Valentine's 2K19: A beginning of new love affairs

A post about Valentine’s Day, a week after the D-Day or V-Day, is late by any standards. But I had legit reasons for not been able to post anything on the same day. While people were busy declaring their love for their partners or wishing that they had someone in their lives to share the special occasion with or reminiscing about their lost love, I found myself literally dragging my feet into the place that I most detest in this world – Hospital. With three instances of accidents in my childhood where each instance had me or rather my parents rushing me to the hospital, to get my injuries tended to, where each one required getting stitches, with one requiring multiple surgeries also, the hospital was one place that I dreaded, as it reminded me of those instances. In my childhood, I was anything but naughty, but I was the one who was always falling down and getting injured, when my naughty friends were up to all sorts of mischief, but were never hurt. Luckily, the saga of falling down and getting injured, ended after school. It was smooth sailing once college started, I had no major falls or illnesses that required me to visit a hospital.

And after so many years, I found myself in a hospital, that too on a Valentine’s Day. It had been more than five days that I had been suffering from fever, cold and cough, but I was confident that I will overcome my sickness without any medication. The body has self-healing powers, I had read somewhere, I had taken it a little too seriously, I guess. The initial few days of the ordeal were bearable, hence I was busy with my work as usual, but as my health started deteriorating, I realized that I was not able to work, leave work, I was not even able to get out of my bed to fetch a glass of water. The interesting part is that it is the former that made me more miserable than the latter. Anything that came in the way of work had to be dealt with, immediately. I searched my bag for the emergency medicines that I keep in handy, found the one for fever and downed a pill. The first one made me feel better, but after a while, I was back to square one. The morning of Valentine’s Day, my situation was so bad, I thought that I was going to die and since I had so much unfinished work, I thought I would probably have to come back as a ghost to finish all of that! Before my mind could conjure up more such images, I decided that it was time to pay a visit to that place that I dread, before I actually dropped dead. When workaholics fall sick, the thought of not been able to work makes them more sick than the illness itself, I guess!

So, I headed to the nearby hospital for what I would like to describe as a Valentine’s date with doctors and nurses, and injections and medicines, and devices that looked straight out of those digital electronics labs back in engineering college (now that is one scary date, all those who used to dread digital electronics would vouch for that!) on which some graphs were displayed and which were letting out some beep sounds at regular intervals. As much as I hated visiting a hospital and as much as the very thought of being in a hospital scared  the daylights out of me, I must say that I did feel thousand times better once I was inside the hospital, there was this unique sense of calm in my mind, it was as if my mind was telling me that now things will only get better, so just relax. And things did get better. Multiple injections and a whole bottle of some mysterious fluid (which the nurse told me had to be injected into my body as I grew impatient when it was showing no signs of getting over even after an hour) I felt like a brand new person. My test reports had come, there was nothing to fear, no life-threatening illnesses, just fever and a pair of infected lungs, which could be treated with a handful of antibiotics. As I got my medicines and my reports and was leaving the hospital, I realized how fortunate I was. In the few hours that I spent at the hospital, though I was part conscious and part unconscious during the whole time, I saw many things around me that changed me for the better.

In the bed opposite mine was a young girl, I didn’t know what her illness was, but by merely observing her and her family for a few minutes, I could see that she was in pain and seeing her in pain was unbearable for her family, leave alone her family, it was unbearable even for a complete stranger like me. When a grown-up like me itself dreads the very thought of hospitals, doctors and injections, I cannot even imagine how afraid that little girl must have been, how scary the sights and sounds in the hospital would have been to her. On the way to the labs to get my tests done, I saw many other sections of the hospital, the dialysis room, the oncology department, the orthopaedics department. I saw patients being moved around in wheelchairs and stretchers, their families tagging along. There was desperation on some faces, whereas relief on some others. I overheard someone talk over the phone, his voice ecstatic, he was saying that the reports of the CT scan of his father had come and there was nothing to fear. That look on his face, that happiness in his voice, pure bliss! When I got back from the hospital, I thought about the time that I spent there, I thought to myself, well, it was probably not a bad way to celebrate Valentine’s Day after all. Because all I could recollect from the day were images of love, love for one’s family in the eyes of the family members of patients, love for one’s life in the eyes of the patients, love for one’s job in the eyes of the doctors and nurses, who were in my mind blood sucking vampires (blame it on the white uniforms and syringes) up until this last hospital visit, but who have now been elevated to the status of God send angels in my mind after the recent visit. I am not sure how many times I would have thanked those doctors and nurses who had attended to me, the next morning after I woke up, as I had the most peaceful sleep in ages that night, as all the nights before that I could hardly sleep a wink because of my illness.

The Valentine’s date with the hospital also served as a beginning of a new love affair in my life, one which I wish lasts a life time – a love affair with health. Whoever said “Health is Wealth”, was absolutely right. In fact, I believe it is the only wealth in the world that is actually worth striving for. Among all the priorities in my life, health never found a place in my list, not even at the bottom. I guess it is because I had taken my health for granted. It also had to do with my genes. I have seen my mother take care of everyone in the family in the best way possible, but when it came to taking care of her own health, she always turned a blind eye to it and deaf ears to the advice of her family. Whereas my father, who despite being a workaholic, always took great care of his health. Thanks to my genes, I became a workaholic who ignores her health. It is really strange, but many people would go to any lengths to ensure that their dear ones are healthy, but they would not devote even a small percentage of their time, efforts or money to take care of themselves. We are ever ready to take care of the people who are dear to us, but we often forget that only if we are healthy, we can actually be of some help to the people around us. I love my work and I would do anything to ensure that my work is not affected, be it spending sleepless nights, travelling like crazy, skipping meals, I would do it all. But when it comes to doing something for my health, like spending some time for exercise or eating healthy food and that too on time, taking breaks, I give myself millions of excuses for not doing any of that. It is only when I reached a stage where I was unable to work that I even thought of getting medical attention, else I would have let my illness go untreated. In my mad frenzy to keep working, I actually did more harm to my work, as my illness prevented me from working for so many days. I had been stupid for a long time, but it’s never too late to realize one's mistake and correct it. So, this Valentine’s day, I decided to start a love affair with health. I had always taken my health for granted, but in my last visit to the hospital, I realized that I was so fortunate as compared to the many in this world who are dealing with life-threatening illnesses. I realized that I should not take good health for granted, I had to ensure that I did my part in improving it and maintaining it. I also realized that unless I put ‘Health’ high up on my list of priorities, I couldn’t take care of the rest of my priorities like family and work. This Valentine’s Day marked the beginning of my lifelong affair with good health. To all those who are like me, who ignore their health, I would say it’s high time you also start this affair, after all, it’s an affair that is totally worth investing your time and efforts in, and trust me, you won’t regret it!

