Of living life between "Hi"s and "Goodbye"s

“All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players, they have their exits and entrances”, so began the play ‘I don’t like it: As you like it’ in Prithvi theatre, Mumbai. The play, directed by Rajat Kapoor, had various instances that made the audience look back and introspect at life and moments that made the audience think about what one actually wants in life, but for me the defining moment had to be the initial sentence of the play, taken from the very popular monologue from the play ‘As you like it’ by William Shakespeare. It triggered off myriad thoughts in my mind, thoughts of life, of people who came into my life at various stages, and most importantly of the ones that left. It got me thinking, “Isn’t life just a long series of events interspersed with chance encounters and farewells?”

It’s strange how it takes just a “Hi” to start relationships, but it takes more than a “Goodbye” to end them. I wonder, if it’s a given that people who come into your life are bound to leave at some point of time or the other, then why is it that every farewell is laden with tears, why is it that when some people leave, they leave tugging at ones heartstrings?

When I look back at life, I realize that I have had a fair share of teary farewells in my life, while some people left with a promise to stay in touch, some left without any such assurance and some left forever, but with an unspoken promise to meet in another world, perhaps. As much as I hated the thought of farewells, life kept taking me places and I found myself saying more Goodbye's than Hi's all the time. Off-late my life has been about very short encounters and abrupt farewells, by now I feel I should have gotten used to saying “Good bye”, however each farewell leaves me teary-eyed and down. Then again life happens and the daily trials and tribulations of life fills up the voids created by farewells and life goes on as usual, but nothing, not even time can take away completely the memories of people dear to us, can they?

I always believed that I had built this invisible wall around myself, the entry into which was restricted only to those who were very close to me. It was in my opinion, a measure to protect myself from the misery of a broken trust or a relationship gone sour. However with time, I realized that the walls had begun to crumble and I had let in more people than I had intended to and when anyone left, it hurt. The irony of it all is that, if saying that initial “Hi” to that person was difficult, saying “Goodbye” was even more difficult.

Recently I was reading the novel ‘Guide’ by R.K.Narayan. There is a character Joseph in the novel who tells the protagonist of the novel Raju that he only does his duty of providing his guests with all that they require during their stay at his place, unconcerned about their blame or praise. If we were to look at our lives this way it makes sense, because aren’t we also like Joseph for the guests who are the people who come into our lives. If we consider the people who come into our lives as guests, our aim should be to give our best to them, be it our time, our support or our love and affection, but not to expect anything back in return, and not to get attached to them. In that way, we can protect ourselves from the pain of them not sharing the same feelings that we have for them, or them leaving us. A lot of people come into our lives, while some give us memories of a lifetime, some give us not so pleasant ones, while some help us become better human beings, some give us a chance to help them become better human beings, but in the end once their role in our life is over, they leave, sometimes with a promise to return, sometimes forever. It is only when we get attached to them, it brings us misery. All that I have read and understood from books by great minds, all that I have learnt from my experience, tells me to not get attached to people or places, however in the battle between the head and the heart, seldom does the head win.

It is an ideal condition to wish for, one where someone is totally detached and devoid of attachment to anyone, but I am not sure how one can attain that state or if it can ever be attained. Until then, let the cycle of encounters and farewells continue, let me still shed tears at every farewell, but let me be able to tell everyone who came into my life, “Yes, I will miss you” from the bottom of my heart, let me be able to tell them that I have tried to make their life better in every way possible, but may have failed at times and for which I am extremely sorry; let me be able to tell them that I am thankful for all the memories, bitter or sweet, that they have given me and that I will cherish them always, and that this farewell is but a short hiatus till we meet again sometime, in this life or another.   

 

Undefeated

“Failure is the stepping stone to success” – My first tryst with this age old adage was many years ago, when I was in school. It was the moral studies class in school and we students were all ears to our teacher as she taught us this lesson in moral science. Back then, for us, it was just a sentence which we had to learn by-heart to get good grades in the moral studies class. However, years later, after a fair share of victories and defeats in life, I realized the significance of that sentence in my life.

