Unrequited love: Agony or Ecstasy?

“It was inevitable: the scent of bitter almonds always reminded him of the fate of unrequited love.” – The very first time that I read this line from Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s ‘Love in the Time of Cholera’ was many years ago, when I hardly knew what love was, let alone unrequited love. But recently I reread the book and the very same line seemed to make a whole lot of sense, and why wouldn’t it, when a lot of things had happened in my life, between the first time I read it and the second time I read it, including love, and that too an unrequited one.

It is strange how love which can be your biggest strength at times, can sometimes also be your biggest weakness. When one is in love, one feels that one can achieve anything in life, there is an immense confidence in oneself, mostly because of the faith that there is someone by your side who thinks the world of you. But when that very source of strength decides to let go of you, decides to break your faith, it can totally rip you of all the confidence you had in yourself. I have often wondered why people go into depression and some even tend to take their lives, when their love fails, when their lovers leave them – is it because the pain of heartbreak is that unbearable, or is it that one totally loses their self-esteem when they realize that someone felt that they were so dispensable that they left them despite of your undying unconditional love for them? I really don’t have an answer to that because I have been through a heartbreak and I have felt both – the pain of heartbreak and the loss of self-worth that it caused.

I have always been a believer of love that lasts an eternity, I still am, but time and again, life keeps giving me instances that prove me wrong. I sometimes feel like I am blast from the past when it comes to my beliefs in love, partly it is because of the movies that I have grown up watching and the books that I have read. I remember having this lunch break conversation with my colleagues almost a year back, when we were discussing the movies that we watched recently. ‘Premam’, a Malayalam movie, a blockbuster hit was hitting the roof of popularity at that time, and naturally our conversation went into that. Everyone at our table was all praise for the movie, when I said that I didn’t like the movie and their jaws dropped, one of my colleagues almost fell of a chair I think in utter disbelief. The movie was the story of coming of age of the protagonist ‘George’, played brilliantly by actor Nivin Pauly. What I didn’t like about the movie was the storyline, of how George falls in love with three women, during different phases of his life. Though all my 80’s friends loved the movie and called it realistic, I was struggling to accept the fact that unrequited love was so easy to get over that the protagonist just kept falling in love at the drop of a lover, sorry hat! Maybe the current generation is totally cool with this idea of moving on in life, one major lifestyle brand even made that their tagline to attract customers in the youth segment! Well, as they say, ‘To each their own’.

But the experience that shook all my beliefs of love and shattered the very foundation of all my beliefs, was my very own love story. It’s strange how those people who proclaim that they will never fall in love, are always the first ones to fall head over heels in love as compared to others, and I was no different. All through my life, I kept telling myself that I will never fall in love, and then one fine day (or should I say, a not so fine day), it happened, I had fallen truly, madly, deeply in love. Being in love – It was a beautiful feeling, a zillion times more beautiful than what I had always thought it would be. All was well in my paradise of love, until that day when I came to know that I was alone in that paradise, when I realized that the person whom I loved was not there to stay, whereas I was in it for life. I have always been a lover of words, I am at my happiest self when I read and when I write, but I never knew that words could also hurt, until that day when I read that e-mail from my now ex-boyfriend, informing me that he no longer wanted to continue our relationship. When I read it, I felt as if my whole life had come to a standstill, as if the ground beneath my feet was slipping and I was spiralling down into an abyss with nothing to hold on to. I read and re-read the message through my eyes filled with tears, and each time I read it, it was becoming very clear to me that he no longer wanted me in his life. In his message, he was asking me not to hate him and to forget and forgive him, but all those lines conveyed only message to me - a “Goodbye forever". So, there I was, with my heart broken into pieces and self-respect hurt beyond repair, tears flowing incessantly, an inexplicable pain in my heart, wishing that it was just a bad dream and that I would wake up soon, only to realize that it was not real. I was not prepared for a situation like this, I was not sure as to what to do next. Should I talk to him, should I go meet him and persuade him to take me back into his life? I thought, I thought a lot about it, and like any self-respecting individual, I decided to walk away with my self-respect intact, but little did I know back then that I was walking into one of the darkest phases of my life. With a lot of pain, I wrote back to him, saying that I respect his decision and that I would stay out of his life. I took the decision to move on, but I was not sure if I would ever be able to. There are times that I wished I could just leave his memories the way he left me! The days, months and the year that followed saw me going from depressed to angry to dejected. Hatred characterized that phase of my life, hatred towards love, towards myself, my beliefs of eternal undying love, towards others, towards everything in life. Those were the days when I used to cry myself to sleep, I used to keep checking my phone constantly for a call, a text, an e-mail from him which never came, I used to put a fake smile on my face to convince the people dear to me, that I was fine when in fact I was crying out loud inside for help, to forget the pain, to forget the hurt. Then there was also one day where I decided to throw self-respect out the window and picked up my phone, dialled his number, begged him to reconsider his decision. If I could undo one day, just one day of my life, then that day definitely is the one I would, because it was the day that made me hate myself, the day I felt that I had let down every single person who cared about me, the day I had fallen in my own eyes.

But then, a year since the break-up, something happened in my life, something which changed my whole perspective towards life, I escaped from a situation from which I never thought I would come out of unhurt, let alone alive. It taught me the value of life, it taught me to appreciate life and to live life without any regrets. It put a lot of things in perspective, including my unrequited love. I realized that it was nothing but a part of this journey of life. In life, we sometimes suffer setbacks, but that does not mean that we stop living, we pull ourselves together and go on. So many hearts break in this world, so many love stories end on a sad note, some love stories end, even before they begin, but life goes on. What I considered a dead-end in life, was nothing but a road block, all I needed was a detour. As compared to the suffering in the world, as compared to the struggles that many go through everyday to make ends meet, as compared to the fights that many go through to stay alive in this world, my broken heart and its pain were hardly anything. There were bigger, better things in life to devote my time, my skills, and my efforts to. I realized that I had blessings that would take me a lifetime to thank my creator for. I realized that I had a gift, a way with words, which I could use to make people laugh, make people think, make people go on a journey into a world that I have created with my words. I started writing more often. I realized that I was fortunate to have got a loving family whose happiness depended entirely on my happiness. I realized that I couldn’t make them happy unless I was happy. But for that to happen, firstly I had to do something, I had to forgive someone. No, it was not the one who had left me, it was the one whom I had left, whom I had stopped loving and caring about – myself. I had to first forgive myself for completely ignoring myself as I mourned over my lost love, for hating myself for having loved someone who was, perhaps not worthy of that love. I realized that I was wrong in punishing myself for a fault that was not mine, I had not left anyone heart broken, and I never would, it is the worst, most demeaning thing that you can do to someone. Once I forgave myself life was easy, life slowly started coming back to normalcy, I was now happy, my writing improved, my work improved, my life improved.

