Recently, I celebrated my mother's sixtieth birthday. I didn't leave any stone unturned to make the day special for her, got her a beautiful cream and red (my mother's favourite colour combination) coloured Kanchipuram Silk Saree, (which by the way I had zeroed in on, after hours of looking at practically every available saree in the 'Nalli' silks store at Chennai, and much to the relief of the salesperson at the store who wished she never had to attend to a customer like me, anytime in the near future!), took her to the temple, went out for dinner, ordered all her favourites, basically did all the things that make her happy. However, I still felt that something was amiss. I got thinking, everything that I had done would have made her happy, but I knew that her true happiness was not in any of these materialistic things. What could I do to make her really happy? She loves it, when I write, because she knows that writing makes me extremely happy. So, on her birthday, I decided that I will take writing a little more seriously, devote more time to it, than I usually used to (it is hard balancing a physically and mentally demanding job and one's passion, but I realized that it was not impossible!). That's when this idea struck me. Of starting a series of blogs on "Letters". I have always believed that, words that are straight from one's heart always touch another's, and what better way to express one's feelings and thoughts than a 'letter'. So here is presenting the very first blog post in the series, one that I dedicate to my mother, as she has been the inspiration behind this one.
A Letter to all my young sisters:
My dear young sisters,
Let me begin by telling you that you are special. Though, there will be many who will try to tell you otherwise, believe me when I say that. You may not realize it straightaway, but as you grow up, you will understand why. You may not have it as easy as your brothers, but you will still overcome all odds and make it on your own, but for that you must believe that you are special.
You may grow up listening to, or reading fairy tales, stories of princesses waiting for their "Prince Charming"s, or damsels in distress waiting to be rescued by some "Knight in Shining Armour". But these are tales, these are stories that are a figment of someone's imagination, they are not real, hence don't let these stories make you believe that every girl is a "Damsel in Distress" and needs a "Prince Charming" or a "Knight in Shining Armour" to save her or rescue her. Do not let these stories make you believe that the very purpose of your life is to have an ending that says, "The prince and the princess lived happily ever after". There is more to life than that. Know that you are not weak or inferior. Know that you do not need any "Prince" to help you, when you have it in you to be your own "Prince" and your own "Knight". You only have to believe. Leave fairy tales for bedtime, but for all other times, read stories of real woman who have made their mark in the world, on their own; let their stories be your guiding light, and let them be your 'Sheroes'.
There will come several times in your life, when others will try to let you down, when they will make remarks that hurt you, that demean you, there may be moments that bring you to tears, but let not their remarks or your tears, slow you or stop you, you were born to fly, and fly you will, above them all. There will be times when you feel that the world around you is not safe for you, but do not let that define your boundaries, do not let fear confine you, go the distance, make your mark in the world, be brave.
There will be people who will force you into believing that a woman has to get married to survive in this world. Do not let them misguide you. Get married, only when you want to, not because you have to. Get married, only when you find the person who is worthy of your time, who is worthy of spending a lifetime with. Remember that, the one who you marry will be the first man in your daughter's life. He will be your daughter's 'Hero', the concept of how an ideal man should be. Do not let her down.
A very large part of what I am today, is because of two people, who are the wind beneath my wings, my father and my mother. My father, is my superhero, my first love, my role model for all good virtues in a human being. He is the one who gave me the freedom to follow my dreams, who always motivated me to be honest, sincere and hardworking, and to be fearless and independent. My mother is an inspiration to me as to how an ideal woman should be - independent, bold, and strong, but at the same time, affectionate, empathetic and kind. After my parents, the ones who have had the greatest influence on me are my teachers. From school to engineering college to B-School, teachers have played an important role in making me what I am today. If at home, my parents were my guiding light, outside home, my teachers were my guiding light. Had it not been for their guidance, support and inspiration, I would not have become half the person that I am today.
Remember, my dear little sisters, in your life too you will come across people who will be your guiding light, who will show you the right way, it can be your parents, your teachers, your elders. Remember to hold them close and never let them down. Just like they showed you the way when it was dark, be with them when they need you, do not let go. The best gift you can give them, sometimes could be your mere presence.
Someday, many years later, when you are old, and you are at home, relaxing on a chair, perhaps watching your grand children play, and you look back at life, you will realize that your journey had been tough, but you still made it, despite all odds, and that you don't have the slightest hatred for those who tried to pull you down or who made the journey tough for you, but you only have love for them and all those who are around you; on that day my dear little ones, you will realize, that you are truly special, because no one can love, forgive and care like a woman. Being a woman is special, you may not realize it now, but someday you will, and trust me, it is a beautiful feeling.
Love,
R.J
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