu and Kashmir in the year 2014. It was an experience that brought me close to the many facets of human nature, like one's love for life, one's fear of losing something that is dear to us and one's willingness to help one another, irrespective of their differences. It was an experience that brought out the best qualities in all of us. We had realized the value of life. We also realized the volatility and the futility of the things that we spend all our lives chasing - money, power and fame; all of it could change in the blink of an eye and none of it mattered when one's life was at stake. Had we not been in a life-threatening situation like the one we were faced with, I am not sure if we would have behaved in the same way that we did, back then, helping one another, talking to one another and giving each other hope. Had it been a normal day, our egos, our prejudices, would have come to play and we would have rushed to find faults with one another at the drop of a hat! However, there were some exceptions though, people who were their selfish, arrogant, greedy and inconsiderate selves, even when they knew their lives as well as the lives of others around them were in peril. If something like a life or death situation could not bring about a change in their ways, then I wonder what possibly could. But after a week-long ordeal, once we reached our homes safely all that remained in our minds was gratitude to all those who had been good to us. Their acts of kindness remained  etched in our hearts and so did they, whereas the acts of hatred as well as the people behind them were quickly forgotten. But the experience left me with several questions that I am still struggling to find answers to. Why is it that we have to wait for a critical situation to be our best selves, why is it that we have to lose something to finally realize the value of what we have lost? Why is it that we can't let go of our egos, our differences, our hatred, when we know that this world would be a much better place without them? Why is there so much greed for money in this world, when we know that we do not take anything with us when we leave this world? 

A couple of days ago, I found myself in a similar situation, though it wasn't as threatening as the floods of Kashmir, it did bring a lot of fear, desperation and helplessness in my life – the recent cyclone Gaja which ravaged several districts of Tamil Nadu including Thanjavur, the district where I work. I had only seen cyclones in movies on T.V and read about them in news, until a few days ago, when I saw and experienced for real, how a cyclone affects the lives of people. The cyclonic storm Gaja started in the wee hours of Friday, 16^th November 2018. Power went off within a few minutes since the winds started blowing heavily and I was finding it difficult to fall asleep, so I opened the doors of my room and came out to the hall of the hostel, where I stay in Thanjavur. What I saw through the grilled doors of the hostel would easily go down as one of the scariest sights of my life, wind was blowing so heavily that even big trees were swaying furiously in the direction of the wind. The winds were so strong, everything around was being hurled around viciously by the wind. Accompanying the winds were heavy rains. The humming sound created by the heavy winds and the rains, it is amongst the most haunting sounds that I have ever heard in my life. It has been many days since I witnessed it, and I am still not able to get that sound out of my head. The sights and the sounds combined to create a sense of utmost terror in my mind. I stood there watching cyclone Gaja wreak havoc on the place that over the past three years had become second home to me – Thanjavur.  

     

After six hours or so, which seemed like an eternity to all of us in Thanjavur, the winds stopped, but it continued to rain. With the loss of power, our struggle for survival began – mobiles went off, laptops went off, water supply stopped, public transport stopped, life pretty much came to a standstill before we knew it. I had enquired the status of all the people whom I interact with as part of work over WhatsApp to check if they were alright and then sent a message home saying that I was safe and they need not worry. I was able to get a few responses, but by the time my phone ran out of charge. What followed was a long wait for things to get back to normal, with my mobile phone gone, I practically had no connection to the outside world, I was not aware of the situation in places other than Thanjavur. I was sitting and waiting when our hostel management sent word to those who were in the hostel that power will not be restored for the next two days, hence the hostel was going to be closed for the next two days. That is when I became aware of the extent of damage that had been caused by the cyclone. Large trees had been uprooted in many places in Thanjavur and electric poles and transmission lines had been damaged. There was no surety as to whether the power supply would be back after two days also. One after the other, hostel inmates started packing their bags and moving back to their homes. I was not sure as to what I would do, I did not have any relatives in Thanjavur or any place nearby. I had no place to go other than my home in Cochin, or no one to go to other than my parents. I knew it was too late to get any train tickets as it was afternoon by the time I got the news. Moreover, I was not sure if any trains or buses were going out of Thanjavur even. With very low hopes, I decided to check if any train tickets were available. I used up every remaining power in my laptop to charge my phone and check for tickets. I was surprised when I saw that there was just one train ticket remaining in the only direct train that connects Thanjavur and Cochin, I felt like I finally found a ray of hope in an otherwise dark day. I booked that ticket and just as I got the booking confirmation message, my phone got switched off again. There were speculations that the train would be cancelled as it starts from Karaikal and travels via Nagapattinam before it reaches Thanjavur and from what I heard from one of my distributors who had called me in the morning, Nagapattinam had been very badly affected by the cyclone. However the train came, after a delay of two hours due to the damages in the track, but it wasn’t cancelled. I boarded the train, left a message to my manager on my phone seeking his permission to be out of Thanjavur for a couple of days and tried to go to sleep, but I couldn’t sleep a wink that night out of the all the frights that the day had given me. The images of the damage that the cyclone had caused which I saw on the way from my hostel to the railway station were etched in my mind. The humming sounds of the winds and the rains, they still echoed in my head. I was finding it hard to fall asleep, I was filled with an inexplicable fear. I longed to be back home, to be with my parents. 

   

Once I reached my home in Cochin and saw the faces that I had been waiting to see, the fear had left me. Having a place to call one’s own is one of the best things in life and having people who will have your back even during the most trying times of your life, a blessing. I sometimes wonder, what I would do had it not been for my parents in life. At the same time, I thought about those people who were now stranded due to the cyclone, I thought about those were away from their families. I thought about all those people who were left homeless by the cyclone, about those whose homes were damaged by the cyclone. I felt sorry for them, I felt angry at life. Why did life have to be so difficult at times? Maybe this is all a master-plan by a greater power than we can comprehend, maybe these are trials to test our faith in God, maybe it is to help us understand and appreciate the value of life, maybe it is all part of God's plan to help us become better human-beings, only time will tell. I was lost in these thoughts when I realized that I had a job to do. I started enquiring about my distributors in Thanjavur, Tiruvarur and Nagapattinam. It was sad news from most parts, the houses of many of their employees had been damaged, there were damages to their offices, power and internet connectivity erratic, but fortunately there were no casualties. Life isn’t that bad, I thought. Once I was done making the enquiries, I sat back and thought about it, the people whom I interact with on a daily basis, apart from those who were in the cyclone affected area, there was not a single message from them enquiring the status of the condition back there. Honestly that was a very sinking feeling and it hurt very badly. I was thinking, maybe I have made a mistake in judging people. I thought that there will be many who will be there with me when I need them, even without me asking. But I was wrong, again. The people who we think are there with us, are they really with us or are they just pretending to be? Honestly, when I look back in life, I find that the people who helped me during the most difficult situations in my life are not those whom I interact with all the time, but they were people, whom I had least expected would be there to help me or anyone for that matter. I was wondering, is there anyone who truly cares about you in this world, other than maybe your parents? Why is it that the world always looks up to people who project themselves as good and shun those who do not follow suit because they don’t believe in showing off or are not looking for any kind of approval from the society that they are good. How does one really know if a person is genuine or fake? 