Well, love teaches you a lot of things, but love that remains unrequited teaches you a lot more. If you are able to live through a heart break, be assured that you have a strong heart, and if you are able to forgive the person who broke your heart, then be assured that you have a beautiful one too. I never thought that I would be able to do the “forget and forgive” because the more you try to forget, the more you remember and the more you try to forgive, the more it reminds you of the pain that the person inflicted on you. It took me years to do that, but forget and forgive I did, and it was liberation. What I thought would be the final nail in the coffin, the marriage of my ex-boyfriend (for which I was obviously not invited, but thanks to social media and common friends I came to know), even that didn’t hurt, not even a little. Guess, that’s the power of forgiveness. Unrequited love also taught me a very good lesson in terms of expectations. It is only when we have expectations, we get disappointed in life, when things don’t go as we expect. I had a lot of expectations from love, from the person I loved, which is why I was dejected when they failed. One of the keys to leading a content life is to have nil expectations from people, and from life in general.

I have often wondered if unrequited love is a pain or a pleasure, agony or ecstasy. I still haven’t figured that one out yet, as at times I feel that it is pure agony, a deep sorrow, a pain like none other, but then there are times when I feel like it is one of the most beautiful feelings in this world. Knowing that you were able to love someone so deeply, is indeed a beautiful feeling. Another interesting thing about unrequited love is that one never really gets over unrequited love completely, it is always there somewhere at the back of one’s mind, it may not make its presence felt at all times, but some triggers bring it to the forefront. Well, I can never look at the rain without being reminded of the tears that I have cried over my lost love, or look at the sea without being reminded of that sea inside in those days post breakup. Unrequited love has perhaps left me with a handicap for life when it comes to falling in love; Love and heart break are two roads which once taken are very hard to go down again. However it has made me fall in love with a person who is totally worthy of all the love in the world, and whom I am sure will never break my heart – me, yes it has made me fall in love with myself. Yes, unrequited love is agony, but once you have passed through that initial phase of pain, it is more of an ecstasy. I guess no one can really figure that one out, whether unrequited love is agony or ecstasy. Love is an inexplicable feeling and so is unrequited love, the only way in which one can know how it feels is to experience it, but I would never want anybody’s love to remain unrequited, but to those who know the feeling “Cheers and Happy Valentine’s Day to us”! We are special and so is our love, as it’s ours and ours only.


P.S: There was a time when the mere thought of unrequited love used to bring tears to my eyes, but now I have written a full-length article on it and I still have a smile on my face. As they say "All is well that ends well"; I guess all is well in the world!

(Un)Turning 30

The signs had been there for quite some time – greying hair, panting like a dog on climbing a flight of stairs, difficulty in reading text at a distance, tooth aches, back ache and yes, these were the more direct ones. Then there were those indirect, hidden cues like being addressed as “Aunty” instead of the usual “Chechi” (Malayalam for elder sister) by kids and youngsters alike (and I also had started referring to them as “kids”!). Now it's official. I have turned 30 and I am now officially out of the "Youth" club. Yeah, when you move from “Chechi” zone to “Aunty” zone, it is high time you realized that your time as a young 20 something is up. It has been a month since I turned 30, however the fact still has not quite sunk in. My body had been telling me this for quite some time, and still is telling me that, “Hey Girl, sorry Woman is more appropriate, it’s high time you accept that you are no longer as fit as you used to be earlier, take care of yourself a little more, as you are growing old”. Did I just say “Old”, ouch that hurts!

So what is so scary about "Turning 30" that everyone keeps warning you about. I remember there was an entire episode in "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" about it. I couldn't stop laughing at Joey's "Why God why", until I turned 30 and found myself asking the same!  So, what is it about getting old, that many people are afraid of, and some like me are even unwilling to accept. I kept thinking, is it because of the fact that our looks fade when we grow old, is it because you are no longer attractive as you were earlier? But that can’t be a suitable explanation for "Plain Janes" like me who never got a "Oh, she is so pretty" comment ever in their lives. Since looks had never been a strength, its absence was never going to be a concern, for me. Those few strands of grey hair or those wrinkles on the face, didn’t hurt. So, I ruled out the “looks” factor, so what else could be the reason for this fear of ageing. Is it the impact on health, well, that is a strong one, after all ‘health is wealth’, anything that has an adverse impact on health, can give anyone sleepless nights. So health, I realize is definitely an important reason for the fear. But looks and health were just physical aspects, and they were easier to make peace with, but then there were those psychological aspects, the more scary ones. The fact that with each passing year, you are running a little short of time to fulfil your list of desires in life, a “Bucket list" or a “Wish list” as some call it, does make us nervous, doesn’t it? As someone who has been through a near-death experience, I have seen and experienced the greatest fear most people have, the fear of not been able to live to see another day. That experience helped me realize that we only live once and we must do all that we want to do in this lifetime, so that when the time comes to say the final goodbye, we can do so without any regrets.  So, well that pretty much explains my greatest fear of growing old. Apart from these fears, there are those fears like the one of being on one’s own, taking responsibility for all that is happening in life, I can no longer put the blame on someone else and escape like I used to when I was young  (how I miss those good old school and college days when I hardly had any responsibilities apart from the obvious responsibility of studying, which at that time felt like a huge one, but in comparison to the current responsibilities I have, it hardly qualifies as one!).  

Well, turning 30 did scare the daylights out of me, still continues to, and I don’t know how long it will be before I finally come to terms with the fact that it is all part of growing up, that many have been there and many are joining the bandwagon even as I write this! However turning 30 was also quite an eye-opener. It helped me realize many things in life, like it made me realize that I should never take anything in life for granted. I had always been very proud of my eyesight. I used to keep telling my friends and family that I can pass an eye-test on any given day. However I got the biggest shock of my life one day, when out of my overconfidence, I asked my parents to leave their spectacles at home and even went on to proclaim that they did not need them when I was with them, only to find out later that I was struggling to read the sign boards from a distance. That reality check was followed by another check, this time at an eye hospital, and now here I am, writing this blog on my laptop, with my new pair of spectacles on. Never knew that one day the very eyesight that I had taken so much pride in would no longer be a matter of pride. It was also an eye-opener in terms of health too. I realized that I was no longer as fit as I used to be and that I had to devote extra time and effort into taking care of myself to keep myself fit, which meant more exercise and saying “Adios” to all those junk food items that I totally love. Yes my time was up, I had had my own share of binging on burgers and pizzas, now it was time for me to move on to some healthy food (heart-breaking decision that one, but had to take it, for the love of I, me, myself and for the people who care about me).