There have been countless instances where I met with failure in life;however there are three which I believe are the ones that have had the greatest impact in my life and which I feel are worth sharing with everyone. Each of them belongs to three different phases of my life.

At School: That first encounter with failure

As a student in school, I always excelled in studies. My interest in learning coupled with my perseverance kept translating into good grades year after year at school. My parents and teachers were proud of me and they were confident that I would ace all the exams I gave. Life was going great for me, until the tenth board exams happened. The much revered (and equally dreaded) board exams were considered to be the deciders of the future course of our lives. Like all students, I too was nervous, but my greatest fear was not that of failing the exam, but something else. My parents and teachers were sure that I would not only pass the exam, but also secure one of the top ranks in the exam. I studied, much harder than I ever had in all my years in school, and gave my board exams. I passed the exam with very good marks, but my marks were not good enough to make it to the top ranks. After being the topper of every class, year after year at school, I failed at a juncture where it mattered to me the most. I felt that all my efforts had been in vain, I had disappointed everyone who believed that I was capable of something more than just passing the exam. Angry, disappointed, dejected, I prayed for a miracle to turn back time so that I could fix whatever it was then went wrong with the way I gave my exams. With much pain, I realized that I had lost the opportunity forever and there was nothing I could do to change that. I had passed the exam, but I had failed – failed my parents, failed my teachers, and failed myself. It was the first of the many encounters that I was to have with failure later on in life.

At the First job: When starry-eyes turned moist

Ranks kept eluding me even after school. I graduated from engineering college with a distinction, but no rank, yet again! However I had no reason to be sad, because I had managed to make it into one of my dream companies, during the campus placements in college. I was elated at the idea of becoming a part of the company that I had always dreamt of working with. I remember the first day in office when we, the company’s new recruits, the ‘crème de la crème’ of the best engineering colleges in South India, took our first steps into the corporate world. We were a group of starry-eyed youngsters, fresh out of our engineering colleges, hoping to make a brilliant start to our career. All of us worked hard to complete the three month long training program with flying colors. However on the day of completion of the training period, we were told that our training period had been extended and that we were to go through more evaluations in the coming days, the performance in which, would eventually decide our future in the company. “Recession” – a term that we had only heard about till date, had become a reality. Our company was badly affected by the recession in the year of 2008. The company was not in a position to on-board all the recruits at the end of the extended training period, so they decided to retain the top few recruits and lay-off the rest, and I belonged to the latter. The truth that I had lost my job had not dawned on me, until one of the H.R team members asked us to enter our resignations in the company portal on that last day in office. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that my career had ended even before it had actually begun. With moist eyes and a heavy heart, I entered my resignation in the employee portal. I felt that my life had suddenly come to a standstill. That starry-eyed girl who had dreams of reaching great heights in her career was lost; she had fallen into a deep abyss of despair. 

After M.B.A: When life changed

The year was 2013 and the venue was my M.B.A College. I was attending the interview for the post of Management Trainee in one of the leading Telecom Operators in the country . My interview went well. My joy knew no bounds when I came to know that I had been selected for the job. After completing my M.B.A, I joined the company. We trainees spent the first few months in the organization learning and working on internal projects. However the real work began, when we were assigned to various districts in Kerala. I was assigned to a district that was far from home, which meant that I had to stay away from home. Just when I had begun to accept the new place and its people, I was assigned my new role of a Service Center Coordinator. The role required me to handle the service related aspects of various franchisee owned service outlets in the zone. It involved managing collection, reducing churn, improving C-SAT (Customer Satisfaction), ensuring showroom profitability, reducing complaints, increasing walk-ins, driving sales of products and services, among many other responsibilities which were not included in our job responsibilities, but which we were expected to do. A few days into the job, I realized that I totally disliked my job. After completing my M.B.A, I was expecting a job that would be all about doing analysis, making power point presentations and being part of strategic decision making discussions, and here I was standing with folded hands in front of irate customers and disgruntled franchisees hurling abuses at me. I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my first job after an M.B.A was a far cry from what I had imagined it would be. With a total lack of interest in the job, I felt like a spent force, towards the end of a year into the job. I felt that I had failed again in life; despite of having worked so hard during my M.B.A I had ended up in a job, that least interested me.

