Undefeated

“Failure is the stepping stone to success” – My first tryst with this age old adage was many years ago, when I was in school. It was the moral studies class in school and we students were all ears to our teacher as she taught us this lesson in moral science. Back then, for us, it was just a sentence which we had to learn by-heart to get good grades in the moral studies class. However, years later, after a fair share of victories and defeats in life, I realized the significance of that sentence in my life.

There have been countless instances where I met with failure in life;however there are three which I believe are the ones that have had the greatest impact in my life and which I feel are worth sharing with everyone. Each of them belongs to three different phases of my life.

At School: That first encounter with failure

As a student in school, I always excelled in studies. My interest in learning coupled with my perseverance kept translating into good grades year after year at school. My parents and teachers were proud of me and they were confident that I would ace all the exams I gave. Life was going great for me, until the tenth board exams happened. The much revered (and equally dreaded) board exams were considered to be the deciders of the future course of our lives. Like all students, I too was nervous, but my greatest fear was not that of failing the exam, but something else. My parents and teachers were sure that I would not only pass the exam, but also secure one of the top ranks in the exam. I studied, much harder than I ever had in all my years in school, and gave my board exams. I passed the exam with very good marks, but my marks were not good enough to make it to the top ranks. After being the topper of every class, year after year at school, I failed at a juncture where it mattered to me the most. I felt that all my efforts had been in vain, I had disappointed everyone who believed that I was capable of something more than just passing the exam. Angry, disappointed, dejected, I prayed for a miracle to turn back time so that I could fix whatever it was then went wrong with the way I gave my exams. With much pain, I realized that I had lost the opportunity forever and there was nothing I could do to change that. I had passed the exam, but I had failed – failed my parents, failed my teachers, and failed myself. It was the first of the many encounters that I was to have with failure later on in life.

At the First job: When starry-eyes turned moist

Ranks kept eluding me even after school. I graduated from engineering college with a distinction, but no rank, yet again! However I had no reason to be sad, because I had managed to make it into one of my dream companies, during the campus placements in college. I was elated at the idea of becoming a part of the company that I had always dreamt of working with. I remember the first day in office when we, the company’s new recruits, the ‘crème de la crème’ of the best engineering colleges in South India, took our first steps into the corporate world. We were a group of starry-eyed youngsters, fresh out of our engineering colleges, hoping to make a brilliant start to our career. All of us worked hard to complete the three month long training program with flying colors. However on the day of completion of the training period, we were told that our training period had been extended and that we were to go through more evaluations in the coming days, the performance in which, would eventually decide our future in the company. “Recession” – a term that we had only heard about till date, had become a reality. Our company was badly affected by the recession in the year of 2008. The company was not in a position to on-board all the recruits at the end of the extended training period, so they decided to retain the top few recruits and lay-off the rest, and I belonged to the latter. The truth that I had lost my job had not dawned on me, until one of the H.R team members asked us to enter our resignations in the company portal on that last day in office. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that my career had ended even before it had actually begun. With moist eyes and a heavy heart, I entered my resignation in the employee portal. I felt that my life had suddenly come to a standstill. That starry-eyed girl who had dreams of reaching great heights in her career was lost; she had fallen into a deep abyss of despair. 

After M.B.A: When life changed

The year was 2013 and the venue was my M.B.A College. I was attending the interview for the post of Management Trainee in one of the leading Telecom Operators in the country . My interview went well. My joy knew no bounds when I came to know that I had been selected for the job. After completing my M.B.A, I joined the company. We trainees spent the first few months in the organization learning and working on internal projects. However the real work began, when we were assigned to various districts in Kerala. I was assigned to a district that was far from home, which meant that I had to stay away from home. Just when I had begun to accept the new place and its people, I was assigned my new role of a Service Center Coordinator. The role required me to handle the service related aspects of various franchisee owned service outlets in the zone. It involved managing collection, reducing churn, improving C-SAT (Customer Satisfaction), ensuring showroom profitability, reducing complaints, increasing walk-ins, driving sales of products and services, among many other responsibilities which were not included in our job responsibilities, but which we were expected to do. A few days into the job, I realized that I totally disliked my job. After completing my M.B.A, I was expecting a job that would be all about doing analysis, making power point presentations and being part of strategic decision making discussions, and here I was standing with folded hands in front of irate customers and disgruntled franchisees hurling abuses at me. I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my first job after an M.B.A was a far cry from what I had imagined it would be. With a total lack of interest in the job, I felt like a spent force, towards the end of a year into the job. I felt that I had failed again in life; despite of having worked so hard during my M.B.A I had ended up in a job, that least interested me.