Honestly, turning 30 wasn't all that bad, there were a lot of good things to it. Firstly, it is the independence – financial, emotional, and what not, after years of depending on your parents for anything and everything, by the time one turns 30, one is independent enough to take decisions on their own, live life on one’s own terms. Next best thing about turning 30 (well this is something which I have felt, not sure if other "30 somethings" feel the same way about it as I do) is the absence of the competitive spirit that had dominated me right from my high school days and which kind of aggravated with time as I stepped into the big bad world of Corporate. However towards my late 20s, I realized that I had grown tired of the mindless competition or the “rat race of life” as some call it. I had moved from “Compete or die” to “Love each other or perish” (Quote Courtesy: ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ by Mitch Albom, one of my favourite books). That however doesn't mean that I have become complacent or lazy, I still do my work with the same fervour and honesty that I used to when I was young, but the only difference nowadays is that, I do it not to out perform someone or make someone feel inferior, but for the self-satisfaction of having done my job to the utmost of my abilities. Of-late I have also learnt to be more content with life, learnt to let go of hatred, to be more forgiving and empathetic towards others, and to find joy in the small things in life. Basically, I feel that the clock, in my case is actually going the opposite direction; I am not 'Turning 30', but I am 'Un-Turning 30'. With each year, I feel that I am going a little back in time, to my childhood days and to that innocence that characterised that phase of my life. I have seen that happen in my father’s life, he is in his sixties now, but he has the innocence of a child, which I find no different from that of my 2-year old nephew. Well, if every passing year in life marks a slow return to innocence, then I think that turning 30 or for that matter 60 isn’t bad after all. Yes, I have always been slow in learning life lessons, I take a long time to accept things, courtesy Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so it isn't a surprise that I am having difficulty in accepting the fact that I am growing old. I remember, I almost cried out in disbelief when I saw my first strand of grey hair, but over a period of time (as I started losing count of them!), I have learnt to accept it and live with it. With time, I am sure I will learn to accept that I am becoming old, however I will do that without any regrets, happy to discover somewhere down the line, that innocent child in me, that was lost somewhere in this struggle for existence.

  

Life in the year that was 2016

From changing jobs to changing cities, from transforming a house to a home, from being demonetized to demoralised, the year sure had a lot going on for me, but that's so far, don’t know what’s in store next!

They say, lightning never strikes a place twice. Mother nature has a way of being considerate, however life doesn’t offer mercies like that, at least not to some of us. Life has its own way of handing over one blow after another to certain people and I happen to be one of them. The year 2016 is almost nearing end, and when I look back at the year that was, the term ‘eventful’ seems to be an understatement. This year definitely has taken me on a roller-coaster ride, unfortunately (or fortunately?) the lows outnumbered the highs in the journey.

Firstly, it took me to the stars, by handing me a job opportunity that was like a dream to me – one with a Fortune 500 company, that too one of the best public sector companies in the country. The professional, the patriot, the nerd and the philanthropist in me were all on cloud nine. Should have known Murphy’s law better – whatever goes up has to come down. I had not finished basking in the glory of my achievement, when “life” happened, and as is it is the way with life, it sometimes manages to flip 180 degrees in no time. The company that I had given all my time, energy and life into for three long years, which was all praise for me, suddenly seemed to dislike me, and all it took was a resignation letter and a strong resolve to move out. So what if I had wanted more from my job than making an already rich person a little more rich, so what if I had cracked a national level test for post graduates and outperformed similar others in a rigorous selection process to make it into one of the best public sector companies in the country, none of this mattered in the tough corporate world of private sector, I couldn’t go unless I had paid my dues for having worked (often ignoring the fact that I even had a life beyond work) so hard for the company, read “notice period”. But serving the notice period would mean kissing good-bye to the job opportunity forever, as my age would never give me an opportunity to even apply again for that job. So, what would ideally have been the happiest day of my life, the date of joining the company that I had struggled so hard to get into, turned into nothing short of a nightmare. I didn’t have a relieving letter, I didn’t have any proof that I even sent a resignation letter to my manager (heights of blind-trust in my manager, which I regret to this day) who turned his back on me at a time when I was desperate for help, by assuring me that I would be relieved on the date that I requested and then changed his word at the very last moment when I was all set to leave; I would not have expected a similar treatment even from the worst of my enemies, not that I have any. However it struck me really late that I did have a copy of the mail acknowledging my resignation and the date that I wanted to be relieved, which was my saving grace (reinforcing my belief that God does exist and he delays, not denies). One hurdle crossed, joining formalities done, trainings and work began, and everything was returning to normalcy post the nightmarish phase, when “life” happened again. This time it was not a nightmare, it was an ordeal.

So I had a new job now in a new city, next step was to get a new car and a new house. That thing they say about arriving in life, sounds so good and looks so good on paper and celluloid, but in real life it is an arduous, painstaking, laborious task, which was nothing short of an ordeal, I would say. Having been brought up in a typical middle class Indian family, I had a very decent upbringing, my parents made sure that I got all that I wanted, the best education (a strict ‘no-compromise’ factor especially for Keralites) and all the comforts that any daughter would want. It was smooth-sailing for me all along, being the youngest in my family, I was always under the protection of my parents and elder brother. That also meant that I had little knowledge on matters related to managing finances and managing home, I never had to do either of it, as they were always taken care of by my parents or my brother. So it goes without saying that I ended up a complete mess when I had to run the show myself.    

I had always been cynical about my friends who could go on for hours on end about the benefits of investing, saving money, reducing taxes and matters like that which always tend to go above my head (got to admit this, I don’t have any clue how I managed to clear all those finance papers in B-School and even manage to get a rank). When my colleagues at work used to spend hours on their laptops, making declarations to save tax, I used to say with a lot of pride, “I don’t believe in all this savings and investments stuff that you talk about” and continue my work, as they busily typed their way into tax-saving heaven. It all came back to me, all those memories, when I found myself staring in disbelief at the swipe machine as the message “Card declined” showed up on the screen on swiping my card. I was at an electronics shop to buy a washing machine for my newly rented apartment. I figured out in an instant what had gone wrong and I knew that the gentleman at the shop too did, but inorder to save me from embarrassment, he said something like “Madam, it seems there is a maximum limit set by your bank for purchases through this card”, a blatant lie that one. I walked out of the shop, shocked, disappointed, ashamed, and embarrassed all at the same time, to be honest I am unable to describe that feeling in words. I had never came across a situation like that in my life, running out of money.