All these thoughts were running through my mind, but I was a bit relieved that I was safe and so were every other acquaintance of mine in Thanjavur, Tiruvarur and Nagapattinam. I turned on the T.V to know the recent developments on the cyclone, but to my surprise I saw that no channels, regional as well as national, were running any news on the cyclone, but they were busy showing the developments from Sabarimala temple where protests were rampant in connection with the recent Supreme Court verdict that permits women to enter the temple. Suddenly a Hartal had been declared in Kerala and people across Kerala were struggling to get through the day due to the unexpected Hartal. After seeing all the hue and cry over the verdict and the way people were abusing and hurting each other and the way the common man was being made to suffer because of the Hartal, I felt disgusted and switched off the T.V. My mind was in turmoil. I thought to myself, people are just unbelievable! Just a couple of months ago, Kerala had faced a flood that literally brought everyone in the state to their knees. They were struggling for life back then and the differences between people had vanished as everyone helped one another in overcoming, one of the worst crisis that they had perhaps faced in their life time. They were so good to each other, it had taken my faith in humanity to an altogether different level. Now here they were, hardly three months since the floods, fighting against each other, hurting each other, all in the name of religion and politics.  

It’s only natural that my thoughts are a bit clouded now as I recently recovered from a week-long illness that ended on a frightening note with a cyclone, but this emotional turmoil has always been there in my mind. The mystery, the puzzle that is mankind, I had always wanted to unravel this mystery. People confuse me, their behaviour confuses me. At one point, they are all noble and godly, the next moment they are evil personified. Why are people like that? Why is it that people are good at times but evil at other times? Why is it that some people are good all the time whereas some are not? Are there only two kinds of people in this world – the good ones and the bad ones, or does good and bad both coexist in everyone? Is this world just plain black and white, or are there shades of grey in between?

I used to wonder if it is it just me who has questions like these on their minds or are there others who have asked themselves these questions at some point or the other in their lives. The answer is yes, at least that is what I have learnt from the books that I have read. Recently I read ‘The Catcher In The Rye’ by J.D. Salinger and ‘To Kill A Mocking Bird’ by Harper Lee, two books that made me realize that I am not alone, there were many before me who have had similar thoughts about mankind, who had been puzzled by the way mankind is. From these books by great authors and thinkers and from the conversations of the great minds that I admire, I have learnt one thing – people are different and they behave differently at times, but if we really look deep down, people are good. There are a couple of lines, infact they are the closing lines of the book ‘To Kill A Mocking Bird’ that moved me to tears as I read them. The beauty of the lines is that they convey a message that is as simple as it is profound. I am sure that the lines and the message that they convey will stay with me as well as the reader for the rest of their lives.

Quote.

“Atticus, He was real nice”.

“Most people are Scout, when you finally see them”.

Unquote.

I remember reading this article once, in Mathrubhumi newspaper, by Mata Amritanandamayi (lovingly called Amma). In the article Amma was saying that we should always try to look at the goodness of people because when we say that someone is bad, we ourselves are becoming bad. Amma says that there will always be some good in even the most evil of all people. It is this goodness in everyone that one should learn to see, appreciate and nurture.

There have been lot of times in my life when I have been extremely disappointed with someone’s behaviour to me, sometimes it was something they said, and sometimes it was something they did, that caused me a lot of hurt. There are times when I have seen people behave in the most inconsiderate manner that it made me question my very faith in humanity. I have seen rich people exploit the poor and powerful people exploit the oppressed and go on about their lives without the slightest morsel of remorse. I could spend all my life hating such people, but hate never did any good to anyone. Instead of hating them, I started looking at them in a different light. I thought, maybe it is their ignorance or their circumstances, or their upbringing that made them behave that way, or maybe they were actually mean or bad.  As long as I didn’t know the real reason behind their behaviour, it made sense to believe that they are inherently good. Well, there have also been many instances in life where I have been at the receiving end of extraordinary acts of kindness and compassion. I have seen people display utmost honesty and integrity in their acts. 

History stands testimonial to the power of humanity, but it has also witnessed so many acts that would take away one’s belief in humanity. After much thought, I have understood that one cannot just look at this world and the people in it as black and white, there are varying shades of grey too in this world. Life too has its shades of grey, there is happiness, there is sadness and places in between. A world that is all white, a world filled with nothing but goodness, maybe too ideal a concept to wish for. But wish we must and strive we must, in our own small ways to leave this world a better place than it is today. As Amma says, “Try to make others happy, and don’t despair over all the evil in the world. Instead of cursing the dark, let us each light one small lamp”. 

If you wish to light a small lamp in the lives of the thousands in Tamil Nadu who have been affected by the recent cyclonic storm Gaja - ones who have lost their family members, ones who have lost their homes, their belongings, their crops, their life's earnings, you can send in your contributions, small or big to the Chief Minister's Public Relief Funds by following the link below. 

https://ereceipt.tn.gov.in/cmprf/cmprf.html 

The people who have been affected by the cyclone are predominantly from very poor agrarian backgrounds. Thanjavur is known as the "Rice bowl" of Tamil Nadu. We owe a lot to the farmers in Thanjavur, who are the people behind the rice on our tables. Let's get together and help fill their rice bowls again. May Thanjavur and all the other districts in Tamil Nadu that have been affected by cyclone Gaja, return to normalcy soon! 

Love Transcends All Boundaries

The Kerala floods last month had a devastating effect on the state and its people, but what emerged when a whole state submerged, was the power of ‘Humanity’. In the days following the aftermath of the incessant rains and floods in the latter half of the last month in Kerala, emerged stories of human kindness, compassion and unity that was enough to warm the hearts of everyone in rain dampened Kerala. The whole world witnessed how Humanity shone through even as the state was grappling with a disaster that had brought the lives of everyone in the state to a standstill.

Some very heart-warming tales of the champions of humanity from the Kerala floods below:

Fishermen or Super-Men?

As the Kerala Police, Indian Air Force, Indian Army, Indian Navy and NDRF put their full might into rescue operations to help people stranded in flooded areas to safety, they received a back-up rescue team who had no uniforms, but who exhibited the same courage and valour as the officers, to rescue their fellow beings, even as they struggled to make ends meet – The Fishermen of Kerala. What sets their story apart from anyone else’s is that they did it out of their own will, without any compulsion and without expecting anything in return, but just out of their love for the people around them. They were able to rescue much more people than all the service personnel as they were able to go where most personnel could not even reach. One very special moment was when a fisherman offered his back to people to board a rubber boat as they were unable to get into the boat without a platform.