One usually associates Valentine’s Day with red colour, however this year's Valentine's day was a black-letter day, not just for Indians, but for entire humanity. When I read about the terrorist attack on the CRPF convoy in Pulwama, Kashmir that took the lives of 41 CRPF Jawans, I was shocked as well as saddened. Honestly, my first reaction to the news was hate. I thought that whoever was responsible for that heinous act had to be killed, each and every one of them deserved to die. I did not know any of the martyred Jawans, I was just an Indian citizen and I felt so much angst and hatred, I couldn’t even imagine what the families of the deceased would have been feeling. But that’s when I realized that this is a vicious cycle, someone commits a violent crime out of hate and it in turn give rise to more hatred and anger; hate breeds more hate. A few days later, there were multiple killings in my state Kerala, in the name of political rivalry. I could not understand how there can be so much hate in someone that they go about taking the lives of innocent people. It was something that I just could not comprehend. But I realized one thing after these recent incidents – hate is something that has to be done away with in our lives, if we want to make our lives better. I thought about all the people I hate in my life – people who were rude to me, people who have caused me or my family some hurt at some point or the other in life. But when I looked back at the events that led to that hatred, I understood that the initial reason for my hatred had been very trivial, it’s just that I had kept that hate in my mind for so long, it actually became much bigger than it actually was. I realized that holding on to hate only made me bitter.  I decided to let go of the hate, not for the people I hated, but for myself. It was a liberating feeling.  

There is already so much of hatred in this world, the world could use more love. We could use more instances than Valentine’s day to celebrate love. To all those who keep hatred and envy in their hearts, all I want to say is that, it makes perfect sense to let go of hate and envy, you will feel much better when you do that. This Valentine’s day, I decided that I will start a new love affair with love itself. It is high time we let go of hate and learn to love again, just like we did when we were children, irrespective of differences, prejudices, just pure unadulterated love. My love affair with love has begun, maybe you could start one too, maybe this world could use more of such affairs! So here is to the beginning of new love affairs in life, love for one’s health, love for oneself, love for everyone in this world, love for love itself! May these love affairs last a lifetime and may they help us become better human beings and make this world a better place! Signing off with a favourite quote of mine, from the Bard himself – “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none”. 

Cheers to love!

What makes you beautiful?

-          Dedicated to all the “beautiful” people in my life! 

I have always wondered, what is it that endears a person to someone? Is it their looks, is it their character, or is it their personality, or is it something which is beyond all reason and logic, like an inexplicable emotion that simply makes them attractive to you. Growing up, I used to believe that good looks were what made someone attractive. If you look good, you invariably become a magnet, drawing everyone around you, towards you. At least that was my belief growing up, and life gave me plenty of instances that kept strengthening my belief. In school, all the good looking children had lots of friends, they were showered with love and affection by teachers, parents, students alike. In college too, good looking people were always surrounded by a group of people, they were the topic of most discussions, their opinions were valued more than that of others, they enjoyed so much attention in a day which probably people like me with average to poor looks never got in our entire lives even! The story was no different at the workplace too. Good looking people seemed to have everything going for them, at every stage of their lives.

When I look at the world around me, it seems to me that everyone is so obsessed with looking good all the time, wearing the best clothes,  sporting the trendiest hair styles, trying to attract everyone's attention towards them. You post a photo in social media and eagerly wait for the “likes” and comments to pour in. Everyone wants to hear others say that they are beautiful. I would be lying to myself if I said that I was any different, I too have at one point of time in my life, wanted to look good, wanted so desperately to get some good comment about the way I looked, but all I used to get were some very harsh comments on how skinny I was or how my hair was such a terrible mess, to which I had always wanted to reply, “tell me something I don’t know” (a popular dialogue from the movie ‘Simmba’ that I watched recently) because (a) I know that I am skinny and (b) I know that I have a ‘bad hair day’ 365 days of the year, but that’s how I am! Being a fair person in a country that is obsessed with fairness also didn’t help me much, because there were people who used to tell me that I was so white I looked like a sick person! A young me took all those comments to heart, got dejected and sunk deeper and deeper into my shell. But over a period of time, however, I realized that I had been so wrong and so foolish all the while to think that one’s looks were all that mattered to the people around you. It must have been in my late twenties that this change in my notions of beauty started manifesting itself. I had slowly started to realize that this obsession with looking good was meaningless, pointless, and totally not worth it. Gradually the realization set in that there is more to being beautiful than one’s external appearance. Recently I read the book ‘A Picture Of Dorian Grey’ by Oscar Wilde and it just sealed the deal. It is a book that entirely changed my concept of beauty.

‘A Picture Of Dorian Grey’ had been on my reading list for last year (it was a new year resolution that I had made at the beginning of last year to read at least one book every month, a book which readers across the world had said in unison were amongst the best books to read in one’s lifetime), so when I picked up the book from the Crossword store in Cochin last year along with the other must-reads in my list, I knew that the book was going to be special, but that it would bring about a sea change in the way I looked at beauty and life in general, of that I was unaware. When I finished reading the book, it left me with a very uneasy and unsettling feeling, which I found very difficult to break free from for many days, many months, in fact. But once I broke free from it, I realized that I was not the same person that I was before reading the book. Something in me had changed and I knew that it was for the better. The book is a tale of fiction, but it is as real as it can be in depicting human nature. The book tells the story of Dorian Grey, a young man with such exceptional good looks that one could say that he was beauty personified. One day, his friend, who is an artist, paints a beautiful picture of him. Once while looking at the picture, Dorian wishes that he could stay just as he is in the picture all throughout his life, beautiful and youthful forever, and instead of him, his portrait in the picture changed and grew old, as he changed with time. And to his surprise his wish comes true!