I realized that day that arriving in life, literally meant arriving, with absolutely nothing in hand, starting from zero and working your way up. Whatever little savings (if one could call salary that went unused as one, remember I had never really believed in savings) I had, I exhausted it all on buying a car and renting a brand new apartment, not to forget the long (really long, never-ending) list of items that are needed to transform a house to home. This was clear unchartered territory for me, setting up a house, and I had to tread that path all by myself, absolutely alone, with no support from my parents (their decision to stay away perplexed me at that time, but like all parents they had a really good reason for doing that, took me a while to figure it out though). I learnt many a lesson in life during that period – the importance of savings, the importance of planning, and the most important one – the value of money. Want to teach someone the value of money, look no further than setting up a house on one’s own. I transformed from a person who used to apply zero thought into shopping, to someone who prepares a well thought-out list much in advance before heading out for shopping. What twenty nine years of my life couldn’t teach me, the first couple of months in my new house taught me. I realized why my parents wanted me to do this on my own, they wanted me to stand on my own feet, they wanted me to not just live but thrive without any support from anyone and I believe that I have been able to do justice to them to an extent. From being dependant on my parents for anything and everything, to being on my own in a city that is totally new to me, I think I have definitely come a long way.  All said and done, I have to say that there was something lacking in my house even after I had everything readied in it. It was just a house to me until my parents came to stay with me for a while, and that is when I felt that my house had actually transformed to a home.

It took a few months for things to stabilize in life, expenses were now in check, savings had started growing and yes I was back to my smooth sailing phase, and then “Demonetization” happened. I was not aware that a term like that even existed, and so did many other Indians until that midnight when the Modi government made a landmark decision that was to change the lives of many Indians overnight. From having no money in my account to having money but not been able to withdraw, I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry at the games life was playing with me. Like Ross in “Friends”, I kept asking myself, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”. I seriously doubted if I actually was a good person and if infact I was, then why was all this happening to me. I recover from one setback and then I have to brace myself for the next one, why? Is it just me or is everyone going through similar struggles, I kept wondering.

Demonetization was supposed to be a bolt from the blue for black money hoarders, but unfortunately it was the same, maybe even worse for innocent people too. As an educated Indian, I am expected to sing praises to the government for such a bold move, else I would either be branded as a black money hoarder/supporter, which I definitely am not, or not elite enough, which is quite true. One of my comments in social media on how this move had affected me very badly and  how it proved so costly for innocent people, drew such flak from my friends group, I was left wondering, “Wow, Are there so many elitists in my friends group?”. Well, I do realize that the executives who commute to office in their own car, or take Ubers, Olas or Merus to their offices which have dedicated ATMs in the premises for their employees and to whom transacting using online wallets, net banking and cards comes as naturally as breathing (I know the feeling because I was one of them six months back) this decision must not have created much of an impact on their daily lives. However, as someone who has seen for real the hardships faced by a section of people, especially in rural areas who were already struggling to make ends meet when they received a death blow in the form of “Demonetization”, I am not able to laud this decision of the government. However hard I try to see reason in the arguments made by the supporters of this move, I am not able to understand how one can justify the loss of a human life as something which is for a “greater good”. Well, would they dare try saying that to someone who has lost their loved one. Then there are all these comparisons that are totally meaningless, so many people die in mobs at other places. Well, did they do that out of compulsion? Were they forced into doing that? The comparison with soldiers at the border, which was by far the most lame one of all, how can one ever compare what a soldier is doing for his motherland to something like standing in a queue all day long? I have always believed in the power of honesty, but something inside me hurts when I think of the plight of honest people in the current situation. Yeah I am not an elitist and I am glad that I am not, because if being an elitist means being blind to the suffering of people around oneself, then it is better not being one. I am trying hard not to get demoralized, because like anyone who has suffered because of this decision, I too hope that the suffering was not in vain, but if things are going on the way they are right now, that day is not far away when even that glimmer of hope also goes off.

As if all of this demonetization woes were not enough, there was more bad news around the corner, especially for the people of Tamilnadu, the death of the former CM of Tamilnadu – J Jayalalitha. Though I am not a Tamil, I was deeply saddened by the news of her demise, partly because I have this connection with Tamilnadu that goes way back to 2008, my first job after completing my engineering degree was in Tamilnadu. From my I.T days in Chennai to my B-School days in Coimbatore to the present stint in Tanjore, I share a special bond with Tamilnadu, some of the best things in my life happened in Tamilnadu. As much as I love my home Kerala, I have to say that I feel more secure when I am in Tamilnadu than when I am in Kerala, and a part of the credit goes to the “Iron Lady” as Jayalalitha was fondly called, for putting in place such a robust law and order system in the state. The way she lead the state, the way she brought so many companies to the state – from I.T to automobile to energy, the way in which she carried herself despite several setbacks in life and her pro-poor schemes, she just commands respect and she is nothing short of an inspiration for all of us, especially women.

The year is about to come to an end. It has been quite an eventful one for me, went through a lot of tough times, but everything only served to make me more strong and wise. It was also a year that gave me a lot of satisfaction and pride in the job that I am doing, directly and indirectly benefitting a lot of people around me. It is also a year that taught me that one should never put work before family, a lesson learnt a very hard way, because all the good work you’ve done may be forgotten in one day by your company or your superiors, but the moments you spend with your family, they last a lifetime. I had read this somewhere, no one remembers powerpoint presentations at your funeral. One must work to live, not the other way around. I also learnt two very essential life skills this year – driving and cooking. I learnt a new language. I learnt how to set up a house all by myself. I learnt that I can finally be on my own, not having to depend on someone to take care of me from time to time. The year that was 2016 was like this for me. I vaguely remember the lyrics of an English song that goes “life is a roller coaster”, well the lyricist is right, life definitely is one. What is a roller coaster ride without the lows, isn’t it what makes the ride worth taking, wouldn’t it be boring ride if the roller coaster went only in one direction. So, all we have to do is just sit back and enjoy the ride and always remember to keep our eyes open for what’s coming next.