Well, those were the three stories of my encounters with failure, which I wanted to share with everyone. Every encounter with failure hurt, however each of them taught me a lesson that would help me get the better of failure later on in life. I would like to share ten such lessons that I learnt from life, and which I like to call my ‘Ten Commandments for staying Undefeated’. 

Lesson #1: Do not fear failure

Many years since school, I analysed what went wrong with my tenth board exams. I realized that my failure was not due to lack of effort, as I had put in more effort than usual in my tenth grade. If there was one factor that differentiated my tenth grade from all other years at school, it was the burden of expectations that my parents and teachers had thrust upon me. They expected me to get top ranks in the exam. The fear of failing to live up to their expectations, put me under tremendous pressure, during the exams. In the end, the fear of failure got the better of me and I failed to achieve what I had wanted to achieve very badly – a rank in the exam. It took me years to realize the fact that the fear of failure is often the very cause of failure. One way in which I overcame my fear of failure was through sports. Sports taught me the art of being graceful even in defeat; it taught me to look at failure as not an end, but as an opportunity to learn how to do better later on.

Lesson #2: Be a student all your life

This is a lesson that I learnt from my second major encounter with failure, when I lost my first job. I realized that we live in a highly competitive world that lives by the motto – Survival of the “Smartest”. I realized that hard work alone doesn’t suffice in today’s world; one had to be smart, and to be smart, one had to keep learning and evolve with the changing times. I understood that there is no dearth of opportunities in this world for people who are willing to work hard, for people who are willing to learn.The key to surviving in this highly volatile world is to follow what Steve Jobs said, “Stay hungry, Stay foolish”.

Lesson #3: Do not look for instant gratification

Looking for instant gratification for efforts, will most often leave one disappointed. Sometimes, it takes years to finally get to where one wants to reach. A mistake that most people often make is that of giving up mid-way or at the first sign of failure.The key is to keep going at all times. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, Failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts”.  Patience, perseverance and a ‘never-say-die’ attitude will keep you going till you reach your final destination, and once you’re there, should there be any looking back! 

 

Lesson #4: Build a support-system

Just as a cushion reduces the impact of a fall, a strong support system protects you when you hit a low in your life. Surround yourselves with friends, family, teachers, people who adore you. At times when you are feeling down, there is nothing more reassuring, than that friend or loved one telling you “Don’t worry. It’s going to be alright.” Having a great support system helps make the pain of a failure more bearable.

Lesson #5: Learn to believe

‘Belief’ is a very strong word. I have seen it work wonders in a person’s life. A person with a strong belief – be it belief in God, belief in destiny, belief in oneself, or belief in some super power that controls the world, is very hard to defeat. While there are many things in life that we can control, there are a lot of things over which we have absolutely no control. It is always good to believe that there is a God or some mysterious super power out there to take care of those which are not in our control, for us. If one does not believe in God or destiny, a strong belief in oneself, would also do. They say, “Man can move mountains by faith”. A person, who is a true believer, remains unperturbed even in the midst of failure.

Lesson #6: Offer a helping hand

In my school and college days, I remember that whenever our teachers made student groups for group assignments, they made it in such a way that every group had a bright student and a student who wasn’t very good at studies. They used to ask the bright students of the group to help the weak students with their assignments. It is something which we can replicate in our personal and professional lives. Take some time out of your busy schedule to help someone, because if there is something equally rewarding, if not more rewarding than one’s own success, it is being instrumental in the success of another person. Help someone achieve their dreams – sponsor a child, volunteer to teach underprivileged children, offer guidance to someone who is need of it, even a seemingly simple act of just being there for someone when they need you, will leave you feeling elated. 

Lesson #7: Know that you are not alone

History stands testimonial to the fact that failure is a stepping stone to success. Take some of the most famous names in history – Albert Einstein, Charlie Chaplin, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, J.K Rowling, Silvester Stallone, or our very own Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, everyone has failed at some point or the other in their lives.  They failed, but they picked themselves up, and emerged stronger than ever after every defeat, and finally made it big in life. Whenever you feel that you have failed, just think about all these beautiful people, and you will realize that you are not alone.