At the first thought, it is like any human being’s best wish come true, isn’t it? Who wouldn’t want to be timeless and young and beautiful all their lives? But how does Dorian’s wish change his life, does it change his life for the better as one would expect or does it change it for worse? Was his wish coming true, a boon or a bane for Dorian? One has to read the book to find answers to what happens to Dorian. However, in real life, if we were also granted a wish like that of Dorian, choosing between eternal beauty of the body or the soul, what would we have chosen? Would we have chosen differently from Dorian? The answers to what happens to Dorian’s life can be found in the lines of the book, but the answers to whether it is worth wishing for beauty of the body over beauty of one’s soul, can be found between the lines of the book. It is a book that will make you think, a great deal. It will have you asking yourselves questions that perhaps you have never asked yourselves before, and once find answers to your questions, trust me, there will be no going back to your old self.

There are all kinds of theories about beauty – some people say that beauty is skin deep, some say that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. But what exactly does beauty refer to – is it restricted to what we see or is there more to beauty than meets the eye. People spend all their lives obsessing over beauty, it is no wonder why the beauty industry is a thriving one, with multiple brands promising to make you look like a ramp-ready model in minutes and the growing number of professionals who claim that they can transform you from an ugly duckling to a Prince Charming in no time. But in this endless obsession with having a beautiful outward appearance, what people often forget is that there is something inside us which is far more important than what’s on the outside and which needs constant nourishment and care – our souls. The interesting thing is, no matter how much effort we put into improving our external appearance, one always falls short. There will always be someone who will not find you good enough, someone who will find faults with your looks. But, even if we manage to get everything right, how do we stop the passage of time? With time our body will start showing signs of ageing, no matter what we do to overcome that. Then there are unexpected things that can alter the way one looks – accidents or diseases, and I am not even talking about life-threatening ones, even a simple illness can have a very adverse impact on the way we look. Some people take great pride in being very fair, but what they don’t realize is that, all it takes is a few minutes of a walk in the sun to go from fair to dark. One thing is for sure – one’s looks are not permanent. Looks are as transient as they can be and the earlier we understand it, the better it is for us to leave our obsession with looks behind. However, it is not the case with our souls – they do not get worn out with time, in fact they become more beautiful with time, provided we refrain from doing things that damage its beauty. If we keep nourishing our souls with good thoughts it remains beautiful forever. No illness, no disease, no event in this world can diminish the beauty of one’s soul. The better as human-beings we become with time, the more beautiful our souls become. It’s a pity that most people spend time on making themselves beautiful on the outside, when they should be spending time on enriching their souls by reading good books, gaining more knowledge, listening to wise people and doing good deeds. Most often, it is too late by the time they realize this fact, but by then their looks would have gone and their souls would have been damaged beyond repair. One can always make peace with the loss of one’s looks, but how does one ever make peace with the loss of the beauty of one’s soul. It is something that no one can live with.

‘The Picture Of Dorian Grey’ by Oscar Wilde, serves as an eye-opener to all people in the world who are obsessed with outer beauty. Reading the book made me look at all the people in my life in a new light. I thought about all the people whom I like very much in this world, starting with my parents. My parents are no superstars or supermodels, but I find them more beautiful than anyone else in this world. To me my father personifies all things good in the world – honesty, integrity, goodness, kindness, dedication, perseverance and it is his soul that is the most beautiful part of him. My mother is to me the epitome of love, affection, compassion, simplicity and sacrifice. What makes my mother beautiful is all of that. I thought about my best friends from school and college, well, they may not be the likes of Greek Gods or Goddesses, but they are amongst the most kind and supportive people I have come across in life. I thought about my teachers, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not recollect even one instance when I was vowed by the way they looked, but I could recollect countless lectures of theirs, where I was completely in awe of their knowledge, their wisdom, their rich experience, their grace, their poise and their way of speaking. I thought about some of the best colleagues in my work life, even though I do not remember the days when they wore a new dress or looked exceptionally good, I remember all the instances of their extraordinary kindnesses which endeared them to me, each and every one of them. I also thought about myself, if looks were what mattered in order to succeed in life, then probably I would not have been able to study in some of the best colleges and work with some of the best companies in the country! 

  

When I look back at life, I cannot find even one instance when I had been attracted to someone who is dear to me, because of the way they looked on a particular day. All I can recollect about them are the times when I had been touched by the beauty of their soul. It had never been about the way they looked, it had never been about the dresses they wore, it had always been about their soul. Yes, it was their soul that made them beautiful then, and it is what makes them beautiful even now, and it is what will remain beautiful in them, forever. So the next time, you look into the mirror and you feel that maybe you don’t look good enough, tell yourselves that it doesn’t matter because as long as you have a beautiful mind, it is all that matters. The next time someone tells you that you are not beautiful enough or someone gives you a harsh comment on the way you look, just forgive them as they do not know what true beauty is, forgive them as they cannot see you for who you really are. Stop worrying about what other people have to say about you, because if we start living our lives thinking about what others say or think about us, we will only have time to worry. So let people say all that they want, good or bad, but don’t take any of that to heart. Even if the whole world body shames you, do not lose heart, instead just listen to your heart, and if your heart says that you are beautiful, then that’s it, you need not look any further for validation. 

God has made all of us a certain way, we have to accept everything that He has given us as His gift and be happy for it, because if He has made that decision for us, we have to trust that it will be for our best. The best gift that we can probably give our creator and for that matter ourselves and all the people in our lives is to love ourselves just the way we are, because everyone who loves us also loves us just as we are, so why should we be any different! Here's to beauty that lasts a lifetime and beyond!      

Black, Write or Grey?

After having survived a flood and a cyclone, I find myself thinking about life and people in general, much more than I used to. I have all these questions in my mind that I try to find answers to, but the more I think the murkier my mind gets, as every question leads me to further questions and the answers keep evading me. I have always found life to be a puzzle, but more puzzling than life are the people in life. People have always been a mystery to me, I have always wondered why certain people are the way they are and why they do the things they do. Though every day in life has helped me gain some insights into the same, there have been certain days, certain incidents in my life, that have given me invaluable insights that laid to rest many of those questions in my mind, but at the same time gave rise to some more questions. I distinctly remember two such incidents – one was a flood in Kashmir four years ago and the other is a very recent one, a cyclone in Thanjavur a few days ago.