Sandesh2Soldiers: Diwali greetings to the bravehearts of the Indian Armed Forces

Two years ago, me and my parents, we found ourselves in a situation, escaping unscathed from which seemed next to impossible, let alone escaping alive. It was the devastating Kashmir floods of 2014. We were among the many people affected by the incessant rains and subsequent floods in Jammu and Kashmir in the year of 2014. Many days passed without food or water or a place to stay, and we had lost that crucial factor that keeps one going at times of distress – “hope”. We had lost all our hopes of making it back to our home alive, when we first saw that ray of hope and it came in the form of men clad in a uniform that we had associated with the “Indian Army”. My concept of God till that day had been very simple; I believed that the goodness in me was my God. When I had to give a face to that belief, the picture of my parents were the first to come to my mind. To me they personified goodness; their love and concern for me, I knew was unconditional, without any expectations. But then I met a group of people, whose love and concern for their fellow beings who were total strangers to them was so unconditional, I felt that they were too good to be real. Never before had I come across a group of people who were so selfless, so dedicated to serving people, that they would happily sacrifice themselves for the sake of the nation and its people. They were the officers of the Indian Army and the Indian Air Force. Now, if I had to put a face to the belief that is ‘God’, the faces of these officers are also sure to make their way into my mind as their selflessness is something that is out of the world.   

Picture courtesy: timesofindia.indiatimes.com

I still remember how the news of the Indian Army being deployed to rescue the people affected by the floods in Kashmir brought hope to the hundreds of us who were stranded and badly in need of help. We had only heard about the valour and courage of our soldiers, their stories of success in every task assigned to them, however we got a chance to see that for real and I would say we were among the very fortunate to have had that opportunity, because it was an experience that bought about a sea change in all of us, in terms of our attitude towards life, our attitude towards our duties as responsible citizens, and most importantly about how life should be lived. Of what use is this life, if it is not for the benefit of those around us? It is something which I have kept asking myself ever since my experience during the Kashmir floods and the main trigger for it had been these officers and their selfless attitude.

From the moment the Indian Army and Indian Air Force arrived to our rescue, we knew we were in safe hands. The way the officers co-ordinated and planned the evacuation of all stranded people from the flood relief camp still makes me wonder as to how someone can think and act in a calm and composed manner given the circumstances that they were working in – a total loss of communication networks, chaos created by a mob that was desperate to get back to safety, limited supply of food, water, fuel and manpower, a total breakdown of all road links to name a few. Common men would have fallen apart in a situation like that, but then the officers were no common men, from the first time that we saw the men in action, we knew there was something special in them. Imagine not been able to contact your near and dear ones for days on end, but still keeping a straight face and consoling other people, instilling hope in them that they will make it through these tough times, working day in and day out without any complaints, most of the Army officials in our camp had not been able to contact their families, however they were working round the clock to ensure that we get back to our homes safe and sound. The only way out of the flood affected area was by air and the Indian Air Force was operating helicopters till late in the night to evacuate maximum number of people from the camp and to bring us food and water. The next day morning even before we woke up, they would commence their work for the day. We were mostly awakened by the sound of the approaching helicopters only.

The efforts of the men in uniform paid off; hundreds of us who were stranded were airlifted in a matter of days and we all returned home safe and sound. Sometimes, when I look back, I think about what would have happened to us had it not been for these officers, would we have made it back alive?

Ever since I returned from Jammu and Kashmir after that near death experience, I have been more appreciative of life. Every day since then, used to end with a prayer – a prayer to thank all those men in uniform who bought us food and water when we were in the camp, all those who kept vigil as we slept, all those who instilled hope in us when we felt that all was lost, all those who helped us reach home safely. I used to pray to God to give me one opportunity to do something similar to what the Indian Army officers did for me, for someone around me. I knew that I would never be able to hold a candle to the Indian Army officers and jawans, but I hoped that someday I could also do something in my own small way to make a difference in the life of another person.

Two years later, I did get that opportunity after I got selected as an Officer with one of the leading Oil Marketing Companies in the country. I was among the group of officers, whom I would like to call “God’s chosen few”, who got a chance to be a part of the ‘Pradhan Mantri Ujjwala Yojana’ – a prestigious initiative of our beloved Prime Minister Shri Narendra Modi, that aims to eradicate smoke from every kitchen in India, by providing free gas connections to women from below poverty line households. I know that I can never match the acts of our brave army men, however whenever I feel that I am making a difference in the life of someone through my work, I feel that I am saying thanks to them in a small way and I have a lot to thank them for – for giving me this life that I am leading now and for teaching me that a life in the service of others is a life well lived.

This Diwali, Modiji has advised the nation to send their greetings to the officers and jawans of Indian Army through the ‘Sandesh2Soldiers’ campaign. As someone who owes her life to the Indian Army and Indian Air Force, I thought I would dedicate this blog to all the men in uniform who have dedicated their entire life to this nation. This is my message to all the soldiers, jawans and officers of the Indian Armed Forces –“You are truly an inspiration for me. You have not only given me a new lease of life, but also given me a new way of living life – a life in the service of the nation and its people. You are our saviours and we, the people of this country would run out of words trying to thank you or appreciate you for what you’ve done for us. You and your families will always be there in our prayers. Be ensured that Victory will always be yours as you have a billion hearts praying for you. Here is wishing you and your families a very happy and prosperous Diwali. May you continue to inspire the generations to come, may you continue to make us proud. Jai Hind.”

 

Celebrating 'Swades'

As the nation celebrates its seventieth year of Independence, we Indians have a lot to be proud of. We have come a long way and we are well on the way to becoming a country that the world looks up to. We are also fortunate to have a leader like Shri. Narendra Modi who is trying to make a difference in the lives of the common people through countless welfare schemes. There are oppositions, still he is going strong. This reminds me of a movie that drove home the point made by Mahatma Gandhi – “Hesitating to act because the whole vision might not be achieved, or because others do not share it, is an attitude that only hinders progress “ . The movie was ‘Swades’, directed by Ashutosh Gowariker, starring Shah Rukh Khan in the lead role, and released in the year 2004. It is one of those rare jewels of Indian Cinema which portrayed patriotism in a very subtle manner using a simple but moving tale. It is undoubtedly one of the best patriotic movies of our times, perhaps the best.

‘Swades’ tells the story of protagonist Mohan Bhargava, a Project Manager at NASA, played by Shah Rukh Khan, who comes to India for a short while and how that journey changes his perspective about his country and his duties and obligations towards the people of the country. The movie was released at a time when brain drain was on a rise, with the I.T boom luring many qualified Indian professionals to pursue career opportunities abroad. I remember, I was in the first year of my engineering degree at that time. The only dream that we youngsters had at that time was to complete our engineering degree and secure a high paying I.T job in the U.S. This movie was an eye-opener for many such youngsters who were forced to rethink.   

