Live and let live

A couple of weeks ago, the first episode in the second season of Amir Khan's TV Show 'Satya Mev Jayate' went on air, and I was among the many viewers who were glued to the T.V screen waiting in anticipation as to what the new season had in store for us. A few minutes into the show and I was getting uncomfortable. I was undecided between reaching for the remote to turn off the T.V and continuing to watch the show. I was struggling to fight back tears as the narrator went on narrating one incident after the other - real life incidents of atrocities against women, atrocities of such heinous nature that it could make one shudder at the very thought of it. As the show ended, I couldnt but help feel angry, disgusted and alarmed at the plight of women in our country.

I guess a women's struggle begins very early on in life, even before she is born, not all mothers are fortunate enough to bring a baby girl into the world, what with the increasing number of gender selective abortions. From childhood you are told that you are a girl and there are a lot of limitations to been a girl. You are taught a list of things that you are supposed to do and also a list of things that you are not supposed to do and the justifications for the same. You refuse to accept them and you are labelled a rebel, and in most cases you are reprimanded. All these Do's and Dont's become so ingrained in the girl's mind that by the time she grows up, she no longer wants to question why is it so. 

If there is one thing that plays the most critical role in changing the girl's outlook towards life, I would say it is 'education'. Nothing empowers a women more than education. It changes the way she thinks, it gives her the conviction to have faith in her strengths, to pursue her ambitions, and to find her rightful place in the world. However her journey is not easy. At every stage in her life, she has to fight to prove to the world what she is worth; she has to battle it out against people who ridicule her, people who try to let her down, people who treat her badly, and people who hurt her with their words and deeds. However every once in a while you do come across people who lend you a helping hand rather than wait for an opportunity to let you down. Despite of all the hardships, she succeeds, no matter how many times you let her down, she gathers herselves and comes back stronger than ever, such is the strength of a woman!

I might be offending many women who are reading this, but I am not of the opinion that men and women are equal in all ways; men do enjoy certain privileges that we women can never dream of, but that does not, in any way, make women inferior to men. Personally, I feel that women, even though they are portrayed to be more emotional and sensitive than their male counterparts, are better at handling emotions. They usually have been through so many emotional struggles that they can better handle emotional situations than men. They also are better task masters than men, as they are used to juggling too many things at a time and hence have mastered that art of managing many tasks with ease. They add more color to your life, they can bring you up when you are feeling down, and they really mean it when they say "I'll take care of you". Care and affection come so naturally to women. I always wonder how could someone ever be rude to a woman. 

As women, we are not asking for respect or any sort of special consideration. The only thing we ask for is a right to live happily, peacefully, and without any fear. Today, when a girl leaves home, she herself is not sure as to what awaits her, what ordeals she has to go through to get through the day, or whether she would be able to make it back home safely. Amidst all the celebrations and hype surrounding The International Women's Week, I was wondering, what is it that today's women is trying to tell the whole world, is it that "Look, I have come a long way" or is it "Take a look at what I have achieved", well it might be, but I guess the strongest message that every woman wishes to send to the whole world today (and I guess since time immemorial) is a very simple one "Live and let live". 

Love is in the Air, and if it is not, it is Despair

“Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine”, as Humphrey Bogart delivers one of Hollywood Cinema’s most memorable lines in the classic war-time love story ‘Casablanca’, one cannot but feel sad for the protagonist in the tale who is reunited with his lost love only to part ways again, and more so if one has been in love and lost their loved one. I have often wondered why destiny unites two people who were never meant to be together, gives them false hopes and happiness, and then takes it all away one fine day as they are forced to part ways, leaving them with nothing but memories of a time that they thought would last forever. I guess it is one of the harsh realities of life that one must learn to live with - not every love story has a happy ending.

Blame it on the movies that I have grown up watching and the books that I have read, I had always imagined love to be the way it is always portrayed in movies and written about in books – lovers who would fight against all odds to be together, and who would eventually ride into the sunset hand in hand, lovers who would sacrifice their lives for each other, and lovers who stay true to their love always. Cut to real life and those images of love that I had conjured up in my mind, all seems to fall apart. In today’s fast paced life, even love has taken a back-seat. Break-ups happen no sooner than two people fall in love with each. Many a times, the reason why a relationship fails is so trivial, that you are left wondering, was this love for real, because had it been so it would never have ended this way. “Move On” is what everyone seems to be saying, but is it as easy as it sounds? I have seen people “move on” without any effort, and then I have seen people who find it easier to go on living with the memories of their past than “move on”. We ourselves have complicated our lives. Hatred, animosity, rivalry, and ego have taken precedence over love. I always wonder whatever happened to those good old days, when two people met, fell in love, married each other and lived happily ever after. How I wish life could be that simple.