When what starts off as a pleasure trip turns into the stuff that your worst nightmares are made of, you can be rest assured that you are in for a very rude shock. It was what happened to me four years ago, when we, me and my parents, found ourselves stranded at a disaster relief camp during the floods in Jammu and Kashmir in the year 2014. It was an experience that brought me close to the many facets of human nature, like one's love for life, one's fear of losing something that is dear to us and one's willingness to help one another, irrespective of their differences. It was an experience that brought out the best qualities in all of us. We had realized the value of life. We also realized the volatility and the futility of the things that we spend all our lives chasing - money, power and fame; all of it could change in the blink of an eye and none of it mattered when one's life was at stake. Had we not been in a life-threatening situation like the one we were faced with, I am not sure if we would have behaved in the same way that we did, back then, helping one another, talking to one another and giving each other hope. Had it been a normal day, our egos, our prejudices, would have come to play and we would have rushed to find faults with one another at the drop of a hat! However, there were some exceptions though, people who were their selfish, arrogant, greedy and inconsiderate selves, even when they knew their lives as well as the lives of others around them were in peril. If something like a life or death situation could not bring about a change in their ways, then I wonder what possibly could. But after a week-long ordeal, once we reached our homes safely all that remained in our minds was gratitude to all those who had been good to us. Their acts of kindness remained  etched in our hearts and so did they, whereas the acts of hatred as well as the people behind them were quickly forgotten. But the experience left me with several questions that I am still struggling to find answers to. Why is it that we have to wait for a critical situation to be our best selves, why is it that we have to lose something to finally realize the value of what we have lost? Why is it that we can't let go of our egos, our differences, our hatred, when we know that this world would be a much better place without them? Why is there so much greed for money in this world, when we know that we do not take anything with us when we leave this world? 

A couple of days ago, I found myself in a similar situation, though it wasn't as threatening as the floods of Kashmir, it did bring a lot of fear, desperation and helplessness in my life – the recent cyclone Gaja which ravaged several districts of Tamil Nadu including Thanjavur, the district where I work. I had only seen cyclones in movies on T.V and read about them in news, until a few days ago, when I saw and experienced for real, how a cyclone affects the lives of people. The cyclonic storm Gaja started in the wee hours of Friday, 16^th November 2018. Power went off within a few minutes since the winds started blowing heavily and I was finding it difficult to fall asleep, so I opened the doors of my room and came out to the hall of the hostel, where I stay in Thanjavur. What I saw through the grilled doors of the hostel would easily go down as one of the scariest sights of my life, wind was blowing so heavily that even big trees were swaying furiously in the direction of the wind. The winds were so strong, everything around was being hurled around viciously by the wind. Accompanying the winds were heavy rains. The humming sound created by the heavy winds and the rains, it is amongst the most haunting sounds that I have ever heard in my life. It has been many days since I witnessed it, and I am still not able to get that sound out of my head. The sights and the sounds combined to create a sense of utmost terror in my mind. I stood there watching cyclone Gaja wreak havoc on the place that over the past three years had become second home to me – Thanjavur.  

     

After six hours or so, which seemed like an eternity to all of us in Thanjavur, the winds stopped, but it continued to rain. With the loss of power, our struggle for survival began – mobiles went off, laptops went off, water supply stopped, public transport stopped, life pretty much came to a standstill before we knew it. I had enquired the status of all the people whom I interact with as part of work over WhatsApp to check if they were alright and then sent a message home saying that I was safe and they need not worry. I was able to get a few responses, but by the time my phone ran out of charge. What followed was a long wait for things to get back to normal, with my mobile phone gone, I practically had no connection to the outside world, I was not aware of the situation in places other than Thanjavur. I was sitting and waiting when our hostel management sent word to those who were in the hostel that power will not be restored for the next two days, hence the hostel was going to be closed for the next two days. That is when I became aware of the extent of damage that had been caused by the cyclone. Large trees had been uprooted in many places in Thanjavur and electric poles and transmission lines had been damaged. There was no surety as to whether the power supply would be back after two days also. One after the other, hostel inmates started packing their bags and moving back to their homes. I was not sure as to what I would do, I did not have any relatives in Thanjavur or any place nearby. I had no place to go other than my home in Cochin, or no one to go to other than my parents. I knew it was too late to get any train tickets as it was afternoon by the time I got the news. Moreover, I was not sure if any trains or buses were going out of Thanjavur even. With very low hopes, I decided to check if any train tickets were available. I used up every remaining power in my laptop to charge my phone and check for tickets. I was surprised when I saw that there was just one train ticket remaining in the only direct train that connects Thanjavur and Cochin, I felt like I finally found a ray of hope in an otherwise dark day. I booked that ticket and just as I got the booking confirmation message, my phone got switched off again. There were speculations that the train would be cancelled as it starts from Karaikal and travels via Nagapattinam before it reaches Thanjavur and from what I heard from one of my distributors who had called me in the morning, Nagapattinam had been very badly affected by the cyclone. However the train came, after a delay of two hours due to the damages in the track, but it wasn’t cancelled. I boarded the train, left a message to my manager on my phone seeking his permission to be out of Thanjavur for a couple of days and tried to go to sleep, but I couldn’t sleep a wink that night out of the all the frights that the day had given me. The images of the damage that the cyclone had caused which I saw on the way from my hostel to the railway station were etched in my mind. The humming sounds of the winds and the rains, they still echoed in my head. I was finding it hard to fall asleep, I was filled with an inexplicable fear. I longed to be back home, to be with my parents. 

   

Once I reached my home in Cochin and saw the faces that I had been waiting to see, the fear had left me. Having a place to call one’s own is one of the best things in life and having people who will have your back even during the most trying times of your life, a blessing. I sometimes wonder, what I would do had it not been for my parents in life. At the same time, I thought about those people who were now stranded due to the cyclone, I thought about those were away from their families. I thought about all those people who were left homeless by the cyclone, about those whose homes were damaged by the cyclone. I felt sorry for them, I felt angry at life. Why did life have to be so difficult at times? Maybe this is all a master-plan by a greater power than we can comprehend, maybe these are trials to test our faith in God, maybe it is to help us understand and appreciate the value of life, maybe it is all part of God's plan to help us become better human-beings, only time will tell. I was lost in these thoughts when I realized that I had a job to do. I started enquiring about my distributors in Thanjavur, Tiruvarur and Nagapattinam. It was sad news from most parts, the houses of many of their employees had been damaged, there were damages to their offices, power and internet connectivity erratic, but fortunately there were no casualties. Life isn’t that bad, I thought. Once I was done making the enquiries, I sat back and thought about it, the people whom I interact with on a daily basis, apart from those who were in the cyclone affected area, there was not a single message from them enquiring the status of the condition back there. Honestly that was a very sinking feeling and it hurt very badly. I was thinking, maybe I have made a mistake in judging people. I thought that there will be many who will be there with me when I need them, even without me asking. But I was wrong, again. The people who we think are there with us, are they really with us or are they just pretending to be? Honestly, when I look back in life, I find that the people who helped me during the most difficult situations in my life are not those whom I interact with all the time, but they were people, whom I had least expected would be there to help me or anyone for that matter. I was wondering, is there anyone who truly cares about you in this world, other than maybe your parents? Why is it that the world always looks up to people who project themselves as good and shun those who do not follow suit because they don’t believe in showing off or are not looking for any kind of approval from the society that they are good. How does one really know if a person is genuine or fake? 