Face of God

One look at the photo below is enough to melt anyone’s heart. The picture of a policeman holding a baby rescued from a flooded area shared by the Twitter handle of Indian Police Service Association, moved many to tears, as the officer was holding the baby as if it were his own, saving it from the pouring rains, even as he was getting completely drenched. If you ever wondered if God exists, one look at the picture is enough to make you believe that God exists – in everyone who has compassion in their heart and if you want to see how He looks like, then you need not look any further than this picture. Undoubtedly one of the most touching images from the Kerala floods.

Angels from the sky

When a pregnant woman in her due date got stranded in her house due to the floods, angels descended from the sky in the form of officers of Indian Navy who airlifted her and flew her to safety where she gave birth to a very healthy baby boy. The Indian Navy and Indian Air Force airlifted many such stranded people who badly needed medical attention and saved several lives during the floods. The commoners who were rescued owed their lives to them, but how do they convey that to the officers who were on back-to-back rescue missions? So , they did this. The officers were in for a very sweet surprise the next day as they started their  rescue work!

The little girl with a big heart

Anupriya, an eight year old girl from Tamil Nadu won hearts across the nation, by her beautiful gesture of kindness and compassion, when she contributed her piggy bank money that she had been saving up to buy a bicycle, to the Kerala distress relief fund. Such a selfless act at such a tender age, Anupriya is a real hero! With children like Anupriya who exhibit such humane characteristics at such a tender age, we can be rest assured that the future of our nation looks very promising. 

Netizens to saviours

From using the Internet for trolling others to using Internet for saving lives, the young netizens of Kerala showed that there is more to them than just memes and trolls. When the entire state was struggling to come to terms with the tragedy that had struck them unexpectedly, these young guns in no time, channelled their networking skills to provide a platform to facilitate relief and rescue operations. Facebook and WhatsApp suddenly turned into control centres – a place for sharing locations of stranded people who needed to be rescued, to pass on important contact numbers, to share details of relief camps, to alert people, to guide them, and to motivate them. Many lives were saved thanks to these sharing platforms and to the tireless efforts of the tech-savvy millennials who put their life into what they do best!

And finally the unsung heroes – You and me, The Common Man.

We came across many stories of heroism, courage, extra-ordinary efforts and compassion during the recent floods in Kerala. We came across stories of many nations, states, organisations and prominent personalities offering help to Kerala in the form of money and resources. They are all heroes, no doubt. However, there are a lot of unsung heroes too , whose acts are no less significant than that of the others. They may not have superior powers or characteristics to talk for hours about, but they too have the spark of humanity in them and it shines through in their actions too. The unsung heroes of the flood - the common man like you and me, who showed that there is a hero in all of us by contributing in whatever small way possible to making a difference in the lives of all those who were affected by the floods in Kerala.

Among those unsung heroes are the IndianOil officers in Kerala State Office, who worked relentlessly during the floods to ensure that our Terminals, Depots, Bottling plants and Aviation Fuel Stations were operating smoothly to provide fuel to the rescue choppers and vehicles and all the relief camps so that rescue and relief operations went on uninterrupted. The families of the officers who had turned their homes into a nodal centre for preparing and dispatching materials to relief camps also deserve a very special mention for their contributions. And so do all the delivery boys, distributors, dealers and Retail Outlet Customer Attendants who went beyond their call of duty to ensure that supply of fuel was not interrupted at any cost, as timely availability of fuel meant saving several lives, at that point of time. 

Well, the above were stories that I had come to know through social media, news, colleagues, friends and family. However, recently I happened to get to know two such stories personally. I was in for a pleasant surprise a few days ago, when I got a call from one of my distributors in Tiruvaur district (one of the districts in my sales area) informing me that all the Indane distributors of the district had collected Rs. 1,00,000 for contributing to the Kerala Chief Minister’s Distress Relief Fund. As their officer, I couldn’t help but feel proud of the fact that there was so much kindness and compassion in them; and as a Keralite, I was extremely touched and moved by their gesture of voluntarily coming forward to help people from a different state. Shortly after that, I came to know that all Indane distributors of Cuddalore district also had already contributed relief materials worth Rs. 1,00,000 to the flood affected people in Kerala. Indane distributors of Trichy area office of IndianOil have always shown great interest in supporting humanitarian causes, of that I was aware, but by extending support to people of a neighbouring state, they have showed that they are “Pehle Indian, Phir Oil”. From all these stories, one thing is very clear – Love knows no boundaries. Love for one’s fellow beings, kindness and compassion, these are emotions that transcend all boundaries. The unprecedented support that Kerala received from all corners of the country and the world, in the past few weeks bears testimony to that.

Indane Distributors of Tiruvarur handing over a D.D of Rs. 1,00,000 towards Kerala CMDRF to The District Collector Tiruvarur, Shri Nirmal Raj (left), Indane Distributors of Cuddalore handing over relief materials worth Rs. 1,00,000 to the Cuddalore District Collectorate (right)

I have just shared with all of you, a few stories of human love and compassion during and after the Kerala floods that I am aware of, but there are so many that I am not aware of, which may be even more heart-warming and inspiring than the ones that I know. May all such stories be told, be shared. May all those heroes and their inspiring acts be celebrated, as they all serve as reminders to many of us, who in this fast paced world of ours, have forgotten that human mind is capable of so much love and compassion and that wonders result when our actions are driven by a mind filled with love and compassion.

On this Teacher’s Day, along with thanking our teachers from school and college, and our mentors at work, let us also thank all these heroes, as they have also taught us precious lessons in humanity, lessons that will stay with us for a lifetime!

The Deluge – Of Distress, Dilemma and Determination

Water, they say, is the elixir of life. But as the popular saying in Malayalam goes “Adhikamayal Amruthavum Visham”, which roughly translates to “If in excess, even nectar is poisonous”; it is both saddening and frightening, that the very life-giving elixir or nectar that is water, can be a destroyer of lives, when it is in excess. This saying could not be more apt to describe the situation that prevails across the state of Kerala now. My home, ‘God’s Own Country’ Kerala, is witnessing the worst rains and floods, ever, in its history and is reeling under the havoc that it has caused. Kerala is battling an enemy that was once its friend. It is battling an element of nature that happens to be the very reason that endears Kerala to almost everyone – “Water”. Yes, water, which has given Kerala its breathtakingly beautiful backwaters, lakes, waterfalls and lagoons; which has given Kerala its beauty, its greenery, and its prosperity.

Heavy and incessant rains in the state over the past many days, have resulted in widespread waterlogging, flooding of rivers and lakes, and landslides across the state affecting almost everyone in the state. Hundreds of lives have been lost, many houses and property has been damaged, and many businesses badly hit. Rains have wreaked havoc across the state, making the lives of people in the state miserable. Rail, road and flight connectivity to certain parts of Kerala have been disrupted – partially to completely in some areas. Power supply is mostly intermittent. Schools have been given holidays, shops and offices shut. A major airport like Cochin International Airport Limited has been closed for an entire week, due to flooding in its runways. Major railway stations and many portions of the railway tracks are entirely submerged. Roads have been damaged and public transport affected. Life has pretty much come to a standstill in Kerala. Yes, it is true, Kerala is witnessing a situation it has never witnessed before in history, and it is one that all of us from Kerala, would never want anyone to face, ever, in their lives. 