This Independence Day, let’s celebrate the spirit of ‘Swades’. Here’s why ‘Swades’ makes for a re-watch if you’ve watched it earlier, or why it a must-watch if you haven’t.  Lessons from ‘Swades’ and some of the most memorable scenes from the movie:

Be it your parents or your country, they need your support

Ever wondered why that feeling of going home always brings an inexplicable feeling of joy and peace in our hearts. One of the reasons is the voices and faces that greet us as we open the doors of our homes. Our homes do not feel complete without the elders – grandparents and parents. Merely seeing their face itself gives us such relief. However it is a pity that in many homes, elderly do not get the love and affection they deserve, and are forced to stay in old-age homes, as their sons and daughters leave them in pursuit of their career or riches. The film draws a parallel between children who in their selfish desire to achieve success in life abandon their parents, and citizens who leave their country in search of better opportunities abroad. Just like our parents and elders need the support of their children, our country too needs the support of its people.

We all are one

There are numerous instances in the movie, where the topic of gender inequality and caste system comes up. The movie throws light on the inequalities that still exist in certain parts of India, discrimination based on a person’s caste and discrimination based on gender. It tells us that what has been going on for ages doesn’t necessarily have to be right. If it is wrong, it has to be changed.

Stand up for what is right and take action rather than blaming each other

The movie teaches us that one should always stand up for what one believes is right, whether others believe in it or not, whether others support you or not. Instead of blaming each other for things that are going wrong, the movie urges us to take collective action and set things right.

There is a part of India that is still struggling to make ends meet

One of the most moving, heart-wrenching scenes of the movie is the one where Mohan meets a farmer who tells him about his plight, about how he ended up losing everything he had, due to the injustice meted out to him by the society. It is one of the turning points of the movie.  While there is a part of India that is making rapid progress, there is a part of India that is still struggling to make ends meet, to stay alive. Majority of the people who are economically well-off are either unaware of this latter section of the public or conveniently chose to ignore them. An eye-opener of a scene this one, credits to the actors and the director for portraying the emotions so well. Don’t be surprised if your eyes well-up after watching this scene.

The nation beckons

This one goes without mentioning; when you have a lyricist like Javed Akhtar penning the lyrics and a maestro like A.R Rahman composing and singing the song, the result is a masterpiece. Every Indian’s heart skips a beat when they hear “Yeh jo des hai tera” from Swades. Even after all these years, the song still continues to tug at our hearts. What better way to say that the nation beckons than this beautiful song.

Serving your country takes you places

There is no feeling better than the one of having made a difference in the lives of the people of your country. While some may argue that a job back home, may not always have the same perks as a job abroad, the pride and joy of serving one’s nation is unparalleled. One of my favourite scenes in the movie is where Mohan is leaving NASA and his Manager at NASA tells him, “You could have gone places” to which he replies, “I am going places”.  

‘Swades’ is a movie that not only makes us realize our love for the nation, it also makes us realize the goodness of people. It is a movie that I always go back to whenever I feel low in life, whenever I feel the need for some inspiration in life. There is a saying in Malayalam, “Nattinpuram nanmakalal samrudham” which translates to “Villages abound in goodness” in English. One of the reasons why this movie touched a chord with many of us is the setting of the movie – the village which has a nostalgic feel to it, and the endearing characters in the movie – from the protagonist to the different people in the village, all of whom we can very well relate to, and yes, that feeling of homecoming that just warms everyone's hearts.

With an IMDB rating of 8.3, this movie is definitely worth watching, more than once. If you still haven’t watched it, what better time to watch it than now, when the feeling of patriotism is in the air with Independence Day celebrations still on. This Independence Day as we salute the heroes who got us our independence, let's also salute the unsung heroes who have dedicated their whole lives towards serving the nation and making it a better place for its people. Jai Hind!

Of living life between "Hi"s and "Goodbye"s

“All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players, they have their exits and entrances”, so began the play ‘I don’t like it: As you like it’ in Prithvi theatre, Mumbai. The play, directed by Rajat Kapoor, had various instances that made the audience look back and introspect at life and moments that made the audience think about what one actually wants in life, but for me the defining moment had to be the initial sentence of the play, taken from the very popular monologue from the play ‘As you like it’ by William Shakespeare. It triggered off myriad thoughts in my mind, thoughts of life, of people who came into my life at various stages, and most importantly of the ones that left. It got me thinking, “Isn’t life just a long series of events interspersed with chance encounters and farewells?”

It’s strange how it takes just a “Hi” to start relationships, but it takes more than a “Goodbye” to end them. I wonder, if it’s a given that people who come into your life are bound to leave at some point of time or the other, then why is it that every farewell is laden with tears, why is it that when some people leave, they leave tugging at ones heartstrings?

When I look back at life, I realize that I have had a fair share of teary farewells in my life, while some people left with a promise to stay in touch, some left without any such assurance and some left forever, but with an unspoken promise to meet in another world, perhaps. As much as I hated the thought of farewells, life kept taking me places and I found myself saying more Goodbye's than Hi's all the time. Off-late my life has been about very short encounters and abrupt farewells, by now I feel I should have gotten used to saying “Good bye”, however each farewell leaves me teary-eyed and down. Then again life happens and the daily trials and tribulations of life fills up the voids created by farewells and life goes on as usual, but nothing, not even time can take away completely the memories of people dear to us, can they?

I always believed that I had built this invisible wall around myself, the entry into which was restricted only to those who were very close to me. It was in my opinion, a measure to protect myself from the misery of a broken trust or a relationship gone sour. However with time, I realized that the walls had begun to crumble and I had let in more people than I had intended to and when anyone left, it hurt. The irony of it all is that, if saying that initial “Hi” to that person was difficult, saying “Goodbye” was even more difficult.

Recently I was reading the novel ‘Guide’ by R.K.Narayan. There is a character Joseph in the novel who tells the protagonist of the novel Raju that he only does his duty of providing his guests with all that they require during their stay at his place, unconcerned about their blame or praise. If we were to look at our lives this way it makes sense, because aren’t we also like Joseph for the guests who are the people who come into our lives. If we consider the people who come into our lives as guests, our aim should be to give our best to them, be it our time, our support or our love and affection, but not to expect anything back in return, and not to get attached to them. In that way, we can protect ourselves from the pain of them not sharing the same feelings that we have for them, or them leaving us. A lot of people come into our lives, while some give us memories of a lifetime, some give us not so pleasant ones, while some help us become better human beings, some give us a chance to help them become better human beings, but in the end once their role in our life is over, they leave, sometimes with a promise to return, sometimes forever. It is only when we get attached to them, it brings us misery. All that I have read and understood from books by great minds, all that I have learnt from my experience, tells me to not get attached to people or places, however in the battle between the head and the heart, seldom does the head win.