Lesson #8: Give it up

The ‘Bhagavad Gita’ is a book that I always refer to when I feel the need for clarity in life. I would like to share one of my favorite lessons from the Gita that helped me overcome the fear of failure – ‘Abandon the desire for the fruits of your actions’. Very often one gets so attached to the results of one’s actions that the fear of not achieving it overpowers our actions, which ultimately results in our failure. However, when we give up the desire for enjoying the results of our actions, we are not concerned about success or failure, and this indifference eliminates our fear of failure. Never give up action, but give up the desires for its results, and you will find yourselves on the road to success! 

Lesson #9: Enjoy the ride

When one sets out on a journey to achieve something in life, one is not sure of how the journey will end – in victory or in defeat. Though one cannot predict the outcome of the journey, one can decide how they want the journey to be – they can either go through the journey worrying about the outcome, or they can choose to enjoy each and every moment of the ride. The choice is entirely up to the traveler! So enjoy the ride all along so that you have no regrets at the end of the journey.

Lesson #10: Master the art of ‘Equanimity’

Last but not the least, the key to remaining undefeated is to learn the art of ‘equanimity’. A person, who treats victory and defeat as the same, is neither overjoyed when successful, nor disappointed when unsuccessful.The one, who has learnt to master this evenness of mind, remains undisturbed even in the face of defeat.

Well, those are my ‘Ten Commandments’ towards combating failure and staying undefeated. The lessons that I learnt from each failure, helped me overcome failure at a later stage in life. I would like to share a few of those instances from life, where my past failures helped me defeat failure and emerge successful. 

After years of missing out on the top ranks in school and engineering college, I finally got my share of due credit in my B-School, as I completed my M.B.A with a rank in the university. What was different in M.B.A? Well many things, I had thoroughly enjoyed the whole process of learning while doing my M.B.A, I had totally let go of the desire to get a rank in the exams, and most importantly, I was not afraid of failure.

After I lost my first job, I was disappointed to the extent that I had started doubting my capabilities. But thanks to the support of my family and friends, who constantly kept reminding me that I was capable of achieving whatever I wanted in life, I regained my confidence. I went on to work for one of the leading software firms in the country, aced their training program for new recruits, won accolades for my work, and completed two years, before quitting to pursue my higher studies.

And what happened with my first job post M.B.A? Did I quit? I would have, had it not been for two noble souls in the organization who offered me a helping hand when I needed it most.They gave me some sound career advice, which made me rethink my decision to quit. They made me realize that I was wrong in looking for instant gratification – a job that was of my liking, in hardly a year into the organization. I could either quit my job, which was the easiest way out of the situation, or I could do my job with such dedication and passion that I could prove that I was worthy of taking on that role of my liking within the organization. I chose the latter and here I am, about to complete three years in the organization! Yes, I had to wait for eighteen months to get a role change, but I have no regrets, because I learnt a great deal about managing people during my tenure as a Store Coordinator. Those eighteen months helped me make the transition from an engineer to a manager. It also served as a good learning platform for me as I learnt more about the telecom industry during my tenure in the role. Now when I look back, I realize the importance of a field experience in laying a strong foundation to one's career in any industry and I thank the organization for having given us new recruits such an experience very early on in our career. 

Well, that brings me to the end of this article. In life, we win some battles, we lose some, but we just have to keep going, no matter what happens. The only thing that we do need to remember at all times is that nothing in this world, no failure, no loss is big enough to stop us from living life happily. Every moment in life is to be celebrated and cherished because we will never get it back. Success and failure are both transient, so why worry? I would like to conclude this article, with yet another quote from the ‘Bhagavad Gita’ – “Never in this world is a sincere person defeated”. So, here’s to the spirit of staying sincere in our efforts and here’s to the spirit of staying ‘Undefeated’!

Neerja Bhanot Lives On

I am no film critic, but I had to write this, because there has been no film in the recent times that has moved me, inspired me, and touched me the way the movie "Neerja", starring Sonam Kapoor and directed by Ram Madhvani, did. The movie is based on the true story of Neerja Bhanot, one of the pursers on board the ill-fated Pan Am 73 aircraft that was hijacked by terrorists at the Karachi airport on September 5, 1986.