Well, those were the three stories of my encounters with failure, which I wanted to share with everyone. Every encounter with failure hurt, however each of them taught me a lesson that would help me get the better of failure later on in life. I would like to share ten such lessons that I learnt from life, and which I like to call my ‘Ten Commandments for staying Undefeated’. 

Lesson #1: Do not fear failure

Many years since school, I analysed what went wrong with my tenth board exams. I realized that my failure was not due to lack of effort, as I had put in more effort than usual in my tenth grade. If there was one factor that differentiated my tenth grade from all other years at school, it was the burden of expectations that my parents and teachers had thrust upon me. They expected me to get top ranks in the exam. The fear of failing to live up to their expectations, put me under tremendous pressure, during the exams. In the end, the fear of failure got the better of me and I failed to achieve what I had wanted to achieve very badly – a rank in the exam. It took me years to realize the fact that the fear of failure is often the very cause of failure. One way in which I overcame my fear of failure was through sports. Sports taught me the art of being graceful even in defeat; it taught me to look at failure as not an end, but as an opportunity to learn how to do better later on.

Lesson #2: Be a student all your life

This is a lesson that I learnt from my second major encounter with failure, when I lost my first job. I realized that we live in a highly competitive world that lives by the motto – Survival of the “Smartest”. I realized that hard work alone doesn’t suffice in today’s world; one had to be smart, and to be smart, one had to keep learning and evolve with the changing times. I understood that there is no dearth of opportunities in this world for people who are willing to work hard, for people who are willing to learn.The key to surviving in this highly volatile world is to follow what Steve Jobs said, “Stay hungry, Stay foolish”.

Lesson #3: Do not look for instant gratification

Looking for instant gratification for efforts, will most often leave one disappointed. Sometimes, it takes years to finally get to where one wants to reach. A mistake that most people often make is that of giving up mid-way or at the first sign of failure.The key is to keep going at all times. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, Failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts”.  Patience, perseverance and a ‘never-say-die’ attitude will keep you going till you reach your final destination, and once you’re there, should there be any looking back! 

 

Lesson #4: Build a support-system

Just as a cushion reduces the impact of a fall, a strong support system protects you when you hit a low in your life. Surround yourselves with friends, family, teachers, people who adore you. At times when you are feeling down, there is nothing more reassuring, than that friend or loved one telling you “Don’t worry. It’s going to be alright.” Having a great support system helps make the pain of a failure more bearable.

Lesson #5: Learn to believe

‘Belief’ is a very strong word. I have seen it work wonders in a person’s life. A person with a strong belief – be it belief in God, belief in destiny, belief in oneself, or belief in some super power that controls the world, is very hard to defeat. While there are many things in life that we can control, there are a lot of things over which we have absolutely no control. It is always good to believe that there is a God or some mysterious super power out there to take care of those which are not in our control, for us. If one does not believe in God or destiny, a strong belief in oneself, would also do. They say, “Man can move mountains by faith”. A person, who is a true believer, remains unperturbed even in the midst of failure.

Lesson #6: Offer a helping hand

In my school and college days, I remember that whenever our teachers made student groups for group assignments, they made it in such a way that every group had a bright student and a student who wasn’t very good at studies. They used to ask the bright students of the group to help the weak students with their assignments. It is something which we can replicate in our personal and professional lives. Take some time out of your busy schedule to help someone, because if there is something equally rewarding, if not more rewarding than one’s own success, it is being instrumental in the success of another person. Help someone achieve their dreams – sponsor a child, volunteer to teach underprivileged children, offer guidance to someone who is need of it, even a seemingly simple act of just being there for someone when they need you, will leave you feeling elated. 