It is an ideal condition to wish for, one where someone is totally detached and devoid of attachment to anyone, but I am not sure how one can attain that state or if it can ever be attained. Until then, let the cycle of encounters and farewells continue, let me still shed tears at every farewell, but let me be able to tell everyone who came into my life, “Yes, I will miss you” from the bottom of my heart, let me be able to tell them that I have tried to make their life better in every way possible, but may have failed at times and for which I am extremely sorry; let me be able to tell them that I am thankful for all the memories, bitter or sweet, that they have given me and that I will cherish them always, and that this farewell is but a short hiatus till we meet again sometime, in this life or another.   

 

Undefeated

“Failure is the stepping stone to success” – My first tryst with this age old adage was many years ago, when I was in school. It was the moral studies class in school and we students were all ears to our teacher as she taught us this lesson in moral science. Back then, for us, it was just a sentence which we had to learn by-heart to get good grades in the moral studies class. However, years later, after a fair share of victories and defeats in life, I realized the significance of that sentence in my life.

There have been countless instances where I met with failure in life;however there are three which I believe are the ones that have had the greatest impact in my life and which I feel are worth sharing with everyone. Each of them belongs to three different phases of my life.

At School: That first encounter with failure

As a student in school, I always excelled in studies. My interest in learning coupled with my perseverance kept translating into good grades year after year at school. My parents and teachers were proud of me and they were confident that I would ace all the exams I gave. Life was going great for me, until the tenth board exams happened. The much revered (and equally dreaded) board exams were considered to be the deciders of the future course of our lives. Like all students, I too was nervous, but my greatest fear was not that of failing the exam, but something else. My parents and teachers were sure that I would not only pass the exam, but also secure one of the top ranks in the exam. I studied, much harder than I ever had in all my years in school, and gave my board exams. I passed the exam with very good marks, but my marks were not good enough to make it to the top ranks. After being the topper of every class, year after year at school, I failed at a juncture where it mattered to me the most. I felt that all my efforts had been in vain, I had disappointed everyone who believed that I was capable of something more than just passing the exam. Angry, disappointed, dejected, I prayed for a miracle to turn back time so that I could fix whatever it was then went wrong with the way I gave my exams. With much pain, I realized that I had lost the opportunity forever and there was nothing I could do to change that. I had passed the exam, but I had failed – failed my parents, failed my teachers, and failed myself. It was the first of the many encounters that I was to have with failure later on in life.

At the First job: When starry-eyes turned moist

Ranks kept eluding me even after school. I graduated from engineering college with a distinction, but no rank, yet again! However I had no reason to be sad, because I had managed to make it into one of my dream companies, during the campus placements in college. I was elated at the idea of becoming a part of the company that I had always dreamt of working with. I remember the first day in office when we, the company’s new recruits, the ‘crème de la crème’ of the best engineering colleges in South India, took our first steps into the corporate world. We were a group of starry-eyed youngsters, fresh out of our engineering colleges, hoping to make a brilliant start to our career. All of us worked hard to complete the three month long training program with flying colors. However on the day of completion of the training period, we were told that our training period had been extended and that we were to go through more evaluations in the coming days, the performance in which, would eventually decide our future in the company. “Recession” – a term that we had only heard about till date, had become a reality. Our company was badly affected by the recession in the year of 2008. The company was not in a position to on-board all the recruits at the end of the extended training period, so they decided to retain the top few recruits and lay-off the rest, and I belonged to the latter. The truth that I had lost my job had not dawned on me, until one of the H.R team members asked us to enter our resignations in the company portal on that last day in office. It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that my career had ended even before it had actually begun. With moist eyes and a heavy heart, I entered my resignation in the employee portal. I felt that my life had suddenly come to a standstill. That starry-eyed girl who had dreams of reaching great heights in her career was lost; she had fallen into a deep abyss of despair. 

After M.B.A: When life changed

The year was 2013 and the venue was my M.B.A College. I was attending the interview for the post of Management Trainee in one of the leading Telecom Operators in the country . My interview went well. My joy knew no bounds when I came to know that I had been selected for the job. After completing my M.B.A, I joined the company. We trainees spent the first few months in the organization learning and working on internal projects. However the real work began, when we were assigned to various districts in Kerala. I was assigned to a district that was far from home, which meant that I had to stay away from home. Just when I had begun to accept the new place and its people, I was assigned my new role of a Service Center Coordinator. The role required me to handle the service related aspects of various franchisee owned service outlets in the zone. It involved managing collection, reducing churn, improving C-SAT (Customer Satisfaction), ensuring showroom profitability, reducing complaints, increasing walk-ins, driving sales of products and services, among many other responsibilities which were not included in our job responsibilities, but which we were expected to do. A few days into the job, I realized that I totally disliked my job. After completing my M.B.A, I was expecting a job that would be all about doing analysis, making power point presentations and being part of strategic decision making discussions, and here I was standing with folded hands in front of irate customers and disgruntled franchisees hurling abuses at me. I had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my first job after an M.B.A was a far cry from what I had imagined it would be. With a total lack of interest in the job, I felt like a spent force, towards the end of a year into the job. I felt that I had failed again in life; despite of having worked so hard during my M.B.A I had ended up in a job, that least interested me.

Well, those were the three stories of my encounters with failure, which I wanted to share with everyone. Every encounter with failure hurt, however each of them taught me a lesson that would help me get the better of failure later on in life. I would like to share ten such lessons that I learnt from life, and which I like to call my ‘Ten Commandments for staying Undefeated’. 

Lesson #1: Do not fear failure

Many years since school, I analysed what went wrong with my tenth board exams. I realized that my failure was not due to lack of effort, as I had put in more effort than usual in my tenth grade. If there was one factor that differentiated my tenth grade from all other years at school, it was the burden of expectations that my parents and teachers had thrust upon me. They expected me to get top ranks in the exam. The fear of failing to live up to their expectations, put me under tremendous pressure, during the exams. In the end, the fear of failure got the better of me and I failed to achieve what I had wanted to achieve very badly – a rank in the exam. It took me years to realize the fact that the fear of failure is often the very cause of failure. One way in which I overcame my fear of failure was through sports. Sports taught me the art of being graceful even in defeat; it taught me to look at failure as not an end, but as an opportunity to learn how to do better later on.