I was not aware of the whole hijack incident until I first saw the promo of this movie on TV. I asked my mother about it, and she hardly remembered the incident. She said she only had a very vague memory of having read about it in news. The trailer of the movie looked promising, so I decided to watch the movie the very next day after it released. Little did I know that I was in for a cinematic experience that would bring about a sea change in the way I looked at life. 

The best thing about the movie is that despite being a biopic, it is neither preachy nor high on melodrama, and still manages to strike all the right chords in the hearts of its viewers. You will fall in love with the protagonist Neerja, portrayed beautifully by actress Sonam Kapoor, in her initial scene itself as she quotes one of Hindi Cinema's most loved dialogues - "Babu Moshai, Zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahin" from the timeless classic 'Anand'. 

Beautiful, fun and full of life, she is the sweet heart of everyone in her family. The director gets straight into the main plot of the movie within minutes from the start of the movie. It is not long before the images of the happy family of Neerja give way to images of hapless passengers at the mercy of a few trigger happy terrorists. The Pan Am aircraft on which Neerja was flying as the head purser for the first time in her career gets hijacked at Karachi by armed terrorists. The pilots of the aircraft abandon the aircraft and escape to safety as Neerja alerts them about the hijack. This leaves her and other crew members of the flight and all the passengers of the aircraft at the mercy of the terrorists. The film maker succeeds in creating the sense of terror and fear in the minds of the viewers, which helps one relate to what the characters in the movie were going though. Initially just like everyone else on the plane, Neerja is terrified. The rest of the movie is about how she overcomes her fear, keeps a steady mind, thinks and acts wisely and eventually saves the lives of about 300 passengers on the plane. 

Neerja was just a simple girl, with no extra ordinary powers or capabilities, but she did things that many of us would even shudder to think - facing armed terrorists with courage, negotiating with them, protecting over 300 total strangers from the wrath of the armed men compromising even her own safety. What made her do that? What is it that set her apart from others? There is a scene in the movie where Shabana Azmi who plays Rama Bhanot, Neerja's mother, asks herself this question as to what made Neerja act in the way that she did. Even when I got out of the theater after watching the movie, I kept asking myself, "What made her do it"? If I had to take a bullet for saving the life of a total stranger, would I have done it?  

The answer lies in the highest and finest qualities of a human being - 'Selflessness'. Neerja is an epitome of this fine quality of selflessness. Such human beings are very rare, which is why the story of Neerja finds resonance in today's world. In a world where people would go to any extreme for their own benefits, including hurting others in the process of getting it, the story of the selfless act of Neerja is worth telling over and over again. Her's is a story that needs to be told so that those who are not aware of it come to know about it, and those who have forgotten about it are reminded it. Though Neerja Bhanot was awarded by the Indian, American and Pakistani Governments for her act of bravery and human kindness, there were many who were unaware of her story before the movie released, including me. This movie not only reminds us of the heroic act of Neerja, but also about the menace that is terrorism. Though the incident happened 29 years ago, the threat of terrorism looms large even now. It has taken the lives of innocent people before and it continues to take more lives even now.    

Hats off to the entire team of the movie 'Neerja' for telling us the story of the braveheart. Thanks to the family of Neerja Bhanot for letting the world know about this incredible woman. Though the movie will leave you with moist eyes towards the closing credits, though the movie will leave you with a lump in the throat during certain scenes, though the movie will leave you with a strange sense of uneasiness, days after you have watched the movie, it is a "Must watch". The movie is undoubtedly one of the most inspiring movies of our times. It will serve to inspire us to be better human beings, it will inspire us to face life with courage and it will inspire us to be more selfless. 

I would like to conclude this article with a quote by Swami Vivekananda - "They alone live, who live for others". Neerja Bhanot, you will continue to live on! 