However not all hope is lost. Every once in a while you come across people whose stories resemble the ones that you have seen in movies, or the ones that you have read about in books, and who make you want to believe that “true love” does exist (and is not an oxymoron). In their stories, we also come across many where were destiny plays villain and separates the two, and that is the sad part.

I believe that Love is one’s greatest strength and Love is one’s greatest weakness. Without love, we just cannot survive. As Mother Teresa had rightly said “There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread”. Everyone wants to love and wants to be loved in return, but it is when we expect love in return that we become miserable. True love is when you love someone but do not expect anything in return. If you can love like that, then you will undoubtedly be the happiest person in this world. Hard as it seems, it definitely is worth trying. On that thought, here is wishing everyone a very happy Valentine’s Day! Here is to celebrating true and unconditional love!!

I am signing off this very special blog with one of my all-time favourite quote on love –

“Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.”

Here is to new beginnings!!

"It was the best of the times, it was the worst of the times", the opening sentence of the Charles Dickens classic 'A Tale of Two Cities' can best summarize the year 2013 for me. With only a few more hours remaining for the year to come to an end, I thought it would be a good idea to indulge in a little retrospection on the year that was.   

The year 2013 has been a very special one for me. It was a year that saw me as a student and as an earning member of the family. It saw me going from being a Graduate to a Post-Graduate. It saw me in three different places, from Coimbatore to Cochin to Thrissur. It was the year that gave me the opportunity to follow two of my greatest passions - music and writing. 

On the personal front, the year was a mixed bag with a lot of highs and an equal number of lows. The best part was my brother's marriage, one of the happiest moments of my life. Then there were not so happy moments too, when people whom you trusted and loved with all your heart abandoned you, leaving you in an abyss of despair. Then there were also instances where total strangers lent a helping hand at times when you had totally lost hope. The year saw many a teary farewell too, friends from college, with whom you had spent two years of your college life were departing and going their ways, colleagues at work were being transferred to different locations. 

On the professional front too, there were reasons to cheer as well as despair; from completing a post-graduate degree with an Eighth Rank in the University, to being stuck in a job that sucks the life blood out of you every single moment of the day, from Monday through Saturday (and occasionally on Sundays too), life on the professional front has been no less than a roller-coaster ride. With irate customers and bosses (goes without saying that they are irate!) breathing down your neck 24/7, and the ever expanding 'To Do' list on my computer, my work-life balance has gone for a toss. To top it all, I am even away from home. 

As I write this blog, all those events in the year that went by start to make sense. There were moments that made me laugh, there were moments that made me cry, there were moments when I felt that God had been very kind to me, and then there were moments that made me question God's ways. Now when I think about them, I realize they all served a purpose in my life. Had it not been for those events, I don't think the year would have been this memorable to me, it would also have gone down as just another year of my life. These events have made me strong, more determined and made me believe in this very powerful word - 'HOPE'. 

Last time, during this time of the year, when I prayed to God to make the year ahead, a very exciting and happening year for all, I had not known that God would make it this exciting for me. This time around, when I make a new year wish, I will have to be more specific in terms of my definition of 'exciting', because you never know how exciting God would make it, he may make it more exciting than you had actually wanted it to be. So here is to letting go of the past, here is to making a brand new start, here is to hoping for a better tomorrow, and here is to new beginnings. Happy New Year! God bless!

Signing off the last blog of the year with one of my favorite quotes: "Past is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, but Today is a Gift, that's why it is called the Present"

   

No free lunch

Disclaimer: This blog is strictly meant for those poor souls who are forced to stay miles away from their home in the rat race of life, and in the process are deprived of, perhaps the best food on earth - Mom's food. 

If you have stayed away from home at some point or the other in your life, I am sure that there would have been times when you missed home badly, wanted to pack all your stuff, leave everything you were doing and just head back home. Remember that time when you had fallen sick, but there was nobody near you to remind you to take medicines on time; or that time when you achieved something great and wanted to share it with your near and dear ones, but they were not by your side; or that time when you were feeling all down and dejected, but no one around to say "Don't worry. Everything will be alright." I have been staying away from home for the past five years, and I have had plenty of such instances!