All these thoughts were running through my mind, but I was a bit relieved that I was safe and so were every other acquaintance of mine in Thanjavur, Tiruvarur and Nagapattinam. I turned on the T.V to know the recent developments on the cyclone, but to my surprise I saw that no channels, regional as well as national, were running any news on the cyclone, but they were busy showing the developments from Sabarimala temple where protests were rampant in connection with the recent Supreme Court verdict that permits women to enter the temple. Suddenly a Hartal had been declared in Kerala and people across Kerala were struggling to get through the day due to the unexpected Hartal. After seeing all the hue and cry over the verdict and the way people were abusing and hurting each other and the way the common man was being made to suffer because of the Hartal, I felt disgusted and switched off the T.V. My mind was in turmoil. I thought to myself, people are just unbelievable! Just a couple of months ago, Kerala had faced a flood that literally brought everyone in the state to their knees. They were struggling for life back then and the differences between people had vanished as everyone helped one another in overcoming, one of the worst crisis that they had perhaps faced in their life time. They were so good to each other, it had taken my faith in humanity to an altogether different level. Now here they were, hardly three months since the floods, fighting against each other, hurting each other, all in the name of religion and politics.  

It’s only natural that my thoughts are a bit clouded now as I recently recovered from a week-long illness that ended on a frightening note with a cyclone, but this emotional turmoil has always been there in my mind. The mystery, the puzzle that is mankind, I had always wanted to unravel this mystery. People confuse me, their behaviour confuses me. At one point, they are all noble and godly, the next moment they are evil personified. Why are people like that? Why is it that people are good at times but evil at other times? Why is it that some people are good all the time whereas some are not? Are there only two kinds of people in this world – the good ones and the bad ones, or does good and bad both coexist in everyone? Is this world just plain black and white, or are there shades of grey in between?

I used to wonder if it is it just me who has questions like these on their minds or are there others who have asked themselves these questions at some point or the other in their lives. The answer is yes, at least that is what I have learnt from the books that I have read. Recently I read ‘The Catcher In The Rye’ by J.D. Salinger and ‘To Kill A Mocking Bird’ by Harper Lee, two books that made me realize that I am not alone, there were many before me who have had similar thoughts about mankind, who had been puzzled by the way mankind is. From these books by great authors and thinkers and from the conversations of the great minds that I admire, I have learnt one thing – people are different and they behave differently at times, but if we really look deep down, people are good. There are a couple of lines, infact they are the closing lines of the book ‘To Kill A Mocking Bird’ that moved me to tears as I read them. The beauty of the lines is that they convey a message that is as simple as it is profound. I am sure that the lines and the message that they convey will stay with me as well as the reader for the rest of their lives.

Quote.

“Atticus, He was real nice”.

“Most people are Scout, when you finally see them”.

Unquote.

I remember reading this article once, in Mathrubhumi newspaper, by Mata Amritanandamayi (lovingly called Amma). In the article Amma was saying that we should always try to look at the goodness of people because when we say that someone is bad, we ourselves are becoming bad. Amma says that there will always be some good in even the most evil of all people. It is this goodness in everyone that one should learn to see, appreciate and nurture.

There have been lot of times in my life when I have been extremely disappointed with someone’s behaviour to me, sometimes it was something they said, and sometimes it was something they did, that caused me a lot of hurt. There are times when I have seen people behave in the most inconsiderate manner that it made me question my very faith in humanity. I have seen rich people exploit the poor and powerful people exploit the oppressed and go on about their lives without the slightest morsel of remorse. I could spend all my life hating such people, but hate never did any good to anyone. Instead of hating them, I started looking at them in a different light. I thought, maybe it is their ignorance or their circumstances, or their upbringing that made them behave that way, or maybe they were actually mean or bad.  As long as I didn’t know the real reason behind their behaviour, it made sense to believe that they are inherently good. Well, there have also been many instances in life where I have been at the receiving end of extraordinary acts of kindness and compassion. I have seen people display utmost honesty and integrity in their acts. 

History stands testimonial to the power of humanity, but it has also witnessed so many acts that would take away one’s belief in humanity. After much thought, I have understood that one cannot just look at this world and the people in it as black and white, there are varying shades of grey too in this world. Life too has its shades of grey, there is happiness, there is sadness and places in between. A world that is all white, a world filled with nothing but goodness, maybe too ideal a concept to wish for. But wish we must and strive we must, in our own small ways to leave this world a better place than it is today. As Amma says, “Try to make others happy, and don’t despair over all the evil in the world. Instead of cursing the dark, let us each light one small lamp”. 

If you wish to light a small lamp in the lives of the thousands in Tamil Nadu who have been affected by the recent cyclonic storm Gaja - ones who have lost their family members, ones who have lost their homes, their belongings, their crops, their life's earnings, you can send in your contributions, small or big to the Chief Minister's Public Relief Funds by following the link below. 

https://ereceipt.tn.gov.in/cmprf/cmprf.html 

The people who have been affected by the cyclone are predominantly from very poor agrarian backgrounds. Thanjavur is known as the "Rice bowl" of Tamil Nadu. We owe a lot to the farmers in Thanjavur, who are the people behind the rice on our tables. Let's get together and help fill their rice bowls again. May Thanjavur and all the other districts in Tamil Nadu that have been affected by cyclone Gaja, return to normalcy soon! 

Love Transcends All Boundaries

The Kerala floods last month had a devastating effect on the state and its people, but what emerged when a whole state submerged, was the power of ‘Humanity’. In the days following the aftermath of the incessant rains and floods in the latter half of the last month in Kerala, emerged stories of human kindness, compassion and unity that was enough to warm the hearts of everyone in rain dampened Kerala. The whole world witnessed how Humanity shone through even as the state was grappling with a disaster that had brought the lives of everyone in the state to a standstill.