When you've lost that lovin' feelin'

Well it's that time of the year, when "Love" is in the air. Pick up a newspaper to read, it's there. Turn on the TV and it's there too. Tune into the radio and yes there is more of it there. After all it is Valentine's - the most special time of the year for lovers. I had often wondered what the big deal about this particular day of the year was, until I fell in love. St.Valentine had gained new found respect in my mind and the fourteenth of February went straight into my list of most special days in a year. It's amazing how love changes one's perspective in a single sweep. Those "Anti-Valentine's" and "I am proud to be single" years of my life had started to feel like they were ages ago. Being in love is a magical feeling. Wish I could put that down in words, but it simply is inexplicable. All is well till that magic of love is alive. But what happens when the magic fades away? What happens when the magic suddenly stops? What happens when one loses that loving feeling?

Fortunate are those who get to spend their lifetimes with the ones they love, but for the less fortunate it is as Lord Tennyson wrote "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". For the fortunate ones it's all about keeping the magic alive at all times, and for the less fortunate ones it's all about rediscovering the magic and not losing faith in the magic. Many a times, I have seen people lose faith in love after a failed relationship. But is love to be blamed for a relationship that did not work out? Most often, relationships fail, not because of the lack of love, but because people let love take a backseat and let their personal differences and egos take over. Had love been above all, the relationship wouldn't have failed. 

Any day is a good day to give love a chance, but Valentine's day is just the perfect occasion to give love a chance. So if you are in love, take some time out to be with your loved one, to tell them how special they are and it doesn't hurt to get them a nice little present too. If you are among those waiting to fall in love, step out, look out and speak out when you find the right one. And yes for the heart-broken ones, I know it is not easy to get through a Valentine's day without thinking about that lost love of yours, but you deserve to give yourselves another chance at love. Just because someone broke your heart, doesn't mean that you have to become all morose and bitter about love and turn into an "Anti-Valentine". This Valentine's keep you heart and mind open and you never know when love may find you again. 

But if you are among those who are not yet ready to move on (strictly only for those who cherish the memories of lost love, and not for those who are saddened by it), then that's what movies and music are there for. Get your collection of the best romantic movies and songs ready before the V-Day and you're good to go. There is nothing like listening to that favorite love song of yours, immersed in the thoughts of that long lost love on a Valentine's day. And if someone said "Move On", tell them, "Maybe some other day, for now this feels good."

As I get my playlist and movies for the day ready, I just wanted to wish everyone a very happy Valentine's day. Though I believe that love is something that needs to be celebrated every day of the year, every moment of our lives, for now let's just try and make the best out of the day of love by loving unconditionally not just our loved ones, but everyone in this world. Happy Valentine's Day!     

Ringing in The New Year with 'Hope'

There are three things that I like about New Year's - the countdown to the New Year's eve, the New Year's eve and the first day of the New Year. If it is the festive spirit of Christmas and a Birthday just two days prior to New Year's eve that makes the countdown so special for me, it is the feeling of letting go of the things of the past and an anticipation of the times to come that makes New Year's eve so special. But the first day of the year is the most special of it all, when festivities are its best and everyone is in their highest spirits. 

So, what makes the first day of the year so special? If we were to look at it this way, it is just like any other day of the year, what's so special about this day? Why is it being celebrated with such grandeur all over the world? The answer I believe lies deep down in our hearts. 'People are rational', say popular economists, however deep down people are emotional. People need reassurance; they need to be constantly told that everything is fine. When things are not fine, they need to be told that things will get better soon and that they have to keep their 'Hope' alive. I guess it is this very emotion of 'Hope' that makes every New Year's day so special. It brings along with it splendorous rays of hope - hope for a better tomorrow, hope for making a difference in our lives and in the lives of others, hope for making this world a better place. 

As a child, I used to look forward to gifts on New Year's. Growing up, I used to look forward to the holidays on New Year's. But after having blown out 29 candles on my birthday cake last year, I have moved on to something beyond gifts and holidays. This New Year, I look forward to something else. Like everyone I also hope for somethings very special.