There is despair, there is helplessness, there is a sense of fear that is prevalent among all Keralites, and it does not just include those who are living in Kerala, it is also the situation of all Keralites across the world, who are living outside Kerala, but who have friends and family back in Kerala, and who are concerned about the safety and well-being of their dear ones back home. While it is very evident - the distress of those who are in Kerala, the agony of those Keralites who live outside the state is hardly noticed by anyone. Theirs is a dilemma like none other. The very reasons that keep them away from their homes, be it work or career or studies, it is during times like these that they feel that, maybe, they are paying a huge price for putting those reasons above friends and family. You know that back home, things are difficult, but you are totally helpless, because you have a job to do, and you have responsibilities that you simply cannot ignore. As someone who is living away from home for work, I cannot even begin to describe how much it breaks my heart, to not be there for my parents back home in Kerala, during this time. Getting to my hometown of Cochin seems to be a near to impossible task now with air, rail and road connectivity to Cochin completely disrupted. The only solace in all this despair is that telecommunication links are up and hence I keep getting constant updates from them over the phone. If people back home are under both physical and emotional distress, those away from home are only under emotional distress, that’s the only difference. Well, I am not the only one who is in the same situation, as I could see from the desperation on the faces of the friends of mine, Keralites who, like me, are working in Thanjavur, Tamil Nadu, and whose families are back home in Kerala, that the feeling is mutual. I guess, it is the same for all Malayalees who are away from home, irrespective of where they are in this world, everyone is concerned, but at the same time completely helpless.

Yes, this deluge has been one that has caused many of us a lot of distress, but it is also one that has posed a great dilemma of sorts for me, and I guess for Keralites all over the world – of what is more important, development or a perfect harmony with nature or how much development is good development and how much is bad. Some say that at the root of all this destruction caused by rains and floods, is man’s greed for more comforts, convenience, and progress. In the name of urbanization and development, nature has been compromised, there is no denying that. Maybe, this is nature’s way of retaliating to the damage we caused to her. Every time there is a natural disaster of such huge magnitude, the debates on environmentalism and urbanization get triggered and these debates will keep going on, but the important question that goes unanswered every time is, where does one draw the line between the two? How does one strike a perfect balance between development and harmony with nature? One may debate about how building flats and houses by clearing water bodies, has upset the lives of many, but think about a family that finally got a roof over their head or a place to call their own due to that, aren’t their needs justified? But at the same time, how does one console someone who has lost their home to the floods which was perhaps an indirect result of all this rapid urbanization and development. Is there a solution that can guarantee development but not at the cost of nature? I hope we find some answers to these questions, before it is too late.

And as far as Keralites living outside Kerala, like me are concerned, the deluge also poses another dilemma of sorts for us, of what is more important – one’s career, ambitions and aspirations or one’s family. Why is it that even when we are forced to live away from the very people who are the reason why we live, we still choose to do that, be it for earning a living or building a career or any reason whatsoever. Why do we still make the choices that we make, even when we know that it breaks our hearts, each and every time we get up to leave home and each and every time we say ‘Good bye’ to our dear ones. But, in the end is it all worth it, if one cannot be there for their dear ones at a time when they need your support the most. Well, it is a dilemma that I am sure everyone who has stayed away from home, at least once in their lives, would have faced. Some of us live with it, every day.  

However, amidst all this distress and dilemma, if there is something that is very heartening, it is that, this deluge has once again strengthened my faith in humanity. I have been in a similar situation about four years ago, around this time of the year. It was the floods in Jammu and Kashmir in the year 2014 when I and my family got stranded in Jammu and Kashmir due to heavy rains. It was an experience that taught me a lot of lessons in life. The current situation in Kerala, reminds me of those lessons learnt. The floods in Kerala have taught not just me, but everyone affected, the value of life, the unpredictability of life. It has taught us what really matters in life and what doesn’t. It has helped us emerge as better human beings, it has taught us the values of sharing and caring for each other, and of looking beyond caste, colour, creed, and religion. From total strangers offering help to one another to friends and family, who have not been in touch for years, calling each other up to enquire if everything is alright and if anyone needs help, this deluge has united everyone in Kerala. It has also brought out the best qualities in everyone. I am now more assured than ever that there is more love in this world than there is hate. When I see people empathize with all those who have been affected by the floods, shed a tear for them and offer them help, I am reassured that kindness and compassion still hold a major place in people’s hearts. Above all, I find that there is a fierce determination among all Keralites, that nothing will dampen their spirits, neither rains nor floods. Kerala is determined to rise above the situation and I am sure we will emerge victorious.

It is ironic that it is that time of the year in Kerala when it supposed to be at its most beautiful, when Keralites are supposed to be at their joyous best, it is the time for Onam festivities in Kerala now (for those of you who do not know, Onam is a festival celebrated by all Keralites across the world, with great fervour, and it has celebrations and festivities lasting ten days, and during which families gets together and rejoice, to welcome Lord Mahabali who once ruled Kerala and who is believed to come visit Kerala every year during this time to see if everyone in his kingdom is doing well). Every Malayalee has fond memories of Onam, be it the Ona Sadhya (a feast with all special delicacies of Kerala), or Ona Pookkalam (a floral carpet prepared in every home to welcome Lord Mahabali), or that slight drizzle during Onam celebrations that often spoils our Pookkalams and Ona Kodis (it’s a tradition to buy new clothes to wear during Onam, they call these dresses ‘Ona Kodi’ in Kerala). Who would have thought that those friendly drizzles, which add to the beauty of Onam, would be replaced by fierce and incessant rains this time around? I guess, it is destiny. That’s how life is, one has to learn to accept that everyone gets their due share of happiness, and their due share of sadness, in this life. We do not have control over when we get our shares of happiness and sadness, but what we do have control over, is to not let sadness bog us down or happiness make us take life for granted.

It is also during times like these, that one realizes that life is too short to be lived hating or despising one another and holding grudges or regrets. Instead it is to be lived helping one another, being of good cheer and doing good work that benefits everyone around us. Kerala is in need of help and it will take more than just tremendous will power, determination and hard work to help the people of Kerala get back to normalcy. It would require a lot of resources to do so. Hence, if anyone who is reading this, is in a position to help Kerala Government in their flood relief efforts, please make sure to send in your contributions, small or big, to the Kerala Chief Minister’s relief fund, by following the link below. All contributions to the fund are 100% tax-exempted.

https://donation.cmdrf.kerala.gov.in/

However, if you are not in a position to help someone financially, it is fine, you can say a silent prayer for all those who have been affected by the floods, or just speak a word of reassurance to that friend, colleague or acquaintance of yours, who is a Malayalee. I am sure it would make a world of difference to them.