Some very heart-warming tales of the champions of humanity from the Kerala floods below:

Fishermen or Super-Men?

As the Kerala Police, Indian Air Force, Indian Army, Indian Navy and NDRF put their full might into rescue operations to help people stranded in flooded areas to safety, they received a back-up rescue team who had no uniforms, but who exhibited the same courage and valour as the officers, to rescue their fellow beings, even as they struggled to make ends meet – The Fishermen of Kerala. What sets their story apart from anyone else’s is that they did it out of their own will, without any compulsion and without expecting anything in return, but just out of their love for the people around them. They were able to rescue much more people than all the service personnel as they were able to go where most personnel could not even reach. One very special moment was when a fisherman offered his back to people to board a rubber boat as they were unable to get into the boat without a platform.

Face of God

One look at the photo below is enough to melt anyone’s heart. The picture of a policeman holding a baby rescued from a flooded area shared by the Twitter handle of Indian Police Service Association, moved many to tears, as the officer was holding the baby as if it were his own, saving it from the pouring rains, even as he was getting completely drenched. If you ever wondered if God exists, one look at the picture is enough to make you believe that God exists – in everyone who has compassion in their heart and if you want to see how He looks like, then you need not look any further than this picture. Undoubtedly one of the most touching images from the Kerala floods.

Angels from the sky

When a pregnant woman in her due date got stranded in her house due to the floods, angels descended from the sky in the form of officers of Indian Navy who airlifted her and flew her to safety where she gave birth to a very healthy baby boy. The Indian Navy and Indian Air Force airlifted many such stranded people who badly needed medical attention and saved several lives during the floods. The commoners who were rescued owed their lives to them, but how do they convey that to the officers who were on back-to-back rescue missions? So , they did this. The officers were in for a very sweet surprise the next day as they started their  rescue work!

The little girl with a big heart

Anupriya, an eight year old girl from Tamil Nadu won hearts across the nation, by her beautiful gesture of kindness and compassion, when she contributed her piggy bank money that she had been saving up to buy a bicycle, to the Kerala distress relief fund. Such a selfless act at such a tender age, Anupriya is a real hero! With children like Anupriya who exhibit such humane characteristics at such a tender age, we can be rest assured that the future of our nation looks very promising. 

Netizens to saviours

From using the Internet for trolling others to using Internet for saving lives, the young netizens of Kerala showed that there is more to them than just memes and trolls. When the entire state was struggling to come to terms with the tragedy that had struck them unexpectedly, these young guns in no time, channelled their networking skills to provide a platform to facilitate relief and rescue operations. Facebook and WhatsApp suddenly turned into control centres – a place for sharing locations of stranded people who needed to be rescued, to pass on important contact numbers, to share details of relief camps, to alert people, to guide them, and to motivate them. Many lives were saved thanks to these sharing platforms and to the tireless efforts of the tech-savvy millennials who put their life into what they do best!

And finally the unsung heroes – You and me, The Common Man.

We came across many stories of heroism, courage, extra-ordinary efforts and compassion during the recent floods in Kerala. We came across stories of many nations, states, organisations and prominent personalities offering help to Kerala in the form of money and resources. They are all heroes, no doubt. However, there are a lot of unsung heroes too , whose acts are no less significant than that of the others. They may not have superior powers or characteristics to talk for hours about, but they too have the spark of humanity in them and it shines through in their actions too. The unsung heroes of the flood - the common man like you and me, who showed that there is a hero in all of us by contributing in whatever small way possible to making a difference in the lives of all those who were affected by the floods in Kerala.

Among those unsung heroes are the IndianOil officers in Kerala State Office, who worked relentlessly during the floods to ensure that our Terminals, Depots, Bottling plants and Aviation Fuel Stations were operating smoothly to provide fuel to the rescue choppers and vehicles and all the relief camps so that rescue and relief operations went on uninterrupted. The families of the officers who had turned their homes into a nodal centre for preparing and dispatching materials to relief camps also deserve a very special mention for their contributions. And so do all the delivery boys, distributors, dealers and Retail Outlet Customer Attendants who went beyond their call of duty to ensure that supply of fuel was not interrupted at any cost, as timely availability of fuel meant saving several lives, at that point of time. 

Well, the above were stories that I had come to know through social media, news, colleagues, friends and family. However, recently I happened to get to know two such stories personally. I was in for a pleasant surprise a few days ago, when I got a call from one of my distributors in Tiruvaur district (one of the districts in my sales area) informing me that all the Indane distributors of the district had collected Rs. 1,00,000 for contributing to the Kerala Chief Minister’s Distress Relief Fund. As their officer, I couldn’t help but feel proud of the fact that there was so much kindness and compassion in them; and as a Keralite, I was extremely touched and moved by their gesture of voluntarily coming forward to help people from a different state. Shortly after that, I came to know that all Indane distributors of Cuddalore district also had already contributed relief materials worth Rs. 1,00,000 to the flood affected people in Kerala. Indane distributors of Trichy area office of IndianOil have always shown great interest in supporting humanitarian causes, of that I was aware, but by extending support to people of a neighbouring state, they have showed that they are “Pehle Indian, Phir Oil”. From all these stories, one thing is very clear – Love knows no boundaries. Love for one’s fellow beings, kindness and compassion, these are emotions that transcend all boundaries. The unprecedented support that Kerala received from all corners of the country and the world, in the past few weeks bears testimony to that.

Indane Distributors of Tiruvarur handing over a D.D of Rs. 1,00,000 towards Kerala CMDRF to The District Collector Tiruvarur, Shri Nirmal Raj (left), Indane Distributors of Cuddalore handing over relief materials worth Rs. 1,00,000 to the Cuddalore District Collectorate (right)

I have just shared with all of you, a few stories of human love and compassion during and after the Kerala floods that I am aware of, but there are so many that I am not aware of, which may be even more heart-warming and inspiring than the ones that I know. May all such stories be told, be shared. May all those heroes and their inspiring acts be celebrated, as they all serve as reminders to many of us, who in this fast paced world of ours, have forgotten that human mind is capable of so much love and compassion and that wonders result when our actions are driven by a mind filled with love and compassion.

On this Teacher’s Day, along with thanking our teachers from school and college, and our mentors at work, let us also thank all these heroes, as they have also taught us precious lessons in humanity, lessons that will stay with us for a lifetime!