This New Year, I hope that, 

# 1: I can forget and forgive more easily
# 2: I can help someone without expecting anything in return
# 3: I can travel to a place that I have never been to before
# 4: I can be more thankful for and content with what I have 
# 5: I can make a difference in a person's life through my work
# 6: I can learn something new
# 7: I can read as many books as I can possibly read 
# 8: I can give my parents at least one of the many things that they had sacrificed to bring me up
# 9: I can love everyone around me and never hate anyone
# 10: I can tell the people around me how special they are

Here is wishing everyone a very Happy New Year! May 2016 make a positive difference in all our lives, May there be happiness and peace all throughout the world. I would like to conclude with one of my favorite slokas which I learnt, courtesy my Alma Mater - 

"Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu" (May all the people in the world be happy). 

Once Upon A Time In Thrissur - Part 2

It has been a year since I left the city, but Thrissur is still very much alive in my memories. The second and last part in the series on the city that will always have a special place in my heart.

A couple of months in the city, and the city had slowly begun to grow on me. I had started to like the sights and the sounds of the city and its people. For someone like me, who had spent a major part of her life in a city like Cochin, Thrissur was a totally different world altogether. The first thing that any person who comes to Thrissur would fall in love with is the Vadakkumnathan Temple – situated right in the heart of the city, the sprawling structure of the temple has majesty and heritage written all over it. One cannot but look and marvel at the beauty of the temple, every time one passes by it, which is almost all the time that one heads out to the city, thanks to the way the city has been built, around the temple. Other temples in the city like the 'Paramekkavu Bagavathi Temple' and the 'Thiruvambadi Sree Krishna Temple' are also a visual treat in themselves.  

How can one talk about Thrissur and not mention the famous “Thrissur dialect”, which has always got Keralites interested, as can be seen by the popularity of movies where top actors in Malayalam films have portrayed characters who hailed from Thrissur; from Mohanlal in ‘Thoovanathumpikal’ to Prithviraj in ‘Indian Rupee’ to Mammooty in ‘Pranchiyettan and the Saint’ to Jayasurya in ‘Punlyalan Agarbathis’, and the recent ‘Vasootan’ or Kunchako Boban in ‘Jamna Pyaari’, the characters they portrayed in the movies and their dialogues continue to bring a smile on our faces every time we watch those movies. There were times, when I had picked up my phone to scold someone, but ended up laughing and saying “Its O.K” after listening to their side of the story, thanks to the ‘Thrissur dialect’. I would not admit it, but I had actually started to like the ‘Enthutta’s, ‘Vayo’s, ‘Rupiya’ and the likes that found their way into my conversations with the Thrissur Gedis :-) 

Thrissur is also a haven for foodies, with so many good restaurants in the city that serve mouth watering food. Being a vegetarian can be tough when it comes to finding quality vegetarian restaurants in any city. However Thrissur doesn’t disappoint vegetarians even, what with two equally amazing vegetarian restaurants – ‘Hotel Pathans’ and ‘Hotel Bharath’, and what can I say about the food served in both the hotels, well, it’s nothing short of ‘Heavenly’.  

But the best thing about Thrissur is its people, so warm, so good at heart, always ready to help one another. One of the best things about the people of Thrissur in my opinion is their unity. Talk about “Intolerance” to someone from Thrissur, they would probably laugh. Onam, Vishu, Ramzan or Christmas – every festival is celebrated with the same spirit by the people of Thrissur. The very famous ‘Thrissur Pooram’ is a classic example of Thrissur’s unity. Where else can you imagine a temple festival been celebrated with equal vigor by a Hindu, a Muslim and a Christian other than in the city of Thrissivaperur.

Studies and work have taken me to different states and cities in India, and each city that I have been in, has left an everlasting impression on my mind. However the city of Thrissur is very special to me and is very close to my heart as the city and its people have transformed me in more ways than one; they made me a better person – both personally and professionally.

Thank you Thrissur for those wonderful memories, for those lessons in humanity and management :-), and for accepting me as your own. The beautiful temples, the 'My Idea' team, my showrooms, the team at the Thrissur Zonal Office of Idea, the angelic elderly couple who were my landlords, the heavenly ‘Masala Dosa’ at the Bharath Hotel – I will miss all of this, but I know that the city and the people of Thrissur will continue to live on in my memories, forever. 