Being a public servant, I have come across many situations in my work life, when people have thanked me and said “God bless You”, in return for some work that I had done for them, as part of my duty, but I used to reply to them with a “Thanks” and tell them that I am just doing my job and I do it without expecting anything in return – be it praise or blame, rewards or recognitions. But now, I do feel that I could use some of those blessings, to help keep those who are back home, and it is not just my friends and family, but everyone in Kerala, safe and sound, especially those officers of Kerala Police, Kerala State Electricity Board, Indian Navy, Indian Air Force, National Disaster Response Force, local administration and all volunteers, who are braving all odds and risking their lives to save those in distress. Let us all unite in prayer for Kerala, let us pray that Kerala emerges from this deluge, more determined and strong. Let us pray that everyone in Kerala comes out of this situation more brave and courageous, more humble and thankful, more mindful and helpful, and above all else, more kind and human.

Equations for life from ‘The Gita’: The Gates to Hell

A life beyond this life, well, I am not very certain about that, if there awaits us a “heaven” or “hell” after life as we know it. However, I do believe that there is “heaven” and “hell” in this life itself, and of that I am certain. It’s entirely up to us, how we want our life on earth to be – like heaven or like hell.

Trust the Bhagavad Gita to give you answers to how one can avoid the misery of hell in this life and afterwards. According to the Gita there are three gates that lead to hell. And it can be very well summarized by the below equation.

Hell is a union of ‘Lust’, ‘Anger’ and ‘Greed’. If anyone has any one of these qualities, then they can be rest assured of a place in hell after-life. I am not sure about “after-life” part, but I am sure that their life on earth would also be no different to hell, because all three are qualities that ruins one’s peace of mind and are sure to guarantee a hell on earth.

Lust and greed for materialistic things, often leads to huge disappointments, quarrels and losses. History stands testimonial to the fact that lust and greed end in great misery. So many wars were fought in man’s desire for more and so many lives lost and irreparable damages caused. However, even now I find that many have not learnt lessons from the past. Increasing stories of cruelties committed in the name of lust and greed appearing in the news makes me think, why do some people not understand that they are inviting hell into their lives. Those who have lust and greed often lead miserable lives. Even if they manage to get what they lust or greed for, they still would not be happy, for they fear losing it and worse still are never really satisfied with what they get. They are never content. As a result of their never ending desire for more, their world is one filled with chaos and is no different from hell. Whereas if we look at the life lead by someone who is always content with what he/she gets and is not greedy for more, we find that they are always at peace and happy. For such people, this world itself is equivalent to heaven. Lust and greed are two gates which I will never find myself in, as I am very content, a trait which I have inherited from my parents and grandparents, who I find to be the most content people on earth. However it is the third gate that I am trying to avoid, but have not been able to completely avoid – Anger.

Greed and Lust were something that I knew would make life miserable, but there was one thing which I was not aware of which was equally bad for one’s peace of mind – the third gate to “hell”, Anger. Had it not been for the Bhagavad Gita, I would never have known that Anger too is a gate to hell. It always amazes me, when I see some people maintain their calm during arguments, even when they know they are right and others are wrong. How someone can stay unperturbed even in situations that can make a “Hulk” out of the calmest persons, is something which is beyond me. I am someone who has had problems with controlling anger and I guess that is also why ‘Hulk’ happens to be my favourite super hero; I can relate with the “You won’t like me when I am angry” part, indeed. Although the instances when I lose my temper are very rare, when it happens, it often is very bad.

Off-late, I have realised that anger is self-consuming. When one is angry at someone, one often ends up hurting oneself more than the other person. It overpowers ones senses and makes everything a blur, and the results – taking wrong decisions, doing or saying things that permanently damage relationships, and stress! Anger is beyond doubt a contributor to making life miserable. Though I have slowly started making conscious attempts at controlling my anger, I cannot say that I have completely mastered the art of keeping cool. However, nowadays, I handle situations that make me angry much better than I used to earlier and that is an improvement. It won't be long before I completely get rid of the green monster in me, of that I am confident! I have learnt that sometimes in life, it makes sense to let go, to forget and forgive and move on, especially when it comes to choosing how one wants life to be – like heaven or like hell, and I choose the former.

We only live once, and we have the power to make our lives better or worse, by the choices we make. Saying no to things like lust, anger and greed or for that matter anything that takes a toll on one’s peace of mind, can surely guarantee a life that is heaven on earth itself, and if there is a life after death, then there too!

Wander-Lust? Wander-Must !!

Dedicated to all those who love travelling!

“All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go”, the opening lines of the popular song “Leaving on a jet plane” could very well describe the past ten weeks of my life. Well, wait, it could very well describe the past ten years of my life also. Thanks to my “overly” over-protective parents, up to the age of 21, the number of places that I had been to, definitely had not gone beyond a single digit number. The world that I knew of, was limited to the confines of the city of Cochin, not that I was complaining, because I was (and still am!) truly, madly, deeply in love with Cochin. However life changed completely after I graduated from engineering college. 

Taking up that dream I.T job meant moving away from Cochin. So, the time had come, for me to make that move from home, from family, from Cochin, to a city that was completely strange to me. My parents too realized that it was inevitable; it was high time they let their daughter move out of the comfort zone of her home. And so began my journey, at the age of twenty-one. It has been ten years since I began my journey from Cochin, and the journey is still going on. There have been so many significant pit-stops in the journey, so many places that I had been to, with each place leaving an indelible mark on my mind. There were so many people that I met in the journey with whom I shared so many stories – some happy, some sad, but when I look back, I realize that the journey so far has been awesome and I hope that it will be even more awesome, in the years to come!

The last ten years of my life have been, beyond any doubt, the most eventful years of my life and they have also been the years that taught me some of the most important lessons of life, and a large part of that learning was thanks to the various places that I had been to and the different people that I had the chance to meet. For someone who dreaded the very thought of being away from Cochin, life kept taking me one place after another - changing jobs, acquiring a new degree, and then travelling for leisure; travelling had become an essential part of my life. Over the course of the last ten years, I do not know when I went from someone who despised the very thought of travelling to one who couldn’t contain her excitement at the thought of travelling. I guess, it was inevitable, being bit by the “travel-bug”, as “Wanderlust” was always in my genes, thanks to my father who totally loves travelling. It’s just that it took me a long time to realize that I was born with it.



The one who I owe my love for travel to, among many other characteristics - my Father!

School and college had prepared me for what I should expect from life, however it is the experiences outside school and college that taught me how to take on life, how to enjoy life and most importantly, how to appreciate differences! Living in different places taught me the art of adapting to situations. It taught me to appreciate and respect various cultures. For someone like me, with an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, travelling is the one thing that  has helped me be more comfortable with change, to be more accepting of new places and people. I realized that unless we fall in love with the place that we are in, unless we truly care about the people of the place, we can never truly feel at home in a new place. In all my experiences with travelling to new places, I have always made a conscious effort to get to know the place and its people, and it has always served me well.