The Deluge – Of Distress, Dilemma and Determination

Water, they say, is the elixir of life. But as the popular saying in Malayalam goes “Adhikamayal Amruthavum Visham”, which roughly translates to “If in excess, even nectar is poisonous”; it is both saddening and frightening, that the very life-giving elixir or nectar that is water, can be a destroyer of lives, when it is in excess. This saying could not be more apt to describe the situation that prevails across the state of Kerala now. My home, ‘God’s Own Country’ Kerala, is witnessing the worst rains and floods, ever, in its history and is reeling under the havoc that it has caused. Kerala is battling an enemy that was once its friend. It is battling an element of nature that happens to be the very reason that endears Kerala to almost everyone – “Water”. Yes, water, which has given Kerala its breathtakingly beautiful backwaters, lakes, waterfalls and lagoons; which has given Kerala its beauty, its greenery, and its prosperity.

Heavy and incessant rains in the state over the past many days, have resulted in widespread waterlogging, flooding of rivers and lakes, and landslides across the state affecting almost everyone in the state. Hundreds of lives have been lost, many houses and property has been damaged, and many businesses badly hit. Rains have wreaked havoc across the state, making the lives of people in the state miserable. Rail, road and flight connectivity to certain parts of Kerala have been disrupted – partially to completely in some areas. Power supply is mostly intermittent. Schools have been given holidays, shops and offices shut. A major airport like Cochin International Airport Limited has been closed for an entire week, due to flooding in its runways. Major railway stations and many portions of the railway tracks are entirely submerged. Roads have been damaged and public transport affected. Life has pretty much come to a standstill in Kerala. Yes, it is true, Kerala is witnessing a situation it has never witnessed before in history, and it is one that all of us from Kerala, would never want anyone to face, ever, in their lives. 

There is despair, there is helplessness, there is a sense of fear that is prevalent among all Keralites, and it does not just include those who are living in Kerala, it is also the situation of all Keralites across the world, who are living outside Kerala, but who have friends and family back in Kerala, and who are concerned about the safety and well-being of their dear ones back home. While it is very evident - the distress of those who are in Kerala, the agony of those Keralites who live outside the state is hardly noticed by anyone. Theirs is a dilemma like none other. The very reasons that keep them away from their homes, be it work or career or studies, it is during times like these that they feel that, maybe, they are paying a huge price for putting those reasons above friends and family. You know that back home, things are difficult, but you are totally helpless, because you have a job to do, and you have responsibilities that you simply cannot ignore. As someone who is living away from home for work, I cannot even begin to describe how much it breaks my heart, to not be there for my parents back home in Kerala, during this time. Getting to my hometown of Cochin seems to be a near to impossible task now with air, rail and road connectivity to Cochin completely disrupted. The only solace in all this despair is that telecommunication links are up and hence I keep getting constant updates from them over the phone. If people back home are under both physical and emotional distress, those away from home are only under emotional distress, that’s the only difference. Well, I am not the only one who is in the same situation, as I could see from the desperation on the faces of the friends of mine, Keralites who, like me, are working in Thanjavur, Tamil Nadu, and whose families are back home in Kerala, that the feeling is mutual. I guess, it is the same for all Malayalees who are away from home, irrespective of where they are in this world, everyone is concerned, but at the same time completely helpless.

Yes, this deluge has been one that has caused many of us a lot of distress, but it is also one that has posed a great dilemma of sorts for me, and I guess for Keralites all over the world – of what is more important, development or a perfect harmony with nature or how much development is good development and how much is bad. Some say that at the root of all this destruction caused by rains and floods, is man’s greed for more comforts, convenience, and progress. In the name of urbanization and development, nature has been compromised, there is no denying that. Maybe, this is nature’s way of retaliating to the damage we caused to her. Every time there is a natural disaster of such huge magnitude, the debates on environmentalism and urbanization get triggered and these debates will keep going on, but the important question that goes unanswered every time is, where does one draw the line between the two? How does one strike a perfect balance between development and harmony with nature? One may debate about how building flats and houses by clearing water bodies, has upset the lives of many, but think about a family that finally got a roof over their head or a place to call their own due to that, aren’t their needs justified? But at the same time, how does one console someone who has lost their home to the floods which was perhaps an indirect result of all this rapid urbanization and development. Is there a solution that can guarantee development but not at the cost of nature? I hope we find some answers to these questions, before it is too late.

And as far as Keralites living outside Kerala, like me are concerned, the deluge also poses another dilemma of sorts for us, of what is more important – one’s career, ambitions and aspirations or one’s family. Why is it that even when we are forced to live away from the very people who are the reason why we live, we still choose to do that, be it for earning a living or building a career or any reason whatsoever. Why do we still make the choices that we make, even when we know that it breaks our hearts, each and every time we get up to leave home and each and every time we say ‘Good bye’ to our dear ones. But, in the end is it all worth it, if one cannot be there for their dear ones at a time when they need your support the most. Well, it is a dilemma that I am sure everyone who has stayed away from home, at least once in their lives, would have faced. Some of us live with it, every day.  

However, amidst all this distress and dilemma, if there is something that is very heartening, it is that, this deluge has once again strengthened my faith in humanity. I have been in a similar situation about four years ago, around this time of the year. It was the floods in Jammu and Kashmir in the year 2014 when I and my family got stranded in Jammu and Kashmir due to heavy rains. It was an experience that taught me a lot of lessons in life. The current situation in Kerala, reminds me of those lessons learnt. The floods in Kerala have taught not just me, but everyone affected, the value of life, the unpredictability of life. It has taught us what really matters in life and what doesn’t. It has helped us emerge as better human beings, it has taught us the values of sharing and caring for each other, and of looking beyond caste, colour, creed, and religion. From total strangers offering help to one another to friends and family, who have not been in touch for years, calling each other up to enquire if everything is alright and if anyone needs help, this deluge has united everyone in Kerala. It has also brought out the best qualities in everyone. I am now more assured than ever that there is more love in this world than there is hate. When I see people empathize with all those who have been affected by the floods, shed a tear for them and offer them help, I am reassured that kindness and compassion still hold a major place in people’s hearts. Above all, I find that there is a fierce determination among all Keralites, that nothing will dampen their spirits, neither rains nor floods. Kerala is determined to rise above the situation and I am sure we will emerge victorious.