The time when I miss home very badly is during afternoons at work. I would mostly be engrossed in some work or the other, when my colleagues ask me that inevitable question (which I have now come to dread), "Roshni, Aren't you having your lunch?", to which I reply with a "Yes, but not now, after some time" or "No, I am not hungry". It is usually followed by a "You should have food on time" or "Don't skip lunch. It's not good for health" from them and then they are on their ways to have their food, the lucky ones the food from their home and the not-so-lucky ones  the food from restaurants. A few minutes after, the office looks deserted, the sound of the mouse clicks, the keystrokes on the computer, and the printer is gone. There is an unusual calm in office. I close my eyes, and my mind drifts back to a typical afternoon at home, the amazing smells drifitng from kitchen, and yes Amma calling me to come and have lunch. The images of the hot steaming rice, the Pappadam, the buttermilk, and Amma serving the food come rushing into my mind. Just the thought itself makes my mouth water. I would be lost in my thoughts, when the access card reader beeps. My colleagues are back from lunch and before I know it, the calmness is gone, the madness is back and yes I realize, I have not had my lunch. Mostly I skip my lunch, but at times when I feel like I need a break from the madness at work, I take my bag and head out of office, more in search of a place to clear my head than in search of a place to have food. 

My usual haunts are the vegetarian restaurants in the city. Thank God for these restaurants; had it not been for them, I wonder what people like me would have done. No, I am not of the opinion that the food from restaurants is great or out of the world, but it does come as a solace at times. Be it the Hotel Saravana Bhavan hotels (very popular amongst Chennaiites) in Chennai, or the Pathans hotel in Thrissur, the ones which I consider my favourites, I have found that the food from the restaurants fills my stomach, but not my heart. Each time I pay the bill and walk out of a restaurant, I am reassured of the fact that my mother is the best cook in the world and no food can beat the taste of the food that she prepares, because she adds an ingredient to it that perhaps no one else does - Love.  

'There ain't no such thing as a free lunch' goes the popular quote and economic theory. Everything in life comes at a price. I too have paid a price for putting my career and job before my family - staying miles away from the people who mean the world to you, not being there for them at times when they need you the most, and the worst part of it all - being deprived of the best food in the world; I'd say that is a huge price to pay. 

After many years of staying away from home, I have learnt to live with the fact. I do miss home, especially the food. Every time I call home to tell my parents that I am coming home, my mother knows exactly what my next question would be, "Amma, What is there for dinner tonight?" As I write this, I have reached my home and had my dinner. Now that is what I call bliss - home and Mom's food. How I wish I could stay at home like this forever, but as the famous poem by Robert Frost goes, "But I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep".

Mall in the City

If you are a true blue Kochiite, chances are that, you will not return from a visit to the Lulu Mall, without bumping into at least one acquaintance of yours. It has happened to me every time I have been to the mall, not that I am complaining.

I had never really taken a liking towards shopping malls mushrooming in cities, nor had I been a person who used to frequent malls that often. Now when I come to think about it, I feel that may be I had been wrong about the whole “Mall” concept. I do not know whether these malls are good for our GDP, whether the economy benefits from it or not – those are topics better left for B-School aspirants to discuss during their Mock GDs or to people with better brains than me. However I do know one thing, if they have the power to bring people who are busy creating islands for themselves, then God bless the concepts of malls. 

There used to be a time, when the Marine Drive and Subhash Park were the most frequented places of a Kochiite. I used to, and I still love taking those walks alongside the backwaters in Marine Drive. But from the simplicity of the parks and the backwaters, now a new place has found prominence in the favourites list of Kochiites – ‘Lulu International Shopping Mall’. Whoever would have thought that a seemingly deserted piece of land in Edapally, would one day be home to the largest shopping mall in India!

“Want to watch a movie?”, “Want to meet up with friends?”, “Want to binge on great food?”, or “Want to shop for groceries?” – “Head to Lulu Mall” is the answer that you are most likely to get from a Kochiite nowadays for any of these questions. Weekday or weekend, morning or evening, Lulu is always bustling with people. The success of the mall can be attributed to many factors, state-of-the-art infrastructure, excellent management, and an experience that was totally new to Kochiites. There is something about Lulu Mall that attracts old and young alike. Lulu Mall in a way has redefined the image of malls from one that is youth centric to one that caters to the likes of all age groups. Grandparents with their grandsons and granddaughters are a common sight in the mall. I feel that the mall has been successful in attracting even the most reclusive Kochiite towards it.

What I like the most about the mall is the crowd in the mall. I like to believe that somewhere in that crowd, I will be able to find a familiar face; someone who I haven’t talked to or seen in a long while; someone to whom I would have said, “We will be in touch”, but to whom I could not have kept my word; someone near and dear to me, but who had just become a contact in Facebook or WhatsApp. The joy on seeing your long lost friend, or that distant relative of yours, or simply someone who you know, is unparalleled. I have experienced it many times in Lulu Mall. 