There has been no journey which did not teach me some lesson in life. Every journey in life, has been an experience to reckon with. Off-late, the frequency of the journeys in my life have gone up. As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, the last ten weeks of my life saw me in a constant “travelling mode”. It all began with a tour of three districts of Tamilnadu – Thanjavur, Tiruvarur and Nagapattinam (which are now my second home), in connection with work. Though I keep travelling across the three districts regularly, this time I had to go to places in the districts that I did not even know existed. It was an experience that made me realize that there is so much to see and explore around us, even in the places that you take for granted that you are familiar with!

Then it was a trip to the “Amazing” country of “Thailand”, for a vacation. It was an experience that completely changed my perception of hospitality. Now I know why Thailand is one of the most tourist-friendly countries in the world. “Land of Smiles”, they call it, and it truly is. I hardly found any angry face, or a face with a frown there, all I could see around me were smiling faces. Those who are in hospitality sector, are required to smile, as their profession demands it. But it is amazing that even the public there exhibits the same behaviour, even though it isn’t expected of them. It’s a lesson that will stay with me for life - “Smile”. Something as simple as a smile, has the power to make even the worst of your enemies soften a little, it has the power to prevent arguments and fights, it has the power to make people like you, almost instantly, and the best part is - it is highly contagious! Smile at someone and they have no other choice but to return the smile, with a smile!

Another important lesson I learnt from my experience in Thailand, is from our tour guide, Mr. Mango (for those of you who are thinking it’s his pet name, no, it’s his real name!). He was a gem of a person, someone in his early fifties, but he is undoubtedly one of the most tech-savvy persons that I have met in my life. I have met many people of his age group who use their age as a reason to avoid learning anything closely related to technology, and here was one person who was even smarter than kids half his age, only because of his constant efforts to keep learning! However, it is not the only thing that I liked about him. Mr. Mango was not very comfortable with speaking English and many tourists in our tour group used to take digs at him for his English. However, he always replied to their rebukes with a warm smile and a “Kop Khun Khrap” (Thai for “Thank you”). It is something we can all practice in life. When someone rebukes you, lets you down, instead of picking up a fight with them, why not just smile and walk away! It could prevent so many unnecessary fights, tensions, and the best part is it will leave the person who insulted you totally puzzled by your reaction and maybe even rethink doing that once again! Well, Thailand was an experience that helped me end the last year on a positive note, what with the blessings of The Buddha, (actually two big Buddhas at the beautiful temples of Wat Pho and Wat Traimit) and also take on the New Year with a warm smile! I also got to strike off one item from my "bucket-list": Parasailing - Check!!

Mr. Mango - our amazing tour-guide & host in Thailand

All set to jump off the edge of a boat!!

Into the New Year, I found myself travelling even more, the first week took me to the holy shrines of Velankanni Matha in Nagapattinam and Poondi Matha in Thanjavur, in connection with work. Couldn’t have asked for a better start to the year! Next it had me travelling to Villiavarambal village of Kumbakonam, where I was able to be a part of one of the Corporate Social Responsibility initiatives of our company, which was an eye-opening experience for me, as I realized that we can do so much for the betterment of people around us, if only we had the time to pause and take a look around. Each and every one of us had the power to transform lives, but somehow in this busy life of ours, we tend to overlook that fact. The experience did make me rethink and I decided that I would do whatever is in my capacity to make a difference, even if it is a small one.



Shri R. Sitharthan, The Executive Director - Tamil Nadu State Office, Indian Oil Corporation Limited and Shri Pradeep Kumar, I.A.S, The District Sub-Collector, Thanjavur at the inauguration of IndianOil's CSR initiative at Villiavarambal village, Kumbakonam

Right after that was, the most eventful experience of the year so far – a road trip from Thanjavur to Chennai and Pondicherry and back, all alone! The trip definitely goes down as a milestone in my driving experience. Though it was an official trip, I had lots of fun on this one! It was one of the most unforgettable driving experiences of mine, both in good and bad ways! Firstly, the good one – the drive from Chennai to Pondicherry along the East Coast Road, the breathtakingly beautiful coastline of Tamil Nadu, it was an experience of a lifetime! Onto the bad ones, well, there were many, like losing my way inside the city (multiple times!), almost driving off to the Tamilnadu-Karnataka border, almost running over a cow, a pedestrian (I would rather go with the term “Zombie” as she was crossing the road absolutely unconcerned about what was going on around her), a motor-cyclist who had a sudden change of mind as to changing lanes and in the hurry couldn’t find the switch to the indicators on his scooter! And yes, how can I not mention this one – being stuck in traffic for what seemed like an eternity. After the trip to Chennai, my faith in God has increased manifold, as has my faith in humanity, hats off to the people of Chennai for staying so sane and so human, despite dealing with a traffic that can drive any sane person insane in an instant. Thanks to the Chennai trip, I have also learnt a very interesting way of dealing with pressures at work, anytime I feel that work is too much pressure, all I have to do is think about the traffic police of Chennai, and my work seems like a walk in the park. Trust me, next time you are frustrated with work, just imagine yourself as a traffic cop in a busy junction, somewhere in Chennai, and be assured your work woes will melt away like ice.

The most recent trip of mine had been a trip to the beautiful hill station of Ooty, again in connection with work. It, unlike other official trips of mine, was not a solo one, it was with a group of colleagues. Travelling with them helped me understand and appreciate them much better than any interaction at office ever had. I also got an opportunity to bond better with my team, during the course of the trip. That is the interesting thing about travelling to new places, it brings a new lease of life into relationships, it helps you look at things from a brand new perspective, and it helps you become a better person.

Indane Distributors of Thanjavur, Thiruvarur and Nagapattinam districts with Shri R. Sitharthan, The Executive Director - Tamil Nadu State Office, Indian Oil Corporation Limited and other management officials at the Annual Indane Distributors Convention 2018 at Ooty

I have come across many people who say that travelling is an extravagance, it’s splurging, it’s an indulgence. Well, some like to look at travelling like that, guess they are the ones who take the “lust” in “Wanderlust” a little too seriously. But for those who love travelling, it is a way of life, it is therapy, it is a way of rejuvenating themselves, of discovering themselves. One doesn’t have to splurge, or take off on long vacations to exotic destinations to enjoy travelling. Sometimes all you need, is a just a long late-night drive in your car – got some good music for company - perfect; loved ones beside you - heaven!! Travelling works like magic on your body and soul, it can make all your worries, all your weariness, disappear in an instant.  Whenever I feel lonely or miss home, or whenever I am tired after a long day at work, I go out for a long drive, and then I don’t feel lonely anymore, I don’t feel tired anymore. I always come back from the long drive, happy and rejuvenated. Those who love driving would know, happiness is just a long drive away! Travelling also helps you, when you are perplexed, when your mind is not clear, when you want to find answers to questions that have been bothering you. Go on a road trip and you can be assured that you will find answers to all those questions. Travelling lets you see things more clearly!