It is ironic that it is that time of the year in Kerala when it supposed to be at its most beautiful, when Keralites are supposed to be at their joyous best, it is the time for Onam festivities in Kerala now (for those of you who do not know, Onam is a festival celebrated by all Keralites across the world, with great fervour, and it has celebrations and festivities lasting ten days, and during which families gets together and rejoice, to welcome Lord Mahabali who once ruled Kerala and who is believed to come visit Kerala every year during this time to see if everyone in his kingdom is doing well). Every Malayalee has fond memories of Onam, be it the Ona Sadhya (a feast with all special delicacies of Kerala), or Ona Pookkalam (a floral carpet prepared in every home to welcome Lord Mahabali), or that slight drizzle during Onam celebrations that often spoils our Pookkalams and Ona Kodis (it’s a tradition to buy new clothes to wear during Onam, they call these dresses ‘Ona Kodi’ in Kerala). Who would have thought that those friendly drizzles, which add to the beauty of Onam, would be replaced by fierce and incessant rains this time around? I guess, it is destiny. That’s how life is, one has to learn to accept that everyone gets their due share of happiness, and their due share of sadness, in this life. We do not have control over when we get our shares of happiness and sadness, but what we do have control over, is to not let sadness bog us down or happiness make us take life for granted.

It is also during times like these, that one realizes that life is too short to be lived hating or despising one another and holding grudges or regrets. Instead it is to be lived helping one another, being of good cheer and doing good work that benefits everyone around us. Kerala is in need of help and it will take more than just tremendous will power, determination and hard work to help the people of Kerala get back to normalcy. It would require a lot of resources to do so. Hence, if anyone who is reading this, is in a position to help Kerala Government in their flood relief efforts, please make sure to send in your contributions, small or big, to the Kerala Chief Minister’s relief fund, by following the link below. All contributions to the fund are 100% tax-exempted.

https://donation.cmdrf.kerala.gov.in/

However, if you are not in a position to help someone financially, it is fine, you can say a silent prayer for all those who have been affected by the floods, or just speak a word of reassurance to that friend, colleague or acquaintance of yours, who is a Malayalee. I am sure it would make a world of difference to them.

Being a public servant, I have come across many situations in my work life, when people have thanked me and said “God bless You”, in return for some work that I had done for them, as part of my duty, but I used to reply to them with a “Thanks” and tell them that I am just doing my job and I do it without expecting anything in return – be it praise or blame, rewards or recognitions. But now, I do feel that I could use some of those blessings, to help keep those who are back home, and it is not just my friends and family, but everyone in Kerala, safe and sound, especially those officers of Kerala Police, Kerala State Electricity Board, Indian Navy, Indian Air Force, National Disaster Response Force, local administration and all volunteers, who are braving all odds and risking their lives to save those in distress. Let us all unite in prayer for Kerala, let us pray that Kerala emerges from this deluge, more determined and strong. Let us pray that everyone in Kerala comes out of this situation more brave and courageous, more humble and thankful, more mindful and helpful, and above all else, more kind and human.

Equations for life from ‘The Gita’: The Gates to Hell

A life beyond this life, well, I am not very certain about that, if there awaits us a “heaven” or “hell” after life as we know it. However, I do believe that there is “heaven” and “hell” in this life itself, and of that I am certain. It’s entirely up to us, how we want our life on earth to be – like heaven or like hell.

Trust the Bhagavad Gita to give you answers to how one can avoid the misery of hell in this life and afterwards. According to the Gita there are three gates that lead to hell. And it can be very well summarized by the below equation.

Hell is a union of ‘Lust’, ‘Anger’ and ‘Greed’. If anyone has any one of these qualities, then they can be rest assured of a place in hell after-life. I am not sure about “after-life” part, but I am sure that their life on earth would also be no different to hell, because all three are qualities that ruins one’s peace of mind and are sure to guarantee a hell on earth.

Lust and greed for materialistic things, often leads to huge disappointments, quarrels and losses. History stands testimonial to the fact that lust and greed end in great misery. So many wars were fought in man’s desire for more and so many lives lost and irreparable damages caused. However, even now I find that many have not learnt lessons from the past. Increasing stories of cruelties committed in the name of lust and greed appearing in the news makes me think, why do some people not understand that they are inviting hell into their lives. Those who have lust and greed often lead miserable lives. Even if they manage to get what they lust or greed for, they still would not be happy, for they fear losing it and worse still are never really satisfied with what they get. They are never content. As a result of their never ending desire for more, their world is one filled with chaos and is no different from hell. Whereas if we look at the life lead by someone who is always content with what he/she gets and is not greedy for more, we find that they are always at peace and happy. For such people, this world itself is equivalent to heaven. Lust and greed are two gates which I will never find myself in, as I am very content, a trait which I have inherited from my parents and grandparents, who I find to be the most content people on earth. However it is the third gate that I am trying to avoid, but have not been able to completely avoid – Anger.

Greed and Lust were something that I knew would make life miserable, but there was one thing which I was not aware of which was equally bad for one’s peace of mind – the third gate to “hell”, Anger. Had it not been for the Bhagavad Gita, I would never have known that Anger too is a gate to hell. It always amazes me, when I see some people maintain their calm during arguments, even when they know they are right and others are wrong. How someone can stay unperturbed even in situations that can make a “Hulk” out of the calmest persons, is something which is beyond me. I am someone who has had problems with controlling anger and I guess that is also why ‘Hulk’ happens to be my favourite super hero; I can relate with the “You won’t like me when I am angry” part, indeed. Although the instances when I lose my temper are very rare, when it happens, it often is very bad.

Off-late, I have realised that anger is self-consuming. When one is angry at someone, one often ends up hurting oneself more than the other person. It overpowers ones senses and makes everything a blur, and the results – taking wrong decisions, doing or saying things that permanently damage relationships, and stress! Anger is beyond doubt a contributor to making life miserable. Though I have slowly started making conscious attempts at controlling my anger, I cannot say that I have completely mastered the art of keeping cool. However, nowadays, I handle situations that make me angry much better than I used to earlier and that is an improvement. It won't be long before I completely get rid of the green monster in me, of that I am confident! I have learnt that sometimes in life, it makes sense to let go, to forget and forgive and move on, especially when it comes to choosing how one wants life to be – like heaven or like hell, and I choose the former.

We only live once, and we have the power to make our lives better or worse, by the choices we make. Saying no to things like lust, anger and greed or for that matter anything that takes a toll on one’s peace of mind, can surely guarantee a life that is heaven on earth itself, and if there is a life after death, then there too!