365 Days of Valentine's

Off-late I have taken an aversion to news in any form, be it newspapers, TV news channels or the latest to join the bandwagon - 'social media'. There was a time when I used to begin my day with the newspaper in one hand and a cup of hot tea in the other, going through all the articles, with great interest. Nowadays the very thought of beginning a day with the newspaper dreads me, what with news about violence - murders, crimes, assaults; news about conflicts - between nations, between states, between political parties; news about death - due to accidents, diseases and so on filling up almost all pages of the newspaper. I could avoid all news totally and stay undisturbed by the sad state of affairs of the world around me, but I know it won't be long till the bubble burst. There is no point in denying that we live in very difficult times, the sooner we accept it, the better it is to come to terms with reality.

There are times, when I wish I could just travel back in time some 20 years; life as I knew it then was so peaceful and devoid of complexities. I sometimes wonder as to what has changed over all these years - is it me or is it the world around me, or both? Every day, back then, was a celebration - of life, of love, of togetherness. Cut to some 20 years later, every day feels like a war. It is like you are fighting a battle for existence every day; you consider yourselves lucky if you get back home, safe and sound at the end of the day.

The daily battle begins from the moment we wake up. Suppose you woke up late one day and are running late for office, or your breakfast is not ready on time, or you are not able to find your dress or your vehicle's keys, everyone who comes your way that day has to face your wrath. The first victims of the battle - your family. Quarrels, arguments ensue and somehow you manage to step out of home. The next part of the battle begins; the battleground is the road, and the victims - everyone who is on the road. Pedestrians blame the people on bikes, people on bikes blame people who ride cars; people who ride cars, blame people who ride buses, and the bus drivers - they blame other bus drivers, car drivers, bike riders, pedestrians, and basically anyone who dares come in their way! The battle gets ugly at traffic signals, where the moment the signal goes from red to green, there is this mad rush of vehicles to get past the signal (as if it were a matter of life or death!) and the honking and cursing the drivers of the vehicles in front as if they were going to stay there for eternity. In the hurry to reach their destinations, people conveniently turn a blind eye to traffic rules and often to other people on the road. Navigating their way through the crazy crowd, when one finally manages to reach office, a different kind of enemy awaits them there! The battlefield is office and the victims, well every one in the office. 

If "Survival of the fittest" was what Charles Darwin said about natural selection, it is "Survival of the smartest" that works at the workplace. Each day in a highly competitive workplace is a battle to outsmart the smartest. Add tight schedules, deadlines, targets, reviews, dynamic business situations and peer pressure to a day and getting through the day seems nothing less than fighting a war. After a tiring day at office, when you ride back home, the second part of the battle on road begins. You get back home, and the second part of the battle at home begins. This goes on until you go to sleep. It's the same old story, the next day, the battle goes on and on.

If one were to do a root cause analysis of what has changed over the years, I feel that the root cause would be the lack of love - love for oneself and love for the people around ourselves. Somewhere in this fast paced life of ours, we have forgot this simple yet powerful feeling that is love. From childhood, we are taught that the mantra for surviving in this world is "Compete or die". Children are not taught to love each other or help others in need, instead they are taught how to get good grades in exams. Of what use is a good grade or all the education in the world to a person who does not use it for the good of the people around him! In our effort to make children toppers and rank holders, we forget to teach them lessons in humanity. 

All we need today to make our lives better is a little bit of love - love for ourselves and our family, love for all the people on the road, love for all the colleagues at work, basically love for everyone around us. A little bit of love for your family will go a long way in avoiding those battles at home. You show a little bit of love and consideration for the people and other vehicles on the road, and our roads would not be deadly battlegrounds any more. Reaching your destination late will not hurt as much as the remorse of having hurt someone in the process of reaching your destination. If you keep aside all the thoughts of competition from your mind, you might actually start appreciating your colleagues more and start liking your work more. Learn to love yourself and take good care of yourself, because unless you love yourself you cannot love anyone else. 

The key to making this world a better place lies in this famous quote by Auden - "Love each other or perish". Each day of our life should be a celebration of love. All we need is 365 days of Valentine's.