Well, this Valentine’s day, I just want to say “Cheers” to all those who love travelling. May our love affair with travelling stay strong, as always. May life present us with more and more opportunities to sing “All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go”, or even better "Muzafir hoon yaaron". May life take us places that take our breath away, and if life doesn’t present such opportunities, let’s create some ourselves J  And to all those who are yet to fall in love with the spirit of travelling, do not hesitate to pack your bags and head out, next time an opportunity to travel knocks your door, because my friend, it is never too late to realize that wander is no lust, it is a must!

Confessions of a Workaholic

Let me tell you a story about (no prizes for guessing this one, the title is a give-away!) a self-confessed “Workaholic”. So our workaholic stays miles away from her parents, who mean the world to her. It breaks her heart not to be with them often, but she loves her job (or so she thinks, when in fact it’s not love but an obsession). So one long weekend, she decides to go home to be with her family. She was up early that morning for her work and she was working all throughout the day, attending phone calls, answering e-mails, doing inspections, travelling, just like any other day at work, but she still made sure that she reached the railway station an hour in advance to board the train that would take her home. Being the perfectionist that she is, she just could not stand the thought of being late for a train, worse still, missing it. So there she was, checking the display board, though she knew the exact platform on which the train always comes (perfectionists are always in need of reassurance!). She reached the platform for the train. A train was there at the platform to her surprise, as that train should have ideally left by then. Since it wasn’t her train, she just ignored it and found herself a nice bench, kept her luggage aside and sat on the bench absorbing the sights and the sounds of the railway station.

She was going home after a very long time, more than a month had passed since she last went home. What would anyone be feeling at that time – happiness, anticipation, excitement, pretty much all the emotions that one normally associates with going home, right? However our protagonist is different (or outright stupid?). She is lost in thoughts. No, it wasn’t about her parents back home who were eagerly waiting for their daughter to come home. She was lost in thoughts about her day at work – the things that were not in place at work, how she could bring about a difference, what had to be done to make things better, the way she wanted it. She glanced at her watch, there was almost an hour left for her train to arrive. She thought, why not get some work done during this one hour and opened her laptop. As it usually happens with her when she opens her laptop for work, she got drawn into the world of work created by Microsoft Office – MS Outlook and Excel luring her away from the hustle and bustle of the railway station to the world of emails, excels and data. She could see people around her – passengers and tea/coffee vendors, she could hear their noises and the announcements on the railway PAS, but she was neither observing nor listening. All she could think of, was her work. She had turned that bench on the platform into a mini workstation for herself. She remained absorbed in her work, her phone and laptop, when suddenly she got a call on her phone.
 

It was her mother who was on the phone. Suddenly the virtual workplace gave way to a very silent platform, she could see that the train on the platform was gone, the hustle and bustle of passengers and vendors was not there anymore and there were no announcements on the PAS either. She answered the phone, her mother was enquiring if she boarded the train and whether the train was on time. She looked at her watch, it was half an hour past the scheduled departure time of the train. She had totally lost track of time, more than an hour had passed since she had arrived at the station. She answered that the train hadn’t arrived yet and she was still waiting for it. However, she realized that something was not right, she got up from the bench and looked around; the platform was isolated. She told her mother that she would go to the enquiry and find out. She disconnected the call, closed her laptop, put it back in her bag and walked to the enquiry. All the while, she could sense that something was terribly wrong, she hurried past and first looked at the display boards. No, the name of her train was not being displayed. The first shock. She went to the enquiry, asked the officer about the status of her train. He said that it arrived right on time and left the station thirty minutes ago. The second shock, and this one hurt her real bad. She said that it was not possible, as she had been waiting in that platform for more than an hour and the train had not passed by. The officer was also quite baffled, he checked with another officer, who told him that today the train arrived at a different platform and it was announced several times over the PAS that the train was arriving on the other platform. She just could not believe her ears. She had missed the train, even after having reached the station an hour in advance, even after being on the correct platform (at least as per the display board!). Her phone was ringing, it was her mother who was calling, she didn’t know what to tell her, her parents had been waiting for her to come home and it would break their hearts to know that she had missed the train and would not be coming home, all because she couldn’t give work a break even for an hour. Her eyes were welling up and her voice was choking as she answered the call and told her mother that she had missed the train. She could sense the disappointment in her mother’s voice and she just couldn’t bear it. When the call was over, she looked at her phone, her official WhatsApp group was abuzz, new mail notifications kept coming, but none of that made sense to her anymore. For the first time in her life, she realized that maybe she made a great worker at the workplace, but she sure was a failure as a daughter. The tears that she had been holding back for long found their vent, she cried her heart out that day.

 

So, that’s the story of the workaholic who missed a train, because of her dedication to work? No, because she was so obsessed with her work that she could not even take note of what was happening around her. It serves as a good lesson for (a) how not to miss a train and (b) how not drawing boundaries between work and personal life can get one in deep trouble. Well, what do you feel for the protagonist – do you feel sorry for her or do you feel that she was outright stupid, well you can definitely let me know in your comments, because the protagonist happens to be me. Yes, I will probably go down in history as the first person to have missed a train even after having reached the station an hour in advance! It is not something I am proud of and there is a very high chance that I am probably the only one to have accomplished such a feat.  

I have always taken a lot of pride in being a “Daddy’s girl”. He is to me the epitome of hard work, honesty, dedication and utmost sincerity to work. I imbibed almost all his characteristics including his dedication to work. From the time I started working, I remember I had been extremely attached to work, however off-late, I feel like I maybe overdoing it, a little bit (or a lot?). I feel like I maybe crossing that fine line that separates dedication from obsession. The first real shock had been the train incident. It was an incident that made me feel that, while I was doing my duty as an officer, I may have forgotten my duties and responsibilities as a daughter. Even while going home to meet my parents (after a long time), all I could think of was work and not about how I can make the most of my time at home with my parents. The second shock came just a few weeks later. I was in an ATM to withdraw some money, I had entered the PIN and the amount to withdraw and was waiting for the cash to come out of the machine, when my phone rang. It was a call from office. I was talking on the phone while I was inside the ATM, I took the receipt and my card and walked out of the ATM, all the while I was still on the call. I got into my car and disconnected the call and drove off. After driving for a distance, I realized that something was wrong. I stopped the car and checked my wallet. The card was there, the receipt was there, but there was no cash. I had collected the card and the receipt from the ATM, but I had not taken the money. I couldn’t wait for a U-turn, hence I parked my car and ran back to the ATM, but there was no money there. I had lost the money. The second shock! I will probably be the first and the only one to have accomplished this feat too! It took me a while to recover from this second shock, but I took a vow that day, that I will never use my phone while I am in an ATM. Several days passed, before I got the third shock. I wanted to go to the railway station one day and I decided to take an auto. I got into the auto and when the driver asked me where I wanted to go, I said “Trichy Area Office”, which by the way is the name of my office. The driver was shocked, so was I. “Railway station please, I am sorry”, I said and sat there thinking what was happening to me.
 