Though Lulu Mall can never oust Marine Drive from the top position on my list of favourite places in Cochin, it does give it a tough competition though. Long live Lulu Mall!

The journey comes to an end

The journey to Planet-E and back: A walk down memory lane

A series of blogs about my alma mater - Amrita School of Business(ASB) located in the beautiful village of Ettimadai which we Amritians fondly call ‘Planet-E’ and the happenings in the eventful two years of my life there.

The last one in the series.

The journey comes to an end

The day is October 11, 2013. As I pack my bags and get ready for my journey to Ettimadai for the convocation of our batch, my mind went back to that day two years back when I was getting ready to go to my college for the very first time. It was hard to believe that two years had passed since that day and I had gone from being a student of ASB to an alumni of ASB.

All throughout my journey from Cochin to Ettimadai, I kept thinking about my college, trying to recollect those golden memories of the time that I spent there. I remembered that first day in college. I remembered that first day in class, when I was afraid to even step into the class. It all seemed like yesterday. I remembered the classes in CR1, CR2, CR3, CR4, CR5, ECR and the SAPG sessions by Udhayakumar Sir. I could not help but laugh when I thought about those sessions when me and Dimple (fellow last bencher) used to struggle to stay awake and wait for the session to get over to rush to the canteen to get tea. ECR being an air-conditioned room, we really did have a tough time staying awake during sessions in ECR, the only exceptions were when Colloquia Talkies was going on, SBM/IMC classes, and yes the most dreaded "Marketing Summer Project" presentations.

I thought about all the group projects and assignments that we did, especially the Marketing Research project, the outings to city for the projects (with a hidden agenda of having food from outside), the project presentations, and the quarrels within the group. I remebered the trimester exams and me crying after every exam saying it was difficult and my friends (Dimple most of the time) trying to console me. 

The memories of the festivities in the campus were also vivid in my mind. I remember participating in the Gokulashtami procession, winning the Bhajan competition and yes wearing a saree for the first time in my life. I remember 'Utsav', the events in SKH, those early morning Badminton games and the 'Merciless Massais' winning 'Utsav-2012'. I remember lighting lamps in the lawn and bursting crackers during Diwali, the musical chair and floral carpet during Onam, the DJ nights in the lawn and the flash mobs. I remember Kalakruthi and how SKH used to come alive during it.

I remembered 'Pragati' and the conference on Sustainable Development and how it bought out the best in us. I thought about the placement season - the joys and disappointments that it bought and how we supported each other through it all. I thought about my angelic professors (who were more of our friends than teachers) who were there with us through all our highs and lows guiding us. I thought about the smiling faces that greeted us when we used to go to the office room. I thought about the dignitaries we interacted with during the Colloquia sessions.

I remembered my days in A-409 Gargi Bhavanam - the breathtakingly beautiful view of the Western Ghats that greeted us every morning when we stepped out of our rooms, the mess food, the announcements in the hostel that resembled railway announcements, the evening discussions over a cup of coffee, crowding around the night canteen, the midnight birthday celebrations, those sleepless nights during exam time, and the most important of it all, those 14 angels who not even for a moment made me realize that I was away from home. 

It hurt most when I thought about the last day in college - the farewell speeches, the batch photo session at the roof top, DG Sir clicking away with his camera, as the Ettimadai sky started turning dark. It was as if a curtain was falling on one of the most wonderful chapters of our lives.  

I was lost in my thoughts, when my bus stopped in front of the large hoarding of our university at Ettimadai. I was back in college after six months, though it seemed like an eternity to me. I had missed my college very badly. It felt good to be back in the campus, to be reunited with my friends and teachers, to once again take those long walks around the campus. I could see smiling faces everywhere; two years of our hard work and determination had finally paid off. We were all ecstatic about finally becoming 'Post Graduates'. 

But the moments of ecstasy were followed by agony, when after the ceremony, everyone started saying their 'Goodbye's and 'We will keep in touch's and started leaving. If that feeling on that last day in college was bad, this was worse.  Back then, we knew that we had a chance to meet during the convocation. This time around we were not sure of when we would get a chance for a reunion like the one that we just had. SKH which was bustling with students before the ceremony, now looked deserted. 

With a heavy heart we bid adieu to our campus, to Planet-E, and to all the things that we had come to love about it over the last two years. So that is how my story ends, well this is not my story alone, this could be the story of an ASBian. We may have left the college, but the college will never leave us. As I made my way back to home in the Banglore-Ernakulam Inter City Express, I kept my eyes glued to the window to get a glimpse of our campus for one last time. The very first time I had seen the campus was while travelling in a similar train. As the train went past Ettimadai, I realized the journey had ended, at the place where it had all started.