Lesson #2: Be a student all your life

This is a lesson that I learnt from my second major encounter with failure, when I lost my first job. I realized that we live in a highly competitive world that lives by the motto – Survival of the “Smartest”. I realized that hard work alone doesn’t suffice in today’s world; one had to be smart, and to be smart, one had to keep learning and evolve with the changing times. I understood that there is no dearth of opportunities in this world for people who are willing to work hard, for people who are willing to learn.The key to surviving in this highly volatile world is to follow what Steve Jobs said, “Stay hungry, Stay foolish”.

Lesson #3: Do not look for instant gratification

Looking for instant gratification for efforts, will most often leave one disappointed. Sometimes, it takes years to finally get to where one wants to reach. A mistake that most people often make is that of giving up mid-way or at the first sign of failure.The key is to keep going at all times. As Winston Churchill said, “Success is not final, Failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts”.  Patience, perseverance and a ‘never-say-die’ attitude will keep you going till you reach your final destination, and once you’re there, should there be any looking back! 

 

Lesson #4: Build a support-system

Just as a cushion reduces the impact of a fall, a strong support system protects you when you hit a low in your life. Surround yourselves with friends, family, teachers, people who adore you. At times when you are feeling down, there is nothing more reassuring, than that friend or loved one telling you “Don’t worry. It’s going to be alright.” Having a great support system helps make the pain of a failure more bearable.

Lesson #5: Learn to believe

‘Belief’ is a very strong word. I have seen it work wonders in a person’s life. A person with a strong belief – be it belief in God, belief in destiny, belief in oneself, or belief in some super power that controls the world, is very hard to defeat. While there are many things in life that we can control, there are a lot of things over which we have absolutely no control. It is always good to believe that there is a God or some mysterious super power out there to take care of those which are not in our control, for us. If one does not believe in God or destiny, a strong belief in oneself, would also do. They say, “Man can move mountains by faith”. A person, who is a true believer, remains unperturbed even in the midst of failure.

Lesson #6: Offer a helping hand

In my school and college days, I remember that whenever our teachers made student groups for group assignments, they made it in such a way that every group had a bright student and a student who wasn’t very good at studies. They used to ask the bright students of the group to help the weak students with their assignments. It is something which we can replicate in our personal and professional lives. Take some time out of your busy schedule to help someone, because if there is something equally rewarding, if not more rewarding than one’s own success, it is being instrumental in the success of another person. Help someone achieve their dreams – sponsor a child, volunteer to teach underprivileged children, offer guidance to someone who is need of it, even a seemingly simple act of just being there for someone when they need you, will leave you feeling elated. 

Lesson #7: Know that you are not alone

History stands testimonial to the fact that failure is a stepping stone to success. Take some of the most famous names in history – Albert Einstein, Charlie Chaplin, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Henry Ford, J.K Rowling, Silvester Stallone, or our very own Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, everyone has failed at some point or the other in their lives.  They failed, but they picked themselves up, and emerged stronger than ever after every defeat, and finally made it big in life. Whenever you feel that you have failed, just think about all these beautiful people, and you will realize that you are not alone.

Lesson #8: Give it up

The ‘Bhagavad Gita’ is a book that I always refer to when I feel the need for clarity in life. I would like to share one of my favorite lessons from the Gita that helped me overcome the fear of failure – ‘Abandon the desire for the fruits of your actions’. Very often one gets so attached to the results of one’s actions that the fear of not achieving it overpowers our actions, which ultimately results in our failure. However, when we give up the desire for enjoying the results of our actions, we are not concerned about success or failure, and this indifference eliminates our fear of failure. Never give up action, but give up the desires for its results, and you will find yourselves on the road to success! 

Lesson #9: Enjoy the ride

When one sets out on a journey to achieve something in life, one is not sure of how the journey will end – in victory or in defeat. Though one cannot predict the outcome of the journey, one can decide how they want the journey to be – they can either go through the journey worrying about the outcome, or they can choose to enjoy each and every moment of the ride. The choice is entirely up to the traveler! So enjoy the ride all along so that you have no regrets at the end of the journey.

Lesson #10: Master the art of ‘Equanimity’

Last but not the least, the key to remaining undefeated is to learn the art of ‘equanimity’. A person, who treats victory and defeat as the same, is neither overjoyed when successful, nor disappointed when unsuccessful.The one, who has learnt to master this evenness of mind, remains undisturbed even in the face of defeat.

Well, those are my ‘Ten Commandments’ towards combating failure and staying undefeated. The lessons that I learnt from each failure, helped me overcome failure at a later stage in life. I would like to share a few of those instances from life, where my past failures helped me defeat failure and emerge successful. 

After years of missing out on the top ranks in school and engineering college, I finally got my share of due credit in my B-School, as I completed my M.B.A with a rank in the university. What was different in M.B.A? Well many things, I had thoroughly enjoyed the whole process of learning while doing my M.B.A, I had totally let go of the desire to get a rank in the exams, and most importantly, I was not afraid of failure.

After I lost my first job, I was disappointed to the extent that I had started doubting my capabilities. But thanks to the support of my family and friends, who constantly kept reminding me that I was capable of achieving whatever I wanted in life, I regained my confidence. I went on to work for one of the leading software firms in the country, aced their training program for new recruits, won accolades for my work, and completed two years, before quitting to pursue my higher studies.

And what happened with my first job post M.B.A? Did I quit? I would have, had it not been for two noble souls in the organization who offered me a helping hand when I needed it most.They gave me some sound career advice, which made me rethink my decision to quit. They made me realize that I was wrong in looking for instant gratification – a job that was of my liking, in hardly a year into the organization. I could either quit my job, which was the easiest way out of the situation, or I could do my job with such dedication and passion that I could prove that I was worthy of taking on that role of my liking within the organization. I chose the latter and here I am, about to complete three years in the organization! Yes, I had to wait for eighteen months to get a role change, but I have no regrets, because I learnt a great deal about managing people during my tenure as a Store Coordinator. Those eighteen months helped me make the transition from an engineer to a manager. It also served as a good learning platform for me as I learnt more about the telecom industry during my tenure in the role. Now when I look back, I realize the importance of a field experience in laying a strong foundation to one's career in any industry and I thank the organization for having given us new recruits such an experience very early on in our career. 

Well, that brings me to the end of this article. In life, we win some battles, we lose some, but we just have to keep going, no matter what happens. The only thing that we do need to remember at all times is that nothing in this world, no failure, no loss is big enough to stop us from living life happily. Every moment in life is to be celebrated and cherished because we will never get it back. Success and failure are both transient, so why worry? I would like to conclude this article, with yet another quote from the ‘Bhagavad Gita’ – “Never in this world is a sincere person defeated”. So, here’s to the spirit of staying sincere in our efforts and here’s to the spirit of staying ‘Undefeated’!