Lesson #7: Know that you are not alone

History stands testimonial to the fact that failure is a stepping stone to success. Take some of the most famous names in history – Albert Einstein, Charlie Chaplin, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, J.K Rowling, Silvester Stallone, or our very own Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, everyone has failed at some point or the other in their lives.  They failed, but they picked themselves up, and emerged stronger than ever after every defeat, and finally made it big in life. Whenever you feel that you have failed, just think about all these beautiful people, and you will realize that you are not alone.

Lesson #8: Give it up

The ‘Bhagavad Gita’ is a book that I always refer to when I feel the need for clarity in life. I would like to share one of my favorite lessons from the Gita that helped me overcome the fear of failure – ‘Abandon the desire for the fruits of your actions’. Very often one gets so attached to the results of one’s actions that the fear of not achieving it overpowers our actions, which ultimately results in our failure. However, when we give up the desire for enjoying the results of our actions, we are not concerned about success or failure, and this indifference eliminates our fear of failure. Never give up action, but give up the desires for its results, and you will find yourselves on the road to success! 

Lesson #9: Enjoy the ride

When one sets out on a journey to achieve something in life, one is not sure of how the journey will end – in victory or in defeat. Though one cannot predict the outcome of the journey, one can decide how they want the journey to be – they can either go through the journey worrying about the outcome, or they can choose to enjoy each and every moment of the ride. The choice is entirely up to the traveler! So enjoy the ride all along so that you have no regrets at the end of the journey.

Lesson #10: Master the art of ‘Equanimity’

Last but not the least, the key to remaining undefeated is to learn the art of ‘equanimity’. A person, who treats victory and defeat as the same, is neither overjoyed when successful, nor disappointed when unsuccessful.The one, who has learnt to master this evenness of mind, remains undisturbed even in the face of defeat.

Well, those are my ‘Ten Commandments’ towards combating failure and staying undefeated. The lessons that I learnt from each failure, helped me overcome failure at a later stage in life. I would like to share a few of those instances from life, where my past failures helped me defeat failure and emerge successful. 

After years of missing out on the top ranks in school and engineering college, I finally got my share of due credit in my B-School, as I completed my M.B.A with a rank in the university. What was different in M.B.A? Well many things, I had thoroughly enjoyed the whole process of learning while doing my M.B.A, I had totally let go of the desire to get a rank in the exams, and most importantly, I was not afraid of failure.

After I lost my first job, I was disappointed to the extent that I had started doubting my capabilities. But thanks to the support of my family and friends, who constantly kept reminding me that I was capable of achieving whatever I wanted in life, I regained my confidence. I went on to work for one of the leading software firms in the country, aced their training program for new recruits, won accolades for my work, and completed two years, before quitting to pursue my higher studies.

And what happened with my first job post M.B.A? Did I quit? I would have, had it not been for two noble souls in the organization who offered me a helping hand when I needed it most.They gave me some sound career advice, which made me rethink my decision to quit. They made me realize that I was wrong in looking for instant gratification – a job that was of my liking, in hardly a year into the organization. I could either quit my job, which was the easiest way out of the situation, or I could do my job with such dedication and passion that I could prove that I was worthy of taking on that role of my liking within the organization. I chose the latter and here I am, about to complete three years in the organization! Yes, I had to wait for eighteen months to get a role change, but I have no regrets, because I learnt a great deal about managing people during my tenure as a Store Coordinator. Those eighteen months helped me make the transition from an engineer to a manager. It also served as a good learning platform for me as I learnt more about the telecom industry during my tenure in the role. Now when I look back, I realize the importance of a field experience in laying a strong foundation to one's career in any industry and I thank the organization for having given us new recruits such an experience very early on in our career. 

Well, that brings me to the end of this article. In life, we win some battles, we lose some, but we just have to keep going, no matter what happens. The only thing that we do need to remember at all times is that nothing in this world, no failure, no loss is big enough to stop us from living life happily. Every moment in life is to be celebrated and cherished because we will never get it back. Success and failure are both transient, so why worry? I would like to conclude this article, with yet another quote from the ‘Bhagavad Gita’ – “Never in this world is a sincere person defeated”. So, here’s to the spirit of staying sincere in our efforts and here’s to the spirit of staying ‘Undefeated’!