I have always wondered why some people are the way I am, why is it that some people are attached to work to the point that it becomes an obsession for them, but I have not been able to find any convincing answer to that. Guess, some people are hard-wired like that and they just cannot change it. Such people get lot of accolades at work for their hard-work and dedication, but there are colleagues who just cannot stand the sight of them. It’s no wonder that such people are almost always isolated at work. Most often, they are isolated by their friends and family too, as they are mostly unable to take time out of work for them. They have to deal with isolation outside of work also! They find solace in work and hence immerse themselves even more deeply in work. But it’s only when someday, like me, they miss a train, they will realize, that they are missing out on a lot of things in life.

It took me a missed train to realize that there is more to life than just my job. Yes, my job was an integral part of my life, something that made me proud about myself, something that gave me great joy. But the joy and satisfaction that I got from  my job would all be meaningless if I couldn’t share that joy with the ones who mattered the most in my life, the ones who loved me and cared for me, even when I hardly knew what a job meant. It would be meaningless, if I could not take time out to pursue my other interests in life like writing, travelling and music or I couldn’t take time out to read a book or watch a movie, things that made me happy.  Yes, I loved my job very much, but it could never complete me. My family, my friends, my passions, they were all necessary to complete me. I would be upset, but I would never cry over a bad appraisal, but I did cry over a missed train and at the thought of not been able to be home with my family. A reprimand from my boss would hurt, but not as much as the slightest change of tone in my parent’s voice when they disapprove of something that I did. No amount of appreciation or accolades at work would parallel the “We are proud of you” from my parents. No appraisal or pay hike can beat the happiness that I get when my Mother tells me that I am the best. As an officer, I get to make a difference in the lives of many people of my country on a daily basis and it gives me immense pride and satisfaction, but I get an almost similar satisfaction when what I write makes someone feel better, makes someone smile or makes someone think. I love making power point presentations as much as I love watching movies. Learning something new at work excites me as much as travelling to a place that I have never been to. I knew that I had to draw a line between my work and my personal life, but where do I begin? It was a very difficult task.
 

After much thought, I have now come to terms with the fact that work will always be a part of my life, a priority which will get my undivided attention and devotion when I am at it, but I have also made up my mind that, I will never let work keep me away from the other things that matter to me like my family, my friends and my passions. As they say, “You only live once”. The train of life comes just once, and if you miss it, you miss out on a very beautiful journey. The beauty of the journey is in the people who you share the ride with. The joy of having reached the destination is only when you know that the very people are still with you when you arrive. So here is to all those are working away on their laptops and mobiles, who are too busy running the rat-race of life – Pause, take a break, call up your parents or teachers or that old friend of yours, whom you haven’t spoken to in a while, go watch that new movie starring your favourite actor, renew that old passion that you had back in college, or go backpacking, do all that you want to do “NOW, RIGHT NOW”, before it is too late, before you realize that you’ve missed the train!

P.S: Thanks to Premium Tatkal, I made it home one day after the day I missed the train; off course the long weekend became a short weekend by then, but I still made it up to my parents. In life however, there are no "Pemium Tatkals" that can save us, so, all I want to tell all workaholics out there is, "Don't miss that train!" :-)  

Equations for life from 'The Gita': Misery and Attachment

The Bhagvad Gita and Mathematics make a great combination. Combine the lessons from the book and some simple maths, and you get equations that can change your entire perspective towards life. In the first post of the series - Equations for life from 'The Gita', we looked at the formula for happiness. Here is presenting the second post in the series, which is about the relationship between 'Misery' and 'Attachment'.

 

 

What does everyone dread meeting the most in their pursuit of happiness – sorrow, sadness, misery? The Bhagvad Gita not only gives us lessons on how to lead a happy life, but it also teaches us ways to avoid misery in life. Just as the formula for happiness is simple, the formula for misery is also simple. Well, none of us want to be miserable in life, do we? Then, look no further than the below formula for leading a life without misery.

 

 

If one does a Root Cause Analysis of all things that makes life miserable, one will find that at the root of all that misery and sorrow will be "attachment". When one is attached to things, their absence disturbs them and that in turn leads to frustration and eventually sorrow and misery.

 

In our lives, we often tend to get closely attached to certain things. Let's take an example, work for instance. On the one end of the spectrum, we have self-proclaimed “workaholics” who are obsessed with work, and at the other end of the spectrum we have those who totally detest working, often because they are attached to lethargy or laziness. If we look at the lives of people from both ends of the spectrum, we can find that the lives of both are equally miserable.  Too much attachment to work often wears people out, they miss out on other things in life like following their passion, making time for themselves or their families, in a nutshell, the life of "workaholics" is quite miserable. Those who don’t like working, always complain about having to work, crib often about their work, office, colleagues, bosses, so on and so forth, and derive no happiness in work, the end result - a miserable life! Whereas if you look at those in the middle of the spectrum, those people who neither detest working nor obsess about it, they will mostly be the happiest lot of all. The 'funda' is actually quite simple, wherever there is attachment, there is fear and expectations - fear of losing out on something, and expectations of a reward or benefit, so when we lose that something or when our expectations fail, we just cannot take it.

 

Take anything materialistic, say, food, smoking, alcohol, drugs, money, power, success, pretty much anything under the sun, when one is attached to them, one’s life becomes miserable. It’s just not restricted to materialistic things, too much attachment to habits, people, places – all of it leads to misery. The key is to find a right balance, the right amount of attachment and detachment.

 

The perfect state that one can aspire for, is similar to that of a water drop on a lotus leaf; the drop is very much there, yet it is totally unattached. That’s the best approach to lead life. The less attached we are to things, the less is our misery. Detachment is the key, and anyone who has learnt to master the art of total detachment, is never miserable in life. Well, the sate of complete detachment is something which will take a lot of self-control and practice to master, but it is a state which is worth aspiring for, if one wants to lead a life free of misery. However until we reach that ideal state, it is best to have minimal attachment to things in life – both materialistic and non-materialistic. There is a proverb in Malayalam, which captures this very well – “Adhikamayal Amruthum Visham", which roughly translates to, “In excess quantities even nectar can be poisonous”, in English. Everything is good, provided it is within limits, even attachment too. The lower your attachment, the lower is your misery, and the more your happiness. Sometimes in life, it’s as they say, “Less is more”.

So on this  auspicious occasion of Dussehra, here is wishing everyone a joyful life, completely devoid of misery; let's burn the 'Raavan' of 'Misery' and welcome happiness in our lives, and now you know the formulas that can